Before You Invite Me to Your Wedding: Here are my Terms and Conditions…

Dear Mr. and Future Mrs. Adebanjo,

I hope this letter finds you well.

I just received your invite to your wedding scheduled for June 12, 2020. 

Before I select “Yes” I want to highlight my terms and conditions:  

My dress to your wedding will cost me: $220

My Hair: $200

My Makeup: $70

My Nails(pedi and mani): $75

My Shoes: $100

My Hotel(since your wedding is out of town for me): $300

Accessories: $100

Transportation:$100

My Money to Spray the bride: $300

My Time at your wedding: Priceless

My Total investment to celebrate your day is: $1,395 + priceless for my time.

Your wedding is not only a financial investment for you but also for me, as your guest.

No, you are not required to give me $1,395 to attend your wedding but you are to respectfully acknowledge my financial contribution to celebrate your union.

If you choose to divorce in the next 0 month to 5 years, I will send you an invoice to return 90% of my contribution to your day which is $1,255.50.

If you choose to divorce in the next 10-20 years, I will send you an invoice to return 80% of my contribution to your day which is $1,116.00.

If you choose to divorce in the next 20-30 years, I will send you an invoice to return 70% of my contribution to your day which is $976.50.

If you both comply with to the terms of this agreement, please can you both sign in the designated spaces below and return this letter back to me. I will rsvp “yes” as soon as you return this signed letter back to me.

May the candle of your love burn forever!!!

Sincerely,

9jagirl4real

We are adults here if you know your marriage will not last for common 5 years. Please don’t invite me to your wedding. Nobody has time and money to waste.

Why some Nigerian Men Cheat?

 For this post we will focus on “why some married Nigerian men cheat?”

Here is my answer…

Married Nigerian men cheat because they can find women to cheat with.

It takes two to tango!

This post is not only to bash married men who cheat but also women who clearly go for married men.

My sista, you know he is married. Na wetin?

Are all the single men on strike?

All single men cannot be broke.

There is something about a married man. He has a wife and children at home. He is responsible. I know it is exotic to have something we can’t have.

It does not matter what religion are you. You need to feel somehow messing around with a married man. If you don’t, you need serious prayers and fasting. You are possessed or something. It is abnormal to mess with a married man without your conscience worrying you.

Aunty, how would you feel if your husband cheated on you?

Guess what? If you sleep with someone’s husband, it will come back to you (Not cursing you, it is called Karma!).

You are sowing a seed for your husband to cheat on you.

Lets leave Married Men alone.

Some of you your boyfriend never cheated on you but as soon as you get married, he cheats.

You know why?

Because you sowed that seed in your single years.

If you do not know he is married, its one thing. My sista, please when you know.. LEAVE HIM ALONE!

To foreign ladies, your Nigerian married boo will NEVER LEAVE his wife for you.

Again..

Your Married Nigerian guy will never leave his wife for you.

Let’s stop this..

Some of you are messing around with married men and praying for God to send your husband.

Sister mi, there’s God o!

To all the married men or women who cheat on their spouse, guess what? One day, your spouse will cheat on you and the tables will turn. Keep playing games with God. God will soon give you the same dose of your medicine.

Selah..

With Love,

9jagirl4real

Stop Virgin Shaming…

H: Are you a virgin?
Y: Yes!

H: I think virgins are naïve about relationships.

WRONG!!! Some virgins are naïve about relationships.
Some people in general are naïve about relationships. 
Let us be real, people are naïve about a lot of things.

I know of a lady who literally had a guy ignore her messages because she stated she was a virgin.

There are lots of people who are not virgins and still clueless about relationships.

Society give virgins a break!

It is hard enough navigating a hyper-sexual world as a virgin, do not make it more painful.

Virgins UNITE!! You are not clueless about relationships.

People who assume virgins are clueless about relationships are clueless themselves.

Because you had sex with your boyfriend or whomever you choose does not automatically mean you know a lot about relationship.  

Sex does not equal relationship. There are some people who are sexually active without a commitment or relationship.

If you ask me, until you have been in a stable relationship for more than 5 years, you are still clueless about relationship.

