Dear Nigerian Girl, Be a REBEL.

Nigerian girl be a rebel

1. Rebel against the mindset that you need a man to take care of you.
If no one is hiring, start your own business. What can your hands do to bring you money?
Find it and do it!!

2. Rebel against the mindset that you MUST marry from your culture. I am a firm believer that love doesn’t discriminate. If he loves you and you love him, please do not give up fighting to be with the person you love.

3. Rebel against the mindset that you are supposed to manage in an abusive marriage.

4. Rebel against the mindset that you are second class citizen.

5. Rebel against the mindset that your self-worth is found in a relationship with a man. Find your self-worth outside your husband and marriage. Find your self-worth within.

Photo Credits: Google

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African Proverbs about Love..

Afrolove

1. Falling in love is easy, staying in love is the hustle. (- Africa)

2. It is better to be loved than feared. (- Sierra Leone)

3. One doesn’t love another if one doesn’t accept anything from her. (- Chad, Niger, Nigeria- Kanuri/Bornu)

4. Love doesn’t listen to rumors.

5. Love is like a baby: it needs to be treated tenderly. (- Congo)

6. If a woman doesn’t love you, she calls you brother. (- Ivory CoastBaule)

7. People who love one another do not dwell on each other’s mistakes. (- Kenya- Gikuyu)

8. The house of a person we love is never far. (- Kenya- Gikuyu)

9. A letter from the heart can be read on the face. (- Kiswahili)

10. Love has to be shown by deeds, not words. (- Kiswahili)

11. Love doesn’t rely on physical features. (- Lesotho)

12. He who loves you; loves you with your dirt. (- Uganda- Ganda)

13. The way you got married isn’t the way you’ll get divorced. (- Haiti)

14. He who doesn’t like chattering women must stay a bachelor. (- Congo)

15. It is the habit that a child form at home, that follows them to their marriage. (- Nigeria)

16. If you marry a monkey for his wealth, the money goes and the monkey remains as is. (- Egypt)

17. Having beauty doesn’t mean understanding the perseverance of marriage. (- Africa)

18. If you do not travel, you will marry your own sister. (- Mozambique)

19. Marriage is like a groundnut: you have to crack them to see what is inside. (- Ghana- Akan)

20. The buttocks are like a married couple though there is constant friction between them; they will still love and live together. (- Africa)

21. He who marries a beauty marries trouble. (- Nigeria)

22. It is better to be married to an old lady than to remain unmarried. (- Uganda)

23. A woman who is not successful in her own marriage has no advice to give to her younger generations. (- Nigeria)

24. The man may be the head of the home but the wife is the heart. (- Kenya- Gikuyu)

25. He was entrapped by the evening, it has cost him his marriage. (- Bantu)

26. One who loves you, warns you. (- Uganda- Baganda)

27. Talking with one another is loving one another. (- Kenya)

For more African proverbs, please check out the below website.

Source

Image Source: Google

Marrying a Nigerian Man

Hey Everyone,
This is my second vlog on 9jagirl4real.
This is something new I am starting on this blog!!
Please click  to watch the video.

Thanks for watching.
Please post or email me your comments.
God bless!!!

Financial Intelligence for Nigerian Men Dating Nigerian Women

Hey Everyone,
This is my first vlog on 9jagirl4real.
This is something new I am starting on this blog!!

The blog is about helping people, I apologize for the mistake in the video.
Thanks for watching.
Please post or email me your comments.
God bless!!!

This Movie Changed my Life..

Favorite color.

PLAY

The room was dead silent as we were exchanging our vows and then she looked straight into my soul and said, “I will say ‘I do’ on one condition—you answer this question correctly.” My head started spinning. What was she doing? My whole family flew from Nigeria to come to this wedding. Even my professors, co-workers, classmates, and childhood friends were all here. My uncle, who hates to travel, was also present with his wife. In a blink of an eye, I saw myself acting in a Nigerian movie, but it felt real. Why am I an actor in this scary movie? This Nigerian movie was really happening in my life.

She asked, “what is my favorite color?” The million dollar question… I asked her whispering, “Baby, why are you asking me now? This is our wedding day..”  Of course, I didn’t know the answer so I started panicking on the inside. I looked at the bridesmaid’s dresses for a clue. The bridesmaids wore blue, so I answered, “Baby, it’s blue. Can we go on?” She stood for about a minute looking at me with tears rolling down her face and she turned to the maid of honor and gave her the flowers. She picked up her dress and ran. As she was running, I heard a lady say, “Gurl, he African… You better run, girl!!”

If this was a real Nigerian movie, the producers would add a dramatic Nigerian music here to compliment the shocking turn of events. I had no idea my fiancé was a track star. She ran so fast out of that church. My eyes in tears, I became Usain Bolt and ran after her. The church was in an uproar. Guests looked at each other confused.

