Ladies, he is a proud father of two. He is very hardworking, good father, and avid lover of politics. He is an engineer by training. He wants a God-fearing woman in the US or Canada. You must be ready to settle down in the next 6 months to 1 year. He is ready to make a lucky lady his wife. He loves to sing. He enjoys spending time outdoors with his children. He is a hopeless romantic. He is a very honest person.
If you are interested in Mr. Canada please send an email to email@example.com with Subject Line “Interested in Mr. Canada.” Include any specific questions you have for Mr. Canada in that email.
Please share this post with all your single lady friends in the US and Canada!!
What is ACE? Good question!! ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experience(s).
What I wish someone told my mother before she had children: “If you do not love life, do not create life.” (Youtube Comments Section)
“Bad parenting is a health crisis. If you have stable, well adjusted, loving parents. You don’t know how lucky you are…” (Youtube Comments Section)
“The worst thing about abusive parenting, is the parents many times don’t realize they’re abusive. This is why I believe every new parent should take a parenting class to understand child psychology.” (Youtube Comments Section).
I would encourage you to stop here to watch Dr. Nadine Burke Harris’ Ted Talk on youtube: How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime.
According to Dr. Harris: ACE is:
1. Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
2. Physical or emotional neglect
3. Parental mental illness, substance dependence, and incarceration
4. Parental Separation or divorce
5. Domestic violence
For every yes for any of the above you get a point on your ACE score.
My ACE score is a 7. I encourage to stop here to calculate your own ACE score.
My childhood background:
I am the fifth child of two US-trained professionals. My father is a retired college professor and my mother is a retired nurse. I hate that I am revealing my family like this, but I must because I want parents or future parents like yourselves to learn from my parents’ mistakes.
First, my parents both grew up in a Nigerian society that treats children as sub-humans who can be maltreated or man-handled anyhow by adults. Some of my sibling are childhood victims of extreme physical abuse. The Nigerian mentality is children must be beaten to shape or they will become insubordinate members of society, at least this is how I saw childhood in Nigeria. My father was extremely maltreated in his childhood. Unfortunately, he perpetrated the same pattern of abuse unto his children.
My paternal grandfather was a married man to three wives. My father’s mother died at a young age which left my father and his two siblings at the mercy of two stepmothers. One of my father’s stepmother attempted to poison him at a young age. A few years after my father lost his mother, he eventually lost his father. My father grew up into adulthood as an orphan. Thankfully, my father’s eldest brother stepped up, and provided for my father from a young age. My father’s childhood was turbulent. Which leads me to lesson number 1: Believe it or not, your childhood has an impact on your life. If you had a turbulent childhood, you must make a conscious decision that your children will not through the same experience, as you did. You MUST HEAL FROM YOUR Childhood. There is a saying that abuse people abuse other people. Hurt people hurt others. If you do not deal with the pain from your past or childhood, you may subject your children to the same pattern of abuse.
Interesting Plug: my father wrote a book about his life if you are interested in reading more. Hit me up! The book is not free! You must buy the book. Let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org
My mother’s childhood experiences are still unknown or not clear to me. My maternal grandmother was given up for marriage at an incredibly young age like 16 or 17. My grandmother became a mother at a young age. My mother does not talk about her past even to her own children. We rarely know what happened in her childhood. The lack of disclosure to her own children could be an indication that it was not all good. Or maybe it was, I do not know.
Turbulence plus turbulence = ACEs for the children (solely my opinion).
Future parents, you can change the trajectory of your children’s lives through self-awareness. You must be aware that your past informs your future. You must be proactive to change history. Because your mother or father abused you does not mean you have to follow the same trend for your own children. ACE is real.
Back to Dr. Burke Harris, there is a correlation between ACE score and health outcomes. The higher the ACE score, the worse the health outcome. “67% of the population have at least one ACE. 12.6% of the population have at least 4 or more ACEs” (Dr. Harris). The person with an ACE score of 4 or more has a relative risk of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease two and a half times that of someone with an ACE score of zero. For Depression, also 4 and half times, that of someone with an ACE score of zero. For suicidality, it was 12 times that of someone with an ACE score of zero. A person with an ACE of 7 or more has triple the lifetime risk of lung cancer and three and a half times the risk of ischemic heart disease. The number one killer in the United States (Dr. Harris).
