Imagine going to the mall and the cutest pair of shoes starts calling you. You stare at the item for several minutes before ignoring the urge. In life, we have to prioritize. A cute pair of shoes versus your light bill. You want the shoes but you need to pay your light bill.
I remember going shopping with my dad at a young age. In the store, I was like “dad, I want this, I want that”.. He got me nothing. Why didn’t he? My father understood the importance of teaching me discipline and self control at a young age. Even if my dad could afford it, he wouldn’t get it except it was necessary.
Same thing with God..
With God.. We are like God, I want to be married..have kids, big house..this and that, but then we neglect the fact that we need God more than anything and anyone in this world.
Matt 6:33 “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you”
I am not saying seek God to get what you want. I am saying that we have to prioritize in our relationship with God. We want plenty of stuff from God for ourselves and he is not complaining but we NEED GOD. We need to stop focusing on what we want in our relationship with God and start focusing on what we need: God!
This was the question I asked my 12yrs old self when I started attending middle school in the United States.
I was different..(very different. In fact, different is an understatement).
I was flesh out of boarding school in Nigeria that means my hair was short (very short, In fact I could pass for a guy). The Boarding school I attended in Nigeria, every student is required to cut off their hair because they didn’t want us to occupy our time with hair.
My hair was very short, I had this thick African accent (some of my peers thought I was Jamaican). Some thought my accent was kool but some didn’t really know how to accept me maybe cos I was completely different from them.
Ironically, the black kids were the worse.. Most of my bullies were black kids.
Why are people who look like me mean to me?
I expected the white kids to be the bullies cos I was completely different from them.
My very own ppl bullied me.
The only difference between me and the black kids in my school was my thick accent, short hair and weird clothes. I was similar to them but why didn’t they accept me?
Coming to an unknown country, I was already culturally shocked.
But having people who looked like me bully and reject me was a hard thing for my 12 yrs old self to handle.
The white kids accepted me but don’t catch me between two white kids together that means I’d be ignored as if I wasn’t even there.
I wasn’t only bullied by one race, I was bullied by two races.
The white kids only accepted me when none of their other white friends were around
or when they fully accepted me, they told me, I couldn’t be invited to their sleep over parties because their parents were racist.
Mind you, I grew up in a country where everybody is literally BLACK.
Race was never a problem for me.
I never saw my race as a problem until I came to the States.
Certainly, I thought something was wrong with me..
why didn’t I just fit in?
In middle sch and high school.. I can’t really remember having a true black friend.
When I started wearing my hair in braids to school. The black girls were like “she thinks she is all that.” I have now figured out, they thought I was all that (jealous). Middle school was just a preparation for a full year of bullying in 9th grade. I don’t know what I did to these two black guys in my English class, they always had something to say. I couldn’t quite place why I was still a target after my hair grew, I didn’t wear weird clothes anymore. I guess, it didn’t matter that I looked like them.. cos I was still different.
To the white kids: I was black.
To the black kids: I was obviously different
I do admit I was different; however, after my weird clothes changed, my hair grew and my accent was not as thick. Why was I still different to black kids?
I should blame these kids for being so inconsiderate of my situation as this poor little African girl who just wanted to be accepted. No. The kids are not at fault. I am now grown ( I think, I am lol!). I think Parents contribute a lot to how kids think about their peers.
Parents if you constantly tell your kids to only talk to a certain race, class. etc.. you are opening your kids to an environment where they think something is wrong with people who don’t look like them or you don’t want them to associate. Why do you think bullying is still a problem in American schools? I am aware some bullies have issues at home but what about bullies whose parents tell them to only be friends with kids that look like them?
Kids are so innocent and pure. God didn’t create kids to see race. Allow a child and they will play with everybody. Sadly, parents start as early as elementary school to poison their kids minds to segregate. Racism/discrimination/bulling is still alive cos you are allowing it. How can you honestly teach your kids to hate or not associate with that race or class? I understand educating your child not to associate with kids who are trouble makers.
When you fill your kid’s head with hate at home don’t act surprised when he or she acts on it in school. The best place to teach tolerance is at home.
Black parents, your child doesn’t only have to deal with bullies from another race but also from your own race. I call it, double threat of Racism from kids of their own race. Bullying doesn’t discriminate but I do think black kids are easy targets.
Bullying is rampant in this society cos parents and society are telling little kids to stay away from people different from them for no particular reason.
Yes, there’s no right answer to this problem.
You want to stop bullying?!
Start by educating your children and lead by example.
Little kids are dying cos of bullying,
you need to start talking.
I know most of you wouldn’t do anything until your own child becomes a victim.