The Fantasy of love and the reality of Marriage..

Tiwa Savage

From a young age, I have always known I would marry for love and nothing else.
I have grown to discover that is not enough.  I also have to use my head.
The reality is the heart will always want what it wants at all cost logical or illogical.

Be WISE!
Nowadays, love is not enough.
See your potential mate through the eyes of your future children, what would they say?
The person you choose could become the mother or father of your children.
Is this person the kind of mother or father you want for your children?
A wise man once said, “the spouse you choose is a reflection of your intelligence.”

Forget about their looks, money for once. Will your love stand the test of time?
Is your relationship built on a good foundation?
Will the strength of your love survive the test in marriage?
Whether you choose to stay or leave your marriage will affect your children.

Let’s make this practical.
You convinced a woman to marry you because you have money. Why are you surprise she left now that the money is gone? Whose fault is it?
Don’t blindly marry anybody. The reality of divorce is too real.

Know what you naturally like. Don’t settle for less and think you can change anybody when you enter marriage.
Don’t ignore anything that bothers you in the pre-marital stage thinking that marriage will solve it.
Marriage magnifies your problems.
Seek counsel from people in successful marriages.
Marry someone who genuinely loves you and you also love.

Life will test your marriage.
Equip your relationships with all the necessary tools you need to succeed in your marriage, you owe your children that much.

Take your time to build a solid foundation, so your love can stand the test of time.

Photo Credit: Google

 

My friendship with Mr. B..

Who is Mr. B? Mr. B is a childhood friend who attended the same after church service I attended when we were younger in Nigeria. He is now grown, smart and very fine in the United Kingdom. He doesn’t remember me from his childhood, so we had to get to know each other all over again.

Mr. B and I talked for a few months until something interesting happened. When Mr. B talked to me, I honestly thought he was talking to me as a friend with no strings attached until Mr. C came into the picture. Mr. C is his friend in the States. Mr. C started throwing games my way and Mr. B became jealous, I could tell. Mr. B didn’t know I was already interested in him, I wish he had said things in time. It was after Mr. C came into the picture was when I knew how Mr. B really felt. At the time I was very angry about the situation because I was put in this very weird situation.

Regardless, I have a lot of respect for Mr. B. If Mr. C didn’t come into the picture, I would still be talking to Mr. B as if nothing serious would happen. He later told me that his goal was to pursue friendship first. I absolutely respect that. Most guys who come into my life, don’t value friendship anymore. There are somethings about Mr. B I don’t like hey, nobody is perfect.  This guy rocks!!!  He could be playing me though, who knows?!

“As for life every turn of it has it reasons, and once we are in God’s calendar what was meant to be would always be”-Mr. B
Note to Mr. B:
None of this is relevant.

My Relationship with Mr. A..

Who knew my Mr. A would grow up to be so attractive with the cutest British accent?! He is so great looking now. That accent doesn’t help either.

 Since when we were little, Mr. A had crush on me. I could tell but he didn’t say a thing. Fast forward 19 yrs later, he still remembers my birthday and he finally told me, he had a crush on me when we were little. He was very close with my immediate brother, who is only one year older than me. I remember him as this short guy with a big head lol!!

He did his undergrad in Kenya and his master’s in the UK. He is very well rounded with a great sense of humor. I wish the childhood crush never left. He is a great catch.

Note to Mr. A:
It’s sad we are world’s apart, you have a very special place in my heart.
You remembered my birthday for 19years without even seeing me. My siblings don’t remember my birthday.
You have a great memory or you were indirectly still holding on to me. Who knows?!!
We might be in different continents, I will never forget you forever.

Love,
9jagirl4real

My Relationship with Mr. J.

I start my relationship series this week. There’s so much. I have been blessed to talk to amazing guys during the course of my life. I will share my experiences with these guys. I hope someone will learn from my mistakes and you will be encouraged in your journey to find love.

My Relationship Series Starts with Mr. J.
Since when I was young, I knew him. I got serious with him seven years ago. He’s a sweet person, everything I want in a guy. He’s thoughtful, down-to-earth, awesome, all that good stuff.
I can’t imagine my life w/o him. I talk and sing to him every day, as I read his love letters. He’s the only reason why I love life, I mean he makes it more interesting. I know when am down and call him up, he’s always there to comfort.
The cool thing about him is that my parents brought us together. Sometimes am selfish and think about myself instead of him. He never reminds me of my past failures in our relationship; forgives all the time and moves on.
I can’t wait to spend seven years in our marriage feast. All my brothers’ and sisters know him. Men, am too lucky to be in a relationship with a man that owns the whole world.
I didn’t struggle to make him love me; he already did even before I got into this relationship. Although I don’t see him I can always feel his presence around me.
Shout out to Mr. J!!!!

