African Amnesia

love-africa-stickerA very common condition where native-born Africans in developed countries suddenly forget their African identity and heritage in the absence of trauma.

Common Causes:
1. Extreme embarrassment for their African country, identity or heritage.
2. Extreme love for their new country.
3. Forced to denounce their native country for serious reasons.
4. Social acceptance
5. Status change

Symptoms:
1. Loss of memories in Africa
2. Loss of appetite for native African foods, patient can’t even stand the sight.
3. Sudden inability to speak their native African language.
4. Exaggerated love for anything that undermines their native African country.

Treatment:
1. A reality clap from someone with a massive hand.
2. Deployment from the developed country.
3. A huge party with all the patient’s favorite foods from motherland.
4. A reality check from family members and friends.

Coming to America 101 for Nigerians..

Coming to AmericaAfter 14 years in America, here’s my advice to my fellow Nigerians migrating to the United States of America. My advice is solely from my experience. This is not to negate the fact that your experiences might be different from mine.

1. Smile: Smiling is huge in the American culture. I remember a lot of Americans telling me that they thought I was “mean”(rude person) because I didn’t smile. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, smile because it shows that you are friendly.

2. If your name is hard to pronounce, be prepared for people to ask you if you have a nickname. I thought my name was simple until I came to the States. I had to teach a lot of Americans on the right way to pronounce my name. They asked me for a nickname, I say “no.” I hate people asking me for a nickname because it seemed like I was changing my name to fit their inability to pronounce my name. You can give them a nickname, that’s your call.

3. Be prepared to educate people on Africa: it depends on the types of people you meet. A lot of people are curious about Africans and Africa, so expect a lot of questions. Brush up on your African geography, history and be prepared to answer any questions. You will get intelligent questions as well, nothing tedious. Get ready. Don’t be surprised if somebody asks you if you have Ebola.

4. If you want attention, wear your African attire: you wear African attire like nothing back at home. Over here, people will look at you except you wear it in a place where they are familiar with African attires. You will get a lot of compliments for your African attires. Some Americans are intrigued by our African attires.

5. You have an accent-After 14 years in the States; Americans can still hear my accent. Americans will ask you a lot of questions about your accent.

6. If your friends invite you to the movies or somewhere that requires money. Don’t assume that because they invited you that there are responsible for paying. You are responsible for paying except they specifically tell you they will pay for you. If you don’t have money, let them know.

7.You can call everyone by their first names here, except for your teachers and boss. The whole Aunty and Uncle still apply for Nigerian adults here(at least for me).

Welcome to America!!! Buckle up, work hard, study hard and don’t forget to make Nigeria proud. Wink!!

Any questions? Please comment below or email me: 9jagirl4real@gmail.com

Life Quote 2015: Feb 27

“Don’t be afraid to step in uncertainty, when you know that the God that you are stepping out with is certain.”-Ismael Lowery

For Non-Nigerian Women: How to make a Nigerian man LOVE you..

Nigerian guy1. If you googled (how to make a Nigerian Man love you), you are trying too hard. Men in general subconsciously have desperate detectors. I have never met a man who likes desperate; he probably exists, I haven’t met him yet. No matter how desperate you are, he does not have to know.

Why should you hide desperate? This is very important because some Nigerian guys can capitalize on it and use it to their advantage. Trust me, hiding the thirst will work for you. If he likes you, he will chase you. Allow him to chase you.

Nigerian guys are in your home country for a chance for a better job opportunity, education, etc. They already understand that something worth having is worth chasing. If he likes you, he will come after you except he is married or a wimp. If he married or a wimp, you don’t want him anyways, let him go. Stop trying so hard to win his attention. If he doesn’t like you, you will meet somebody else who adores you.

2. Love yourself: you know that quote “nobody can love you until you love yourself”(unknown).. Very true!! No guy in this world can love you until you love yourself.

3. Have something going for yourself: education is huge in our Nigerian culture. If you are not educated, at least have something going for yourself.

