The Fantasy of love and the reality of Marriage..

Tiwa Savage

From a young age, I have always known I would marry for love and nothing else.
I have grown to discover that is not enough.  I also have to use my head.
The reality is the heart will always want what it wants at all cost logical or illogical.

Be WISE!
Nowadays, love is not enough.
See your potential mate through the eyes of your future children, what would they say?
The person you choose could become the mother or father of your children.
Is this person the kind of mother or father you want for your children?
A wise man once said, “the spouse you choose is a reflection of your intelligence.”

Forget about their looks, money for once. Will your love stand the test of time?
Is your relationship built on a good foundation?
Will the strength of your love survive the test in marriage?
Whether you choose to stay or leave your marriage will affect your children.

Let’s make this practical.
You convinced a woman to marry you because you have money. Why are you surprise she left now that the money is gone? Whose fault is it?
Don’t blindly marry anybody. The reality of divorce is too real.

Know what you naturally like. Don’t settle for less and think you can change anybody when you enter marriage.
Don’t ignore anything that bothers you in the pre-marital stage thinking that marriage will solve it.
Marriage magnifies your problems.
Seek counsel from people in successful marriages.
Marry someone who genuinely loves you and you also love.

Life will test your marriage.
Equip your relationships with all the necessary tools you need to succeed in your marriage, you owe your children that much.

Take your time to build a solid foundation, so your love can stand the test of time.

Photo Credit: Google

 

Save Your KIDS!

snapshot (2)Prospective mothers and fathers, see your mate through the eyes of your child(ren).
Proactive parents plan ahead for their child(ren).
Your future children deserve the best mother and father.
Does your mate want kids? What type of mother or father will your mate be to your child(ren)?
What type of mother or father do you want for your kids?
Will your mate be a good mother or father to your child(ren)?
See your mate through the eyes of your children. Would they approve?
The person you choose to have children with will affect your child’s life positively or negatively.
If a man is not taking care of his other kids, why would you choose him to be your child’s father?
Think about the future of your children and choose accordingly.
She has a big booty but can she selflessly take care of a child.
All women are not mothers. Some women have other priorities.
Some women don’t want children same goes for men.

Don’t bring a child into this world to suffer.
Your child deserves the best mother and father.
Think about your decisions and evacuate how they will impact your children’s lives.
Save your kid(s) the heart ache and choose wisely.

Your child deserves the BEST!!!

Nigerian Men 101: How to capture a Nigerian Man’s Heart?

Ladies, I have answered a lot of your questions about Nigerian men.
It’s time to hear from the horse’s mouth
Check out this video as these guys answer this question.
I like this group of guys because they are a good representation of the types of Nigerian guys you will meet in the States.
They are smart, funny, educated, witty and very Nigerian.
Each guy brings a different perspective to the discussion which I love.
Check out the video.

Let me know what you think?
Email, comment or facebook me!!

It was YOU!!!

It was YOU…

A friend did something today that proved to me he loved me.
To some people it may seem minute but it meant the WORLD to me.
I thought about what he did and I almost tried.
This guy has been through the highs and the lows with me.
Instead of building you up, I broke you down because I was broken.
You are the friend I have been praying for years.
I don’t deserve friends like you in my life.
I’ve crippled our friendship with my insecurities yet you still stand by me.
You are my biggest fan.
You are the first person I call when someone breaks my heart.
You answer my calls at any time.
I don’t deserve you as friend.
You choose to stand by me with my flaws and all.
I pray I am as good a friend as you have been to me.
We are friend forever and nothing will ever come between us and our friendship.

I love you!!
I promise to love you with your flaws and all..
You are indeed my best friend.

We all need REAL friends! I am blessed to have one!

Happy Independence Nigeria

It is easy to get lost in a society that has a system that works. I don’t have to deal with NEPA; I drive on roads that have traffic lights that work. America has a system that works for its society and citizens. With the comforts this country provides, I still want to return to Nigeria and its broken system.  Nigeria, you have my heart and first allegiance.

