My friendship with Mr. B..

Who is Mr. B? Mr. B is a childhood friend who attended the same after church service I attended when we were younger in Nigeria. He is now grown, smart and very fine in the United Kingdom. He doesn’t remember me from his childhood, so we had to get to know each other all over again.

Mr. B and I talked for a few months until something interesting happened. When Mr. B talked to me, I honestly thought he was talking to me as a friend with no strings attached until Mr. C came into the picture. Mr. C is his friend in the States. Mr. C started throwing games my way and Mr. B became jealous, I could tell. Mr. B didn’t know I was already interested in him, I wish he had said things in time. It was after Mr. C came into the picture was when I knew how Mr. B really felt. At the time I was very angry about the situation because I was put in this very weird situation.

Regardless, I have a lot of respect for Mr. B. If Mr. C didn’t come into the picture, I would still be talking to Mr. B as if nothing serious would happen. He later told me that his goal was to pursue friendship first. I absolutely respect that. Most guys who come into my life, don’t value friendship anymore. There are somethings about Mr. B I don’t like hey, nobody is perfect.  This guy rocks!!!  He could be playing me though, who knows?!

“As for life every turn of it has it reasons, and once we are in God’s calendar what was meant to be would always be”-Mr. B
Note to Mr. B:
None of this is relevant.

My Relationship with Mr. A..

Who knew my Mr. A would grow up to be so attractive with the cutest British accent?! He is so great looking now. That accent doesn’t help either.

 Since when we were little, Mr. A had crush on me. I could tell but he didn’t say a thing. Fast forward 19 yrs later, he still remembers my birthday and he finally told me, he had a crush on me when we were little. He was very close with my immediate brother, who is only one year older than me. I remember him as this short guy with a big head lol!!

He did his undergrad in Kenya and his master’s in the UK. He is very well rounded with a great sense of humor. I wish the childhood crush never left. He is a great catch.

Note to Mr. A:
It’s sad we are world’s apart, you have a very special place in my heart.
You remembered my birthday for 19years without even seeing me. My siblings don’t remember my birthday.
You have a great memory or you were indirectly still holding on to me. Who knows?!!
We might be in different continents, I will never forget you forever.

Love,
9jagirl4real

Save Your KIDS!

snapshot (2)Prospective mothers and fathers, see your mate through the eyes of your child(ren).
Proactive parents plan ahead for their child(ren).
Your future children deserve the best mother and father.
Does your mate want kids? What type of mother or father will your mate be to your child(ren)?
What type of mother or father do you want for your kids?
Will your mate be a good mother or father to your child(ren)?
See your mate through the eyes of your children. Would they approve?
The person you choose to have children with will affect your child’s life positively or negatively.
If a man is not taking care of his other kids, why would you choose him to be your child’s father?
Think about the future of your children and choose accordingly.
She has a big booty but can she selflessly take care of a child.
All women are not mothers. Some women have other priorities.
Some women don’t want children same goes for men.

Don’t bring a child into this world to suffer.
Your child deserves the best mother and father.
Think about your decisions and evacuate how they will impact your children’s lives.
Save your kid(s) the heart ache and choose wisely.

Your child deserves the BEST!!!

God bless the Broken Road..

God bless the Broken Road..

Recently, I find myself asking God “why?”
We serve an amazing God that even when negative things happen in our lives; he uses it for a greater good.

So when negative things happen in my life, I tell God “thank you for the broken road,” it’s through the broken road that I really understand God’s sovereignty.
The broken road tells me about myself and pulls me closer to God.
The broken road allows me to trust God’s plan and purpose for my life.
The broken road gives me a testimony to encourage others.

As Christians we are not immune to struggles, pain, tears and problems.
However, he promised he will never leave us nor forsake us.
I don’t complain about the broken road because it is part of the journey.
The broken road allows me to use my pain to help others.

Thank God for the broken Road!!!!

What does the broken road mean to you?

Coming to America 101 for Nigerians..

Coming to AmericaAfter 14 years in America, here’s my advice to my fellow Nigerians migrating to the United States of America. My advice is solely from my experience. This is not to negate the fact that your experiences might be different from mine.

1. Smile: Smiling is huge in the American culture. I remember a lot of Americans telling me that they thought I was “mean”(rude person) because I didn’t smile. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, smile because it shows that you are friendly.

2. If your name is hard to pronounce, be prepared for people to ask you if you have a nickname. I thought my name was simple until I came to the States. I had to teach a lot of Americans on the right way to pronounce my name. They asked me for a nickname, I say “no.” I hate people asking me for a nickname because it seemed like I was changing my name to fit their inability to pronounce my name. You can give them a nickname, that’s your call.

3. Be prepared to educate people on Africa: it depends on the types of people you meet. A lot of people are curious about Africans and Africa, so expect a lot of questions. Brush up on your African geography, history and be prepared to answer any questions. You will get intelligent questions as well, nothing tedious. Get ready. Don’t be surprised if somebody asks you if you have Ebola.

4. If you want attention, wear your African attire: you wear African attire like nothing back at home. Over here, people will look at you except you wear it in a place where they are familiar with African attires. You will get a lot of compliments for your African attires. Some Americans are intrigued by our African attires.

5. You have an accent-After 14 years in the States; Americans can still hear my accent. Americans will ask you a lot of questions about your accent.