Remember, I said my ACE score was a 7. According to Dr. Harris, I have triple the lifetime risk of lung cancer and three-and-a-half-times risk of ischemic heart disease. ACEs is not a joke, people.
How has ACEs influenced in my life? Well, you must wait for Part II to find out.
I just received your invite to your wedding scheduled for June 12, 2020.
Before I select “Yes” I want to highlight my terms and conditions:
My dress to your wedding will cost me: $220
My Hair: $200
My Makeup: $70
My Nails(pedi and mani): $75
My Shoes: $100
My Hotel(since your wedding is out of town for me): $300
My Money to Spray the bride: $300
My Time at your wedding: Priceless
My Total investment to celebrate your day is: $1,395 + priceless for my time.
Your wedding is not only a financial investment for you but also for me, as your guest.
No, you are not required to give me $1,395 to attend your wedding but you are to respectfully acknowledge my financial contribution to celebrate your union.
If you choose to divorce in the next 0 month to 5 years, I will send you an invoice to return 90% of my contribution to your day which is $1,255.50.
If you choose to divorce in the next 10-20 years, I will send you an invoice to return 80% of my contribution to your day which is $1,116.00.
If you choose to divorce in the next 20-30 years, I will send you an invoice to return 70% of my contribution to your day which is $976.50.
If you both comply with to the terms of this agreement, please can you both sign in the designated spaces below and return this letter back to me. I will rsvp “yes” as soon as you return this signed letter back to me.
May the candle of your love burn forever!!!
We are adults here if you know your marriage will not last for common 5 years. Please don’t invite me to your wedding. Nobody has time and money to waste.
For this post we will focus on “why some married Nigerian men cheat?”
Here is my answer…
Married Nigerian men cheat because they can find women to cheat with.
It takes two to tango!
This post is not only to bash married men who cheat but also women who clearly go for married men.
My sista, you know he is married. Na wetin?
Are all the single men on strike?
All single men cannot be broke.
There is something about a married man. He has a wife and children at home. He is responsible. I know it is exotic to have something we can’t have.
It does not matter what religion are you. You need to feel somehow messing around with a married man. If you don’t, you need serious prayers and fasting. You are possessed or something. It is abnormal to mess with a married man without your conscience worrying you.
Aunty, how would you feel if your husband cheated on you?
Guess what? If you sleep with someone’s husband, it will come back to you (Not cursing you, it is called Karma!).
You are sowing a seed for your husband to cheat on you.
Lets leave Married Men alone.
Some of you your boyfriend never cheated on you but as soon as you get married, he cheats.
You know why?
Because you sowed that seed in your single years.
If you do not know he is married, its one thing. My sista, please when you know.. LEAVE HIM ALONE!
To foreign ladies, your Nigerian married boo will NEVER LEAVE his wife for you.
Your Married Nigerian guy will never leave his wife for you.
Let’s stop this..
Some of you are messing around with married men and praying for God to send your husband.
Sister mi, there’s God o!
To all the married men or women who cheat on their spouse, guess what? One day, your spouse will cheat on you and the tables will turn. Keep playing games with God. God will soon give you the same dose of your medicine.
Don’t let COVID-19 put your love life in quarantine. 9jagirl4real is ready to cater to all your dating needs.
Let all your single friends know.
Rules: 1. You must be 21 or above to participate. 2. You must be willing to do a video call with one of our dating expert. 3. You must be wiling to answer all our experts questions. 4. Have recent photos of yourself ready (in the last 6 months). 5. You must be single (unmarried or divorced) to participate. 6. Like us facebook: 9jagirl4real
We will post information about our single candidates on our blog.
If you like what you read, email email@example.com with the Subject Line: Interested in Mr……
All our candidates will have code name on each entry.