4. Be yourself: This may sound like a cliché but it is absolutely true. Be the best you and you will attract the right man.

Honestly ladies, there’s no right formula to get a Nigerian man (or any guy). My suggestion is to stop trying and be yourself. Guys are ok with a smile to let them know you are interested. Know your worth ladies and lets these guys chase after you. You are worth the chase!!!

This is what an African look like..

Some Americans say to me: “You don’t look African”

My reply: What does an African look like?

Their reply: I don’t know not like you.

My reply: Well, this is what an African look like..

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For Single Christian Ladies: Chase God and Look Good

Chase God and look Good is a simple way to combat desperation while putting things under perspective.

Chasing God is very important for us as singles because only God can complete us. You know what the bible says “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added” Matthew 6:33. As a single the type of guy I want is also chasing God so we will find each other in Christ. God doesn’t want us to idolize relationships, marriages.. He wants us, complete in Him first. Chasing God will also help us to focus our relationship with Christ instead of looking for our significant other. Don’t forget that “every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord” James 1:17. A good man is a gift from God. It makes more sense to chase the giver of good gifts.

Why should you look good? Men are visual creatures. The same way you want your man to look fly when you meet him. You should strive to look fly to impress him too. One of the greatest lie I told myself as a single was “I wanted a guy who loved my inner beauty and not my outward.” So for years, I didn’t wear makeup (Yikes!!). My non-wearing make-up days didn’t go so well. The reality is that guys are visual creatures. I didn’t have a lot of guys in my social circle yet I wanted a guy to like my inner beauty first. How was that going to happen?

Chasing God and looking good puts us in a win-win situation because no man in this world can complete us except Christ. The looking good is so that your husband doesn’t bleed the “blood of Jesus” when God points you out to him. There’s no need to act desperate as we chase God the husband will come.

Hebrew 12:2-“Looking onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”

A letter from Mr. Cabin Biscuit to Mr. Oreo,

Dear Mr. Oreo,

Cabin BiscuitsHow you dey? I am just here showing Mrs. Cabin biscuit this your video “Mr. Oreo.” I saw the video too.. It was nice sha, but mmm.. You already know what this letter is about so I am not going to front. I understand the message you were trying to convey, but couldn’t you do it and still call your video “Mr. Cabin biscuit.” Wait, why are you black on the outside and white on this inside? Wettin dey worry you?

No, I am not mad o, but I am just saying. Do you know how many Nigerian boarding students I have saved from starvation? Do you know that Nigerian boarding students cry to their parents if they don’t add me to their provisions? Do you know how many Nigerian families have me with groundnuts?

Don’t get me started.. I have a question for you Mr. Oreo. What has Oreo done for you that Mr. and Mrs. Cabin hasn’t done for you over the years? I have the right to vex. This is not fair now. I am here trying to save Nigeria from starvation and you are over there singing about Oreos. My friend you no get respect? Which kind wahala be this? I feel underappreciated in this country. This thing you do.. It no good o!!

I have talked to Mrs. Cabin biscuit about the consequences of your actions. Mrs. Cabin biscuit was even pleading with me to pardon you o(can you imagine?) I told her “forget that thing.” From the Cabin family to your family, we are banning you and your future generations from our savory taste. Don’t beg me; you have insulted me and my family. No Cabin Biscuit for you Mr. Oreoand your future generations. Look at Mrs. Cabin biscuit begging me. I think Mrs. Cabin biscuit is begging me because of your muscles. She said the Cabin family helped you gain all that muscle. Again.. You are BANNED from the Cabin Biscuits family.

I don’t understand why Nigerians are quick to promote foreigners before their own. Nigerians, it’s time to love yourselves. Mr. Oreo we are banning until you make a song about us na. My friend, you better respect yourself o.

Sincerely,
Mr. Cabin Biscuit and the Cabin Family

FYI: My family will be dancing to Kukere as we wait for our video. We expect our video by December 2015