6. If your friends invite you to the movies or somewhere that requires money. Don’t assume that because they invited you that there are responsible for paying. You are responsible for paying except they specifically tell you they will pay for you. If you don’t have money, let them know.

7.You can call everyone by their first names here, except for your teachers and boss. The whole Aunty and Uncle still apply for Nigerian adults here(at least for me).

Welcome to America!!! Buckle up, work hard, study hard and don’t forget to make Nigeria proud. Wink!!

Any questions? Please comment below or email me: 9jagirl4real@gmail.com

It’s not a woman’s job to find her husband..

It’s a taboo to be Single and Nigerian. A guy told me the other day “Hey, you need to go out and start meeting people” to increase my chances of meeting Mr. Right to marry.
People, please help me answer this question..
IS IT A WOMAN’s Responsibility to find her husband?
Why does everybody at a certain stage in woman’s life metamorphose to relationship experts?
LEAVE US SINGLE LADIES ALONE..
Please, marriage is not by force.
Again, it is not a woman’s job to find her husband.
I pursue God and he will bless me at his own time.
I REFUSE to go out searching..

Nigerian women we need to watch who we talk to..
It is not a woman’s job to go searching for her husband.
If he can’t find me when I travel, work, church or wherever I am then he is not for me.

Rush into marriage and rush out..

Our choice right?

Dear Mr. Someone,

7/3/14

I can’t wait to meet you but I have to be sold out to our creator first. Life has been tough the last few days. First of all, I am sorry I stopped writing to you. I will start back because it gives me solace.

I am sitting on my bed waiting for your mother-in-law to wake up so I can go to the gym. I have had many counterfeits come into my life pretending to be “you.” I knew they were not you because I will know when I meet you. I can’t wait to meet you baby. 

I pray God makes me a better woman for you and our children. It’s still early in the morning; the birds are singing early morning songs to God. I have not met you yet but my heart is full of joy that you are praying for me baby. Pray for me o.. Your baby needs it. I want more for us and our family. I think the reason we haven’t met yet is because I am still growing in Christ and I have to continue grow. I am blessed to have you in my life.

Nigerian Report Card: Nigerian Wedding Dance 2014

Nigerians, its time to report to class for your Nigerian Report Card. 

We start this series off by grading Nigerians Wedding Dance 2014 on Youtube. The categories on how the dances will be graded are: 

1. Creativity (1-10)
2. Music (1-10)
3. Synchronism-everybody dances on one accord (1-10)
4. Video quality (1-10)
5. Originality (1-10)

The highest score for each category is a 10. The highest score a dance can earn is 50 and the lowest score is 1.

Let the Grading Begin.

Yemi and Mayowa Dance 1:

Creativity: 10.. (The dance was very creative) 
Music: 10 (loved it)
Synchronism: 10 (Nobody was off) 
Video Quality: 10.. It wasn’t blurry. 
Originality: 10 (Song and dance was very different. It was very original) 

Grade: A 

Dance 2: Ayoluvmi and Ope 

Creativity: 6 (I have seen some of those moves before) 
Music: 10 (I loved the combination of American and Nigerian music) 
Synchronism: 9 
Video Quality: 10
Originality: 7 (Some moves were not that original. The Nigerian moves with Nigerian songs were very Nice) 

Grade: B 

Gari and Karen’s Dance 3

Creativity: 10 (Dance moves were entertaining to watch)
Music: 10 (Who doesn’t love Kukere?!)
Synchronism: 2 (Some of the bridesmaids were dancing something else. I hope you noticed the short groomsmen in the front killing it). 
Video Quality: 1 (It should be a zero but I am feeling generous because today is my birthday). 
Originality: 10 (Love the creative moves)

Grade: C 

If you disagree with the grades, comment below and give your own grades. 

 

What is the most attractive thing in a Man?

43b30-peterEvery lady has her preference. Some ladies will say swag, looks, money, brains and etc. Personally, I say his “heart for the Lord.” A man’s heart for the Lord is the most attractive thing in my opinion. I can’t describe to you how attractive it is for a guy to love the Lord.

As a Christian lady the first thing I look for in a man who is physically attractive is his relationship with the Lord. It’s one thing to see a guy who goes to church is another thing to see a guy who completely loves the Lord. You can’t really see if he loves the Lord until you spend time with him. This guy prays before he pursues you. He seeks to make God happy with all his decisions. He is searching for a Proverbs 31 woman. Your physical appearance is not enough; your heart for Christ is what he wants. He seeks God’s will above all. He stands for Christ. His love for God controls his every move. As a Christian woman, I want a man whose heart is submissive to God that means I can submit to him knowing he will always lead me back to Christ.

*Help this heart love nothing else but you oh Lord.

Quick words to Married Couples..

Couples please make sure your Marriage is as beautiful as your wedding.
I have said this before and I will say it again..
If you had a fairy tale wedding, you also need to work hard to have your happy ending.
You have to INVEST in your Marriage!!!
Don’t neglect your Marriage.
The wedding was the easy part.
Invest in your relationship!!!!

Singles need to see more married couples who are truly happy in their marriage.
The stats are against marriage right now..

Single Ladies: Fantasize about your marriage not your wedding.
That’s the mistake of some women made. They invested more in their wedding than their marriage.
There’s no point having a big wedding, if it’s going to end in a divorce.