You must email 9jagirl4real@gmail if you are interested in the candidate.
It’s been ages, I hope life is treating you kind. I had to step back from blogging to revamp this blog! I honestly started blogging for myself and truly want to go back to blogging for myself. Ah.. Selfish me!! Blogging is my therapy. A journal could serve the same purpose but I have to utilize this blog. Welcome back to my world!!! I pray you will be inspired. I pray God will always be glorified on 9jagirl4real!!
On a fateful Saturday when the Super Eagles were preparing to demolish the Black Stars. I was hopeful the Super Eagles would win the game until I saw the mad skills on the Ghanaian team.
Rufus Afropong stood out on the field. Rufus played for the Ghanaian team.
Let me officially introduce you to this star. Rufus is a semi-pro soccer player from Liberia. His father is from Ghana. For those who do not know Liberia was founded by freed black slaves who returned from America. Liberia, unlike other West African countries, has its own unique history.
I pray his story you will inspire you to chase your dreams.
9jagirl4real: Hello Rufus, thank you for taking out time from your business schedule to do this interview. I really appreciate this.
Rufus: You’re welcome.
9jagirl4real: Who is Rufus?
Rufus: I was born in Liberia. I went High School in Liberia. During the (civil) war, we moved to Sierra Leone and came back to Liberia after the war. Finished my high school in Liberia. Attended a University in Liberia. My parents decided to send me to the States for college. Got accepted to a school in West Virginia. Left this university because the school lost their accreditation. The coach in West Virginia introduced me to a coach in South Carolina. Played soccer for this school for 4 years and graduated.
9jagirl4real: When did your love for soccer start?
Rufus: I started from a young age. My mother loves soccer. She bought me a soccer ball. Soccer got serious when I graduated from High School. I made the club team (premiere) in Liberia. My mother was the main force behind everything. My father wanted me to be more focused on school. He didn’t change his mind until when the school wrote him and told him how me playing soccer was bringing more students to the school. My father called me and told me to also focus on soccer.
9jagirl4real: Are you pleased with this sport that you chose?
Rufus: My mother wanted me to try a different sport at a young age because of my height. I tried basketball. I was told by the basketball coach then to stick to soccer. Soccer is hard and different. Your footwork must be good. You need to have endurance. You also need to be fit.
9jagirl4real: In Liberia, you call it “soccer” or “football”?
9jagirl4real: What is the major language in Liberia?
Rufus: We speak English but different dialects of English.
9jagirl4real: What is the political and economic climate right now in Liberia?
Rufus: People are still recovering from the war ( two civil wars).
9jagirl4real: What is the difference between the Liberian culture and American culture?
Rufus: The people in American are more independent while Liberia is more like family. American culture people don’t know themselves.
9jagirl4real: Does playing Fifa help you in the decision making when you play sport in real life?
Rufus: Yes, it helps you a little bit but not much. I don’t really play Fifa like that.
9jagirl4real: What do you want your legacy to be?
Rufus: I don’t want to leave a bad image for the kids. Kids are my focus. I am trying to help the kids in Liberia. I am supplying soccer game materials to keep their soccer dreams alive.
9jagirl4real: What does your faith mean to you as an athlete?
Rufus: It helps me to depend on God. I have seen God move in my life. Coming to the States and my college (ICU). I try to focus on God for everything. Every good thing that comes to me, I believe God did it. Whether good or bad, God knows the reason.
9jagirl4real: Tell me about workout schedule?
Rufus: I work out every day from Monday-Friday. 30min Cardio. Lifting weight. When I came to the States, I was skinny. I gained muscles when I came to the States. I made up my mind to go to the gym no matter how I feel.
9jagirl4real: What advice would you give your 16-year-old self?
Rufus: Be focused. Believe in yourself. Don’t listen to other people. Work towards your goals. Things will fall into place with time. Have Patience! Pay attention. At the right time, things will happen.
9jagirl4real: Ritual before a game?
Rufus: Listen to music. Sometimes gospel music, or R&B. I watch a movie. Do other things to distract me from the game.
