The Fantasy of love and the reality of Marriage..

Tiwa Savage

From a young age, I have always known I would marry for love and nothing else.
I have grown to discover that is not enough.  I also have to use my head.
The reality is the heart will always want what it wants at all cost logical or illogical.

Be WISE!
Nowadays, love is not enough.
See your potential mate through the eyes of your future children, what would they say?
The person you choose could become the mother or father of your children.
Is this person the kind of mother or father you want for your children?
A wise man once said, “the spouse you choose is a reflection of your intelligence.”

Forget about their looks, money for once. Will your love stand the test of time?
Is your relationship built on a good foundation?
Will the strength of your love survive the test in marriage?
Whether you choose to stay or leave your marriage will affect your children.

Let’s make this practical.
You convinced a woman to marry you because you have money. Why are you surprise she left now that the money is gone? Whose fault is it?
Don’t blindly marry anybody. The reality of divorce is too real.

Know what you naturally like. Don’t settle for less and think you can change anybody when you enter marriage.
Don’t ignore anything that bothers you in the pre-marital stage thinking that marriage will solve it.
Marriage magnifies your problems.
Seek counsel from people in successful marriages.
Marry someone who genuinely loves you and you also love.

Life will test your marriage.
Equip your relationships with all the necessary tools you need to succeed in your marriage, you owe your children that much.

Take your time to build a solid foundation, so your love can stand the test of time.

Photo Credit: Google

 

Advertisements

1. This is Love, Nigerians..

Early this year, Rowden and Leizl decided to get married on July 8, 2014, Rowden’s 30th birthday. Together with their adorable 2-year-old daughter, they already had a perfect family.
Then a twist of fate, Rowden got diagnosed with stage IV liver cancer in late May. His last request was to marry his one true love. After 12hours of preparations, his dream was fulfilled. Unable to take him outside the hospital, we brought the church to him. It was like a heartbreaking fairytale. (Youtube Story Written by Hasset Go)

Our culture has trained us to marry for status, money, class and everything but love.
You are missing out if you don’t marry for love.
Love is not the absence of pain, struggle and problem.
Love is a commitment to stay no matter what.

The 21st century Love story of Ruth and Boaz: How Ruth got a Rich man?

Introducing Ruth..

Ruth is Naomi’s daughter- in- law and now Mrs. Boaz. She is famous for her love story with her husband, Boaz. It’s a very unique story.

9jagirl4real: Thank you Ruth for choosing to do this web interview with me. I am honored to have you talk to me outside your busy schedule.

Ruth: Thank you so much for having me. I always feel honored to share my story with the world.

9jagirl4real: Let’s get right in then…

Ruth: Sure..

9jagirl4real: You know your story is very unique story because you married a rich man. A lot of women in my country, Nigeria want to marry politicians because they are rich. What is the secret in getting a rich man?

Ruth: Work! Face God’s business and God will bring the man. After my ex-husband died, I moved from New York to Florida with my mother-in-law. I was also going through grief missing my ex-husband, but I had to get myself together and went back to work. I prayed with my mother-in-law and I left with God’s favor.  So ladies, face God’s work. Whatever God gives you to do at the time.

9jagirl4real: You are saying you got your husband by working. What type of work? A lot of women nowadays are working very hard by wearing flashlights (mini skirts, shorts, fake breasts, boobs) So explain what you mean by work.

Ruth: Work as in I got a job. Do something. Have something going for yourself. Do you think Boaz would have noticed me if I wasn’t working?   I concentrated on the job I was doing and I did it wholeheartedly for God.  Boaz noticing me was nothing of my doing either. It was God’s favor on my life. When you are about God’s business, he will favor you.

9jagirl4real: Wow.. Ruth is preaching on my blog!! It was an honor having you here. Thank you so much. Greet your husband, and mother-in-law for me.

Ruth: Thanks!!

9jagirl4real: What can you learn from the love story of Ruth and Boaz? Ruth wasn’t lazy. She was about God’s business and God gave her husband. Instead of spending your time looking for a rich husband, spend your time and face God’s business or whatever God puts in your hands to do. Do something!! Let’s be real, no man of God wants a lazy woman. Use this time to add value to yourself inside and outside. Your blessing doesn’t necessarily have to be a rich man. If you desperately want a rich man, no problem, you also need to be a rich woman. Let’s be fair.

Till next time.. This is 9jagirl4real!!!

Dear Mr. Someone,

Boy.. Nothing can stop my love for you.

