The Fantasy of love and the reality of Marriage..

Tiwa Savage

From a young age, I have always known I would marry for love and nothing else.
I have grown to discover that is not enough.  I also have to use my head.
The reality is the heart will always want what it wants at all cost logical or illogical.

Be WISE!
Nowadays, love is not enough.
See your potential mate through the eyes of your future children, what would they say?
The person you choose could become the mother or father of your children.
Is this person the kind of mother or father you want for your children?
A wise man once said, “the spouse you choose is a reflection of your intelligence.”

Forget about their looks, money for once. Will your love stand the test of time?
Is your relationship built on a good foundation?
Will the strength of your love survive the test in marriage?
Whether you choose to stay or leave your marriage will affect your children.

Let’s make this practical.
You convinced a woman to marry you because you have money. Why are you surprise she left now that the money is gone? Whose fault is it?
Don’t blindly marry anybody. The reality of divorce is too real.

Know what you naturally like. Don’t settle for less and think you can change anybody when you enter marriage.
Don’t ignore anything that bothers you in the pre-marital stage thinking that marriage will solve it.
Marriage magnifies your problems.
Seek counsel from people in successful marriages.
Marry someone who genuinely loves you and you also love.

Life will test your marriage.
Equip your relationships with all the necessary tools you need to succeed in your marriage, you owe your children that much.

Take your time to build a solid foundation, so your love can stand the test of time.

Photo Credit: Google

 

Nigerian Men 101: How to capture a Nigerian Man’s Heart?

Ladies, I have answered a lot of your questions about Nigerian men.
It’s time to hear from the horse’s mouth
Check out this video as these guys answer this question.
I like this group of guys because they are a good representation of the types of Nigerian guys you will meet in the States.
They are smart, funny, educated, witty and very Nigerian.
Each guy brings a different perspective to the discussion which I love.
Check out the video.

Let me know what you think?
Email, comment or facebook me!!

Only for Women with Good black men..

Ladies, when was the last time you appreciated your black man?
In a society where black men are perceived in a negative light, it is your responsibility to appreciate your good black man.
Our good black men need more accolades.
Our men are not all bad.
It is rough for our men out there; they have to deal with all types of prejudices, social injustices, racism and much more..
Honor your good black man!!
You don’t have to wait till his birthday to appreciate him.
Your man has a choice to stop providing for his family, but he wakes up every day to make sure his family is ok.
He needs to be appreciated.
Tell him what his presence means to you and your family.
Have the kids do something special to honor him.

Being a black man in America is not easy.
A black man has to work extra hard in environment that was designed to work against him.
The outside world has wolves ready to tear him down.
You have a good black man who takes care of you, his kids and household?
Please, give him the honor and respect, he deserves.

To good black men out there, who treat their women well, raise their kids and do the right thing: I SALUTE you!!

Appreciate your man

WHITE GIRLS in Nigeria

Before and AfterTo all the white girls in Nigeria and the future white girls wannabe’s, BEWARE!!
If you are going to bleach, get ready for these:

Dark gray spots: (All over the skin you are trying to bleach)

  • Skin cancer: (I hope you saved up money for chemotherapy. Buy a good wig because your hair will fall out as a side-effect to chemotherapy. If you don’t have money for chemotherapy then, good luck!!)
  • Acne
  • Swelling of the skin: (you want to walk around looking like a monster, go for it)
  • Thinning of the skin
  • Cataracts:  (clouds the lens in your eyes. Google it.)
  • Setting down of fat on face, chest, upper back and stomach: (get ready to gain more weight.)
  • Increase in appetite and weight gain
  • Osteoporosis: (it affects your bones.)
  • Neurological and kidney damage due to high level of mercury used in the creams- (No amount of attention is worth you losing your kidneys. Ladies, stop this nonsense.. Wake up from this madness, seriously! Stop with this stupidity.)
  • Psychiatric disorders: (depression- no matter how fair you look, you will never feel beautiful.)
  • Severe birth defects: (it could affect your future unborn children)
  • Asthma
  • Liver damage
    (http://www.indiaparenting.com/beauty/article)
  • Seeing all these negative consequences, do you think its still worth it bleaching your skin? Who told you were not good just the way you are? Newsflash: Nobody can tell you something, you didn’t already tell yourself. Bleaching is not the answer for an internal problem. Get a mental image of who are and fix that first. Fixing the outside comes with a price that will affect you for the rest of your life.Stop letting society define you, define yourself for ONCE.