If sex was the secret to a stable relationship, we would all be pros in relationship.

Iris from Married at First Sight

One can make the argument that virgins are clueless about sex because of their lack of experience. Knowing sex and having sex are two different things.

Morale of this post is: give Virgins a break!! Some virgins are clueless about sex and some virgins are not.


Dear Nigerian Girl, Be a REBEL.

Nigerian girl be a rebel

1. Rebel against the mindset that you need a man to take care of you.
If no one is hiring, start your own business. What can your hands do to bring you money?
Find it and do it!!

2. Rebel against the mindset that you MUST marry from your culture. I am a firm believer that love doesn’t discriminate. If he loves you and you love him, please do not give up fighting to be with the person you love.

3. Rebel against the mindset that you are supposed to manage in an abusive marriage.

4. Rebel against the mindset that you are second class citizen.

5. Rebel against the mindset that your self-worth is found in a relationship with a man. Find your self-worth outside your husband and marriage. Find your self-worth within.

Photo Credits: Google

Financial Intelligence for Nigerian Men Dating Nigerian Women

Hey Everyone,
This is my first vlog on 9jagirl4real.
This is something new I am starting on this blog!!

The blog is about helping people, I apologize for the mistake in the video.
Thanks for watching.
Please post or email me your comments.
God bless!!!

My Royal Nigerian Wedding..

RM 4Our invitation read “the parents …… and ….. request your presence at the joining of their children, Dr. Femi and Dr. Bola in holy matrimony.” Our wedding was the talk of town. Our wedding announcements were all over the news, blogs, and Nigerian websites. The single ladies envied me and gossiped about me in their domestic corners. Our guests were invited from all over the world. Our traditional wedding (cultural West-African) took place in a sophisticated island for the elites in Lagos, Nigeria. All six of my wedding planners were on stand-by making sure I was pleased on my dream day. Assorted wines were imported from France; even the goats killed for the occasion got a respectful death.

My husband is a US-trained brain surgeon. He is brilliantly sought after by the best of the best. He is naturally quiet in nature, but the grandeur of this day blew him away. Our guests were all given a uniform attire to grace our day in style. It was very amusing seeing our white friends in our traditional African attire. Our photographers, bloggers, and videographers were all imported from aboard. Presidents, Princes, and Princesses from different African countries honored our invitation. The best chefs and cooks served our eloquent dishes and Nigerian delicacies.

This is the wedding of my dream and I am not happy. The man I wanted was in his house drowning in his tears. I can’t stand the mere sight of him crying. I pleaded with him to understand. He cried, “What should I understand? Bola, I have dated you for six years and you are about to marry somebody else!! Why is this happening to me? I did not touch you from the very beginning because I wanted to marry..” (sobbing). We both cried and held each other. In my tears, I saw myself holding the man of my dreams while wearing another man’s engagement ring. My life became complicated.

Suku is a self-made millionaire with no college degree. My parents told me that they don’t want to associate themselves with an illiterate. I told them, he is not an illiterate, he is a millionaire. My father told me, “I am not interested in illiterate money.” For three years I pleaded with my parents to allow me to marry the man I loved, they refused. One precious day my mother blatantly scorned me about Suku saying she didn’t marry an illiterate and that only over her dead body would she allow me marry my love.

All Suku and I know to do these days is to hold each other and cry. He finally told me that he loved me so much that he will allow me to honor my parent’s wishes. I begged him not to give up on our love, he said, he wasn’t but he couldn’t watch me wait forever for an answer that will never come. We both cried for weeks when I told him that my parents agreed to Dr. Femi’s proposal to me. Dr. Femi is a great man with wonderful attributes; I already gave my heart to someone else. That guy my parents call an “illiterate” is the man of my dreams. He doesn’t have a college degree; he worked hard for every cent of his money. He built a multi-million naira business from scratch as an orphan.

This part is for my Nigerian ladies, who like me, are manipulated by their Nigerian parents to marry people they don’t want to marry. Don’t allow your Nigerian parents make the most important life decision for you. After the guests leave, the music stops, you take off your wedding dress, and marriage begins!! Life is too short to live with regrets. Make your own decisions, and take responsibility for the negative outcomes of your decisions. Your parents will one day die and leave you with your husband and you will have to figure it out. Don’t marry for status or to please anyone. I am not saying don’t listen to your parents, I am saying make your own decision and don’t let your parents make it for you. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.