9jagirl4real: What Keeps you up at night?
Rufus: Passion! I want to do things to make a difference in people’s lives.
I went to an all girls’ boarding school prior to my big move to the United States. Growing my hair in this school was forbidden, so I had to cut off my hair. Yes, you guess right. I came to America with little hair.
When I started middle school in America, she was born. Who? The white girl in me. We will call her, Ashley.
My first day at middle school, I was called “weird” because I didn’t look anything like Ashley. Ashley is the standard of beauty. She has straight hair. She is skinny and so white.
I was nothing like Ashley. The black girls at my middle school looked at me funny and laughed when I walked by because I was not Ashley. They were not Ashley either, but they were closer to Ashley than me. They had their hair relaxed. They were Ashley on the inside but black girls on the outside.
I saw Ashley everywhere, she literally followed me everywhere. I saw her on billboards. I saw her in the clothing store where I buy clothes. She was everywhere. She looked nothing like me. Even the clothes I buy were sewn with Ashley in mind. Most of the stores sell clothes to fit Ashley. I had to go to several stores to find clothes to fit my body type.
Even when I am watching tv. Ashley is in all the commercials. Ashley is winning. The white boys want her. The black boys want her. Everybody wants Ashley.
In American society, beauty is a monolith. The closer you are to Ashley the prettier you are. The farther away you are from Ashley, then you are less attractive. To appease this naive society, I had to look like Ashley.
One day, I came back to school and everything changed.
My hair changed and I was at least 10% closer to Ashley and for the first time, the black girls at my school wanted to talk to me. They wanted to be my friend. Don’t get me wrong? It’s not Ashley’s fault, she is beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with Ashley’s beauty.
Before the natural hair movement, no one would look at me if I had kinky hair but as soon I relax my hair, heads turn. We are told the lighter shade of us looks better (closer to Ashley). A straighter hair looks better (closer to Ashley).
The truth is white America doesn’t want to recognize the diversity in beauty. It’s one thing for white America to tell us we are not beautiful, it is more self-debilitating for us to believe this lie. If white America doesn’t promote us, we must promote ourselves. We must learn to compliment each other. Tell a natural sister, she looks beautiful every day.
Some black women are walking around with white images of themselves. When some of them look in the mirror, they compare themselves to Ashley. White America wants us to walk in the shadow of Ashley.
Some black men have bought into the lie which states black women are not beautiful. They have drunk the “kool-aid” as one of my professors call it.
Our black is beautiful. You don’t have to be white to be beautiful. Stop bleaching. Stop searching for validation from people who have been conditioned by white America to only see white beauty.
“There’s no standard in beauty, there’s diversity in beauty”-Amber Starks
“Prettiness is not the rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female.” – Erin Mckean
Father’s day is coming up!! My amazing father will be here for father’s day.
The best gift a woman can give her children is to pick a good man for her future children. I think it is not wise to be having unprotected sex with any man you wouldn’t be proud to give your children as a father.
Please avoid these types of guys when you want children:
1. A guy who is currently not taking care of his children from previous relationships
2. A guy who has no financial capital to provide for your child
3. A guy has a crazy baby’s mama he cannot control.
4. A male who is obviously sleeping around with every female he comes in contact with.
5. A guy who doesn’t want kids.
6. A guy who is not prepared to have a baby.
7. A guy who has a reckless lifestyle with no clear plans of where he is going with his life.
8. A guy who is not responsible for himself. He has no control over his finances. His mother or father pays for this upkeep.
9. He doesn’t have any long-term goals that include you. If you want to get married before kids. He has no goals of marrying you.
10. The guy who you know obviously doesn’t like you. If you like him and think you can convert him to like you after a child, think again!! If you like him and he doesn’t like you, you are only hurting yourself having a baby with him.
Think about the type of father you want to give your children. Give your children a man they can be proud of. Give them a father who will do them right all the days of their life. Give them a man who will fight for them.
The best gift you can give your future children is to pick a good man to be their father!!
To all great fathers out there.. God bless You for all you do!