African Fashion: WILD CHILD

These pictures are from a Kenyan blogger called WILD CHILD. Check her out..

Wild child 1Wild child 2Wild Child 3

Wild Child 4
Wild Child 5Wild Child 6To all Africans, who promote Africa in a positive light: God bless you!!
Click here to visit WILD CHILD’s blog!

Save Your KIDS!

snapshot (2)Prospective mothers and fathers, see your mate through the eyes of your child(ren).
Proactive parents plan ahead for their child(ren).
Your future children deserve the best mother and father.
Does your mate want kids? What type of mother or father will your mate be to your child(ren)?
What type of mother or father do you want for your kids?
Will your mate be a good mother or father to your child(ren)?
See your mate through the eyes of your children. Would they approve?
The person you choose to have children with will affect your child’s life positively or negatively.
If a man is not taking care of his other kids, why would you choose him to be your child’s father?
Think about the future of your children and choose accordingly.
She has a big booty but can she selflessly take care of a child.
All women are not mothers. Some women have other priorities.
Some women don’t want children same goes for men.

Don’t bring a child into this world to suffer.
Your child deserves the best mother and father.
Think about your decisions and evacuate how they will impact your children’s lives.
Save your kid(s) the heart ache and choose wisely.

Your child deserves the BEST!!!

Nigerian Men 101: How to capture a Nigerian Man’s Heart?

Ladies, I have answered a lot of your questions about Nigerian men.
It’s time to hear from the horse’s mouth
Check out this video as these guys answer this question.
I like this group of guys because they are a good representation of the types of Nigerian guys you will meet in the States.
They are smart, funny, educated, witty and very Nigerian.
Each guy brings a different perspective to the discussion which I love.
Check out the video.

Let me know what you think?
Email, comment or facebook me!!

1. This is Love, Nigerians..

Early this year, Rowden and Leizl decided to get married on July 8, 2014, Rowden’s 30th birthday. Together with their adorable 2-year-old daughter, they already had a perfect family.
Then a twist of fate, Rowden got diagnosed with stage IV liver cancer in late May. His last request was to marry his one true love. After 12hours of preparations, his dream was fulfilled. Unable to take him outside the hospital, we brought the church to him. It was like a heartbreaking fairytale. (Youtube Story Written by Hasset Go)

Our culture has trained us to marry for status, money, class and everything but love.
You are missing out if you don’t marry for love.
Love is not the absence of pain, struggle and problem.
Love is a commitment to stay no matter what.

Four quick steps on how to become a successful Nigerian artist..

  1. Get someone to help you produce a catchy Afro beat. It’s very easy. Watch some Afro beats videos to get inspired. The beat must be upbeat and catchy!!!

    2. Listen to the beats and write some words about a woman backyard or beauty. The words must have some repetitive African words. You can make something up. Nobody will know.. Make you sure you add words like “baby” “Girl” “shake am”

    3. Make up a catchy dance that goes with your beats. It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s just a dance; however, it must be unique.

    4. Get half naked girls with big behinds to dance in your video. This is must if you want to become a very popular Nigerian.

    You are 4 steps away from becoming a popular Nigerian Artist. Your name will be known all over the world.

    What are you waiting for? You are 4 steps away from stardom. You don’t believe me? Check out this video!!

    As you can see anybody can become a popular Artist.

It was YOU!!!

It was YOU…

A friend did something today that proved to me he loved me.
To some people it may seem minute but it meant the WORLD to me.
I thought about what he did and I almost tried.
This guy has been through the highs and the lows with me.
Instead of building you up, I broke you down because I was broken.
You are the friend I have been praying for years.
I don’t deserve friends like you in my life.
I’ve crippled our friendship with my insecurities yet you still stand by me.
You are my biggest fan.
You are the first person I call when someone breaks my heart.
You answer my calls at any time.
I don’t deserve you as friend.
You choose to stand by me with my flaws and all.
I pray I am as good a friend as you have been to me.
We are friend forever and nothing will ever come between us and our friendship.

I love you!!
I promise to love you with your flaws and all..
You are indeed my best friend.

We all need REAL friends! I am blessed to have one!