Take your time and choose accordingly!!!

My marriage with Dr. Femi didn’t last.  The size of the love matters more than the size of the wedding. Money CAN’T buy happiness. Status CAN’T buy happiness.

I am back in the arms of the man of my dreams. I choose love. I choose Suku!

Respectfully yours,

Bola.

Edited by: Kelli Busbee

Please share this post to all your single Nigerian lady friends and like us on facebook!

Your Proverbs 31 someone..

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Photo Credits: Google

Ladies, the same for you.

My Relationship with Mr. J.

I start my relationship series this week. There’s so much. I have been blessed to talk to amazing guys during the course of my life. I will share my experiences with these guys. I hope someone will learn from my mistakes and you will be encouraged in your journey to find love.

My Relationship Series Starts with Mr. J.
Since when I was young, I knew him. I got serious with him seven years ago. He’s a sweet person, everything I want in a guy. He’s thoughtful, down-to-earth, awesome, all that good stuff.
I can’t imagine my life w/o him. I talk and sing to him every day, as I read his love letters. He’s the only reason why I love life, I mean he makes it more interesting. I know when am down and call him up, he’s always there to comfort.
The cool thing about him is that my parents brought us together. Sometimes am selfish and think about myself instead of him. He never reminds me of my past failures in our relationship; forgives all the time and moves on.
I can’t wait to spend seven years in our marriage feast. All my brothers’ and sisters know him. Men, am too lucky to be in a relationship with a man that owns the whole world.
I didn’t struggle to make him love me; he already did even before I got into this relationship. Although I don’t see him I can always feel his presence around me.
Shout out to Mr. J!!!!

The 21st century Love story of Ruth and Boaz: How Ruth got a Rich man?

Introducing Ruth..

Ruth is Naomi’s daughter- in- law and now Mrs. Boaz. She is famous for her love story with her husband, Boaz. It’s a very unique story.

9jagirl4real: Thank you Ruth for choosing to do this web interview with me. I am honored to have you talk to me outside your busy schedule.

Ruth: Thank you so much for having me. I always feel honored to share my story with the world.

9jagirl4real: Let’s get right in then…

Ruth: Sure..

9jagirl4real: You know your story is very unique story because you married a rich man. A lot of women in my country, Nigeria want to marry politicians because they are rich. What is the secret in getting a rich man?

Ruth: Work! Face God’s business and God will bring the man. After my ex-husband died, I moved from New York to Florida with my mother-in-law. I was also going through grief missing my ex-husband, but I had to get myself together and went back to work. I prayed with my mother-in-law and I left with God’s favor.  So ladies, face God’s work. Whatever God gives you to do at the time.

9jagirl4real: You are saying you got your husband by working. What type of work? A lot of women nowadays are working very hard by wearing flashlights (mini skirts, shorts, fake breasts, boobs) So explain what you mean by work.

Ruth: Work as in I got a job. Do something. Have something going for yourself. Do you think Boaz would have noticed me if I wasn’t working?   I concentrated on the job I was doing and I did it wholeheartedly for God.  Boaz noticing me was nothing of my doing either. It was God’s favor on my life. When you are about God’s business, he will favor you.

9jagirl4real: Wow.. Ruth is preaching on my blog!! It was an honor having you here. Thank you so much. Greet your husband, and mother-in-law for me.

Ruth: Thanks!!

9jagirl4real: What can you learn from the love story of Ruth and Boaz? Ruth wasn’t lazy. She was about God’s business and God gave her husband. Instead of spending your time looking for a rich husband, spend your time and face God’s business or whatever God puts in your hands to do. Do something!! Let’s be real, no man of God wants a lazy woman. Use this time to add value to yourself inside and outside. Your blessing doesn’t necessarily have to be a rich man. If you desperately want a rich man, no problem, you also need to be a rich woman. Let’s be fair.

Till next time.. This is 9jagirl4real!!!