I have conditioned my heart to only love you. I conditioned my thoughts to only think about you. I pray, I grow into the woman who will never disappoint you. I pray, I do you good all the days of my life. My heart beats for only God and you. You are the father of my future children. I can’t wait to meet you. I pray you love God more than me. I pray, we love God more than each other. I will close my eyes until God opens my eyes to you. I am ready for good and bad days with you. God first… Till we meet, I will wait for you!!!

The Bride Price Market: What is Your Price?

Nigerian women, there’s an invisible bride price market in our society.
8 out 10 Nigerian guys believe with the right price, they can get any girl in Nigeria.
If a man can buy you, you are an expensive Ferrari with baby-making capability, house-making capability, cooking capability, love-making capability and much more.

3 out of the 4 Nigerian guys I meet want to make money before they choose their wives.
One guy clearly told me that a lot of Nigerian girls will flock around when there is money, so he will choose who he really wants when he has money.

A lot of Nigerian women are belittling their value for common naira or dollars.
We have devalued our worth to mere $$$$.

YOU ARE PRICELESS..
You are too expensive for money to buy.
Don’t devalue your worth for anyone or anything. It is not worth it.

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband has trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Photo Credits: Photogenik Photo

True love is beautiful

Take a break from the norm: do something different this Valentine’s Day…

Businesses capitalize on special days to the point that it loses its luster.

"love should spur you with the feeling ike you can conquer the world"

“Your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.”-9jagirl4real

Valentine’s day is not about gifts: flowers, jewelry..etc.. Valentine’s day is a day to celebrate your relationship. There’s no universal way of celebrating Valentine’s day. Your relationship is different from other people’s relationship so your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.

Here are some 10 new ways you can spice up your Valentine’s day:

1. Love is priceless-Give each other a gift that money can’t buy

2.Be spontaneous by doing something different from your Valentine’s day tradition- if you always go out to eat, go out to a beautiful park in another city and have a picnic. Do something out the norm that will still bring meaning and satisfaction to your relationship.

3. Celebrate Valentine’s day every day 14th day of every month for the whole year or pick another date for your own valentine’s day.

4. Write each other secret love notes and let your partner find them in some unconventional places.

5. For married couples(because I don’t endorse premarital sex): have a quickie in a new spot.

6. If you can afford it: celebrate Valentine’s day in different country(Hint: An African Country).

7. Start a new relationship tradition.

8. Send your children an annoying Valentine’s day selfie.

9. Do something wild, crazy and still legal

10. Prank your kids for your amusement.

Where is my Gollibe?

Are you a single Nigerian guy? If yes, you most likely asked yourself this question after watching Flavour’s new music video. If you didn’t ask yourself this question, at least the question crossed your mind. Chai, be honest, na! I loved the message behind the video. It was brilliant and I personally think it’s one of Flavour’s best works; however, this video does not help single Nigerian ladies aboard.

I have lived in the States for 13 years now. 2 out of 3 Nigerian men I meet want to go back home to pick their wives. It is perfectly fine if you already had someone back at home. That’s a different story. Due to the influence of Nigerian movies, social media, and our old school Nigerian mentality these men feel like they have to go back home to find their wives.

                         New flash for Nigerian guys aboard: You can find Gollibe anywhere. 

Golibe

What is so special about Gollibe? She is innocent: simple, good-natured, kind and family oriented. Guys want Gollibe because of her inner beauty and wife qualities. Every guy deserves a Golibe. Most men can agree that they want a good natured girl.

If you are looking for a good natured girl, why would life geographically restrict the good girls from coming to the city? Good girls can be found anywhere. The idea that good girls can only be found in the village is a ludicrous thought. Ladies in the city should not be penalized for being in the city. More exposure doesn’t mean more venality. Bad girls are everywhere, the village is not exempted.

City ladies can be good as village ladies. Village girls can be equally bad. Even though Nigerian men are more inclined to look for Gollibe in the village, I implore you to use the same tactics you would use to find Gollibe in the village in the city and see if you wouldn’t be surprised. Give the ladies around you a sincere chance before you go searching in the village.

How do find your Golibe in the village? You ask your friends and family for recommendations. They give you who they recommend. You meet her. Hopefully, you observe and court her long enough to really know her. You don’t have any preconceived notions about her. You give her a fair chance. Why can’t you do the same for the ladies there in Yankee with you?

Don’t be intimidated by the independent Nigerian ladies aboard, you can find your Gollibe anywhere!!!