Nigeria is yet to find a system that works for its country. Like other countries, we must go through our fight to find our system. Greed has taken over politicians, our children are becoming orphans, wives and husbands are turning into widows. The pains of Boko Haram have turned our country upside down. All we want is a savior to deliver us from our ailments, but none can be found.  Regardless of all the problems that plague us as a country, I am hopeful that things will get better.

BETTER NIGERIANS MAKE A BETTER NIGERIA!!  It’s time to heal Nigeria.

Happy Independence Day!!!

My conversation with a 33 year old Akwa Ibom Millionaire..

Fine 3When I talk to people in Nigeria, they tell me “Your own is good because you are in America.”
Guess what? You can make it in Nigeria.
I spoke to a self-made millionaire yesterday. He is not a politician and he is lives in Akwa Ibom.
When his mates were chasing government jobs, he was working hard to start his business.
He told me yesterday, he now has 80 employees.
This guy wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
His father died in his early thirties. He had no rich uncles to give him money to start his business.
He was passionate about what he does and he worked hard to own his business.

He is nobody’s employee. He is a BOSS!
He said in his early stages of his business, he would pay his own way to speaking events without getting a dime.
There are people who wait for things to happen to them and there are people who make things happen.
Which one are you?
If you are making excuses for your present financial economic state, you are not serious about your future.
Go out there and make things happen for yourself.
If it is legal, go for it.
You are the master of your own destiny.
Anything is possible with God, perseverance, passion, and determination.
You can do it.
No excuses.

Naira SignYou know what troubles this guy now? He has a dilemma of choosing between Dubai and South Africa for his honeymoon.  That’s a good problem to have.

Stop making excuses.

You can SUCCEED in Nigeria!

Share this post with your friends and please Like 9jagirl4real on facebook.

Is God Real? Austin Answers..

Scientism never gave my life meaning. Being an Atheist led me to attempt suicide. I cursed the name of God and demonized Christians. When I spat at churches and disregarded purpose. I hated people and I hated myself. Christ saved me at the very moment I wanted to die. Christ saved me when I attempted to slit my wrists. Christ saved me by putting me into a specific apartment at a specific time with a specific man of God, Emem Akpanekong, during his specific prayer for God to give him someone who loved the Lord as much as he did. God stopped Emem’s prayer to demand that he talk to me about Christ.

I say all of this to make you understand who I was. Do not give up on someone who hates you for your belief. Do not give up on people who disregard purpose in this life. Do not give up on people who curse God and curse your life. I was that person long ago. But God always saw me as the person I am today. Redeemed by the blood and glorified by the Son.

Written by Austin Lucas

Austin would’ve died and forgotten but he is in Law School.
God is still in the business of changing lives.
He is knocking at the door of your life. Will you let him in?

 

The 21st century Love story of Ruth and Boaz: How Ruth got a Rich man?

Introducing Ruth..

Ruth is Naomi’s daughter- in- law and now Mrs. Boaz. She is famous for her love story with her husband, Boaz. It’s a very unique story.

9jagirl4real: Thank you Ruth for choosing to do this web interview with me. I am honored to have you talk to me outside your busy schedule.

Ruth: Thank you so much for having me. I always feel honored to share my story with the world.

9jagirl4real: Let’s get right in then…

Ruth: Sure..

9jagirl4real: You know your story is very unique story because you married a rich man. A lot of women in my country, Nigeria want to marry politicians because they are rich. What is the secret in getting a rich man?

Ruth: Work! Face God’s business and God will bring the man. After my ex-husband died, I moved from New York to Florida with my mother-in-law. I was also going through grief missing my ex-husband, but I had to get myself together and went back to work. I prayed with my mother-in-law and I left with God’s favor.  So ladies, face God’s work. Whatever God gives you to do at the time.