    Truthfully, anything or guy that wants to subject you to these unnecessary health problems is not worth your time. LOVE YOURSELF. TELL YOURSELF, YOUR ARE BEAUTIFUL. SAY IT UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IT.

The 21st century Love story of Ruth and Boaz: How Ruth got a Rich man?

Introducing Ruth..

Ruth is Naomi’s daughter- in- law and now Mrs. Boaz. She is famous for her love story with her husband, Boaz. It’s a very unique story.

9jagirl4real: Thank you Ruth for choosing to do this web interview with me. I am honored to have you talk to me outside your busy schedule.

Ruth: Thank you so much for having me. I always feel honored to share my story with the world.

9jagirl4real: Let’s get right in then…

Ruth: Sure..

9jagirl4real: You know your story is very unique story because you married a rich man. A lot of women in my country, Nigeria want to marry politicians because they are rich. What is the secret in getting a rich man?

Ruth: Work! Face God’s business and God will bring the man. After my ex-husband died, I moved from New York to Florida with my mother-in-law. I was also going through grief missing my ex-husband, but I had to get myself together and went back to work. I prayed with my mother-in-law and I left with God’s favor.  So ladies, face God’s work. Whatever God gives you to do at the time.

9jagirl4real: You are saying you got your husband by working. What type of work? A lot of women nowadays are working very hard by wearing flashlights (mini skirts, shorts, fake breasts, boobs) So explain what you mean by work.

Ruth: Work as in I got a job. Do something. Have something going for yourself. Do you think Boaz would have noticed me if I wasn’t working?   I concentrated on the job I was doing and I did it wholeheartedly for God.  Boaz noticing me was nothing of my doing either. It was God’s favor on my life. When you are about God’s business, he will favor you.

9jagirl4real: Wow.. Ruth is preaching on my blog!! It was an honor having you here. Thank you so much. Greet your husband, and mother-in-law for me.

Ruth: Thanks!!

9jagirl4real: What can you learn from the love story of Ruth and Boaz? Ruth wasn’t lazy. She was about God’s business and God gave her husband. Instead of spending your time looking for a rich husband, spend your time and face God’s business or whatever God puts in your hands to do. Do something!! Let’s be real, no man of God wants a lazy woman. Use this time to add value to yourself inside and outside. Your blessing doesn’t necessarily have to be a rich man. If you desperately want a rich man, no problem, you also need to be a rich woman. Let’s be fair.

Till next time.. This is 9jagirl4real!!!

Graduating from Benedict College Burns…

editgradpic3One of my close friends graduated from Benedict College.
I was insulted by the venue of this graduation.
I don’t know whose idea it was to host a graduation in football field under 90 degree weather.
It was so hot; it felt like we were in an oven.
To make matters worse, the graduates were dressed in black robes sitting under the hot sun for hours.
Seriously, a lot of the guests were so hot that they had to miss watching the graduation.

Students don’t spend four years in college to get burnt on their graduation day.
The exposure to such extreme temperature under black robes is disrespectful to your students and their families.
For your next graduation, please think about the temperature and how it will affect your students on their big day.
Under the hot sun is the worst place to give long speeches and accolades.
Please be considerate of your students, their friends and families.

Congratulations to the class of 2015.

Military question: Are you a Virgin?

Military womanApparently in Indonesia, women have to pass a virginity test to join the military. According to this article, it is done because they want women who are physically and mentally stable. Some articles say these women have to be virgins for national security reasons. So countries who have non-virgins women in their military are posing a threat to their national security? Wow..

What about your men? Are your men virgins? Your women can be virgins all day, but what about your men? What are the men doing? Don’t they need the same mental stability? In fact, virgin military women are a threat to your national security. Let’s be real, most men desire virgins thus, a military full of virgins is a national security problem. Do you really think your military men can concentrate with a military full of virgin women? Come on now..

It takes a man to deflower a virgin.. Drops mic..

Click to read the full article.