I finally met up with my bride. I asked her what was going on. She said, “Baby.. you don’t know my favorite color.” I told her, “Baby, why did you wait till our wedding day to ask me?” She said, “Because I knew you would walk away if I said ‘no’ to your proposal.” Baby, I know you are under a lot of pressure to get married. Two months is not enough time to fully know a person. I really like you but I need time to get to know you fully and you know me as well.” My heart was burning in anger, disappointment, and anxiety. How did she expect me to march into a room filled with well-wishers only to tell them that there will be no wedding today? I spent a lot of money to help make this day happen. I look my baby in the eyes and it all made sense.

PAUSE

REWIND

Suli and I met in school. It was love at first sight, I liked her from the minute she said hello. It took her a while to catch the cupid arrow from me, though. I didn’t mind, I waited patiently as a “friend.” When we started dating, we were inseparable, we were like those romantic couples in American movies. We did everything together. Suli didn’t mind the idea of marriage. I spoke to her about marriage from day one that I neglected what she really wanted. I was so overwhelmed with my desires that I ignored her desires.

PLAY

We hugged each other and I told the MC to tell the audience that there will be no wedding today and they are free to eat and dance all night as their heart desires. Suli and I left hand-in-hand out of the wedding venue still in our wedding attires, we received several congratulations from strangers on our way to the car. We drove away still hand-in-hand.

FAST FORWARD

Two years later on a private stage with a few friends, a minister with some family members and she asked me, “What is my favorite color?” I answered, “You don’t have a favorite color, you silly girl.” She said, “I do,” and kissed me.

THE END

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!

Morale of the Story: Nigerian guys stop proposing after the first date. What does she want? The world doesn’t evolve around you. Invest the time to know the person you are marrying.

Edited by: Kelli Busbee

 

My Royal Nigerian Wedding..

RM 4Our invitation read “the parents …… and ….. request your presence at the joining of their children, Dr. Femi and Dr. Bola in holy matrimony.” Our wedding was the talk of town. Our wedding announcements were all over the news, blogs, and Nigerian websites. The single ladies envied me and gossiped about me in their domestic corners. Our guests were invited from all over the world. Our traditional wedding (cultural West-African) took place in a sophisticated island for the elites in Lagos, Nigeria. All six of my wedding planners were on stand-by making sure I was pleased on my dream day. Assorted wines were imported from France; even the goats killed for the occasion got a respectful death.

My husband is a US-trained brain surgeon. He is brilliantly sought after by the best of the best. He is naturally quiet in nature, but the grandeur of this day blew him away. Our guests were all given a uniform attire to grace our day in style. It was very amusing seeing our white friends in our traditional African attire. Our photographers, bloggers, and videographers were all imported from aboard. Presidents, Princes, and Princesses from different African countries honored our invitation. The best chefs and cooks served our eloquent dishes and Nigerian delicacies.

This is the wedding of my dream and I am not happy. The man I wanted was in his house drowning in his tears. I can’t stand the mere sight of him crying. I pleaded with him to understand. He cried, “What should I understand? Bola, I have dated you for six years and you are about to marry somebody else!! Why is this happening to me? I did not touch you from the very beginning because I wanted to marry..” (sobbing). We both cried and held each other. In my tears, I saw myself holding the man of my dreams while wearing another man’s engagement ring. My life became complicated.

Suku is a self-made millionaire with no college degree. My parents told me that they don’t want to associate themselves with an illiterate. I told them, he is not an illiterate, he is a millionaire. My father told me, “I am not interested in illiterate money.” For three years I pleaded with my parents to allow me to marry the man I loved, they refused. One precious day my mother blatantly scorned me about Suku saying she didn’t marry an illiterate and that only over her dead body would she allow me marry my love.

All Suku and I know to do these days is to hold each other and cry. He finally told me that he loved me so much that he will allow me to honor my parent’s wishes. I begged him not to give up on our love, he said, he wasn’t but he couldn’t watch me wait forever for an answer that will never come. We both cried for weeks when I told him that my parents agreed to Dr. Femi’s proposal to me. Dr. Femi is a great man with wonderful attributes; I already gave my heart to someone else. That guy my parents call an “illiterate” is the man of my dreams. He doesn’t have a college degree; he worked hard for every cent of his money. He built a multi-million naira business from scratch as an orphan.

This part is for my Nigerian ladies, who like me, are manipulated by their Nigerian parents to marry people they don’t want to marry. Don’t allow your Nigerian parents make the most important life decision for you. After the guests leave, the music stops, you take off your wedding dress, and marriage begins!! Life is too short to live with regrets. Make your own decisions, and take responsibility for the negative outcomes of your decisions. Your parents will one day die and leave you with your husband and you will have to figure it out. Don’t marry for status or to please anyone. I am not saying don’t listen to your parents, I am saying make your own decision and don’t let your parents make it for you. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.

Take your time and choose accordingly!!!

My marriage with Dr. Femi didn’t last.  The size of the love matters more than the size of the wedding. Money CAN’T buy happiness. Status CAN’T buy happiness.

I am back in the arms of the man of my dreams. I choose love. I choose Suku!

Respectfully yours,

Bola.

Edited by: Kelli Busbee

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