9jagirl4real: You are saying you got your husband by working. What type of work? A lot of women nowadays are working very hard by wearing flashlights (mini skirts, shorts, fake breasts, boobs) So explain what you mean by work.

Ruth: Work as in I got a job. Do something. Have something going for yourself. Do you think Boaz would have noticed me if I wasn’t working?   I concentrated on the job I was doing and I did it wholeheartedly for God.  Boaz noticing me was nothing of my doing either. It was God’s favor on my life. When you are about God’s business, he will favor you.

9jagirl4real: Wow.. Ruth is preaching on my blog!! It was an honor having you here. Thank you so much. Greet your husband, and mother-in-law for me.

Ruth: Thanks!!

9jagirl4real: What can you learn from the love story of Ruth and Boaz? Ruth wasn’t lazy. She was about God’s business and God gave her husband. Instead of spending your time looking for a rich husband, spend your time and face God’s business or whatever God puts in your hands to do. Do something!! Let’s be real, no man of God wants a lazy woman. Use this time to add value to yourself inside and outside. Your blessing doesn’t necessarily have to be a rich man. If you desperately want a rich man, no problem, you also need to be a rich woman. Let’s be fair.

Till next time.. This is 9jagirl4real!!!

A tribute to Charleston Shooting Victims..

Written by: Justin Anderson

No words can articulate how deeply saddened, outraged, appalled, and disgusted I am with the shooting massacre that took place at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, SC which is my home state. My prayers, thoughts, and support go out to all the victims and their families and loved ones! You know, being a Black man in this country, I often wonder how much has changed for my people since President Lincoln signed this so called, “Emancipation Proclamation” in 1863 that supposedly was the beginning of the liberation of the Black slaves.

When I take a look at what is happening to my fellow African-Americans: We are still being lynched and murder through the means of police brutality and white racist gun owners who often times are found not guilty, that is even if they get charged first. We make up approximately 12 percent of the American population but make up over 50% of the prison population. We are the poorest people financially as a whole in this country owning approximately around 1% percent of the nation’s wealth as a group. Then, we still have to face racial discrimination, prejudice, and profiling in all areas of people activity. Now we are being killed in our own churches by racists? We need to wake up Black community!!! Racism white supremacy has declared war on us, particularly the black man! We are being SLAUGHTERED by the masses now! How many more INNOCENT black lives are we going to lose to racism white supremacy? I am convinced it is safe nowhere in this country for black males now! Police brutality has gotten so bad, as a Black man, I know if I am ever just in the presences of a White police officer, I am in the middle of a life or death situation hands down. The question is what do we do about this genocide towards our community?

#BlacklivesMatter

#BlacklivesMatter

It is going to take more than just PRAYER my fellow African-Americans! That is why the Black church has become so ineffective now; too many of us are SO HEAVENLY MINDED that we are NO EARTHLY GOOD! The book of James in the Bible states faith without works is dead! We as black people need to come together spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, and most importantly financially and build our own BLACK economy! We need to have our own businesses, organizations, and institutions solely Black owned and operated! But in order to do that we will have to put aside all these petty differences we have with one another and work together as a team and see each other as allies: not enemies!

Then we will have the POWER and INFLUENCE to PUNISH those who even THINK about trying to harm us in any way! We can then ameliorate our lives of our people educationally, health wise, living condition wise, and politically! We need POWER in our community to protect ourselves and MAKE things happen in our favor! ‪#‎BLACKLIVESMATTER‬!!

What Africans want? Google answers..

Google is the most popular search engine in the world. Recently, google analyzed the most popular searches in every country in the world. Take a brief moment to try to guess what countries in Africa are searching for? The results are very interesting…..

Africa 3mapAfrica’s Google Search Map: Photo Credit from dailymail.uk
Africa searches..Africans care about realistic things like food, cows, houses, and building houses; however countries like Nigeria, Mauritania and Zambia are exceptions. Nigeria and Zambia care more about weddings and Mauritania care more about slaves(it doesn’t surprise me).

Click here to read the full article of other continents