My Relationship with Mr. A..

Who knew my Mr. A would grow up to be so attractive with the cutest British accent?! He is so great looking now. That accent doesn’t help either.

 Since when we were little, Mr. A had crush on me. I could tell but he didn’t say a thing. Fast forward 19 yrs later, he still remembers my birthday and he finally told me, he had a crush on me when we were little. He was very close with my immediate brother, who is only one year older than me. I remember him as this short guy with a big head lol!!

He did his undergrad in Kenya and his master’s in the UK. He is very well rounded with a great sense of humor. I wish the childhood crush never left. He is a great catch.

Note to Mr. A:
It’s sad we are world’s apart, you have a very special place in my heart.
You remembered my birthday for 19years without even seeing me. My siblings don’t remember my birthday.
You have a great memory or you were indirectly still holding on to me. Who knows?!!
We might be in different continents, I will never forget you forever.

Love,
9jagirl4real

Nigerian Men: Showcase your Style on 9jagirl4real

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Hey Nigerian Guys showcase your creative Nigerian style and fashion art on 9jagirl4real by sending in your picture to my blog’s email.

I will really love to showcase more pictures in African attires. Please send your pictures.
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Words of Wisdom to Black American Women about American Men..

I am reading this book “Why I love Black women by Michael Dyson” and I will do a book review soon. Love this book.

Here are some wise quotes from this book..

“I think a lot of Sisters are just looking in the wrong places and settling for all the wrong things..money and cars. If they only knew the best man to find is one that truly loves God, because if he does, he can’t help himself but love you.”

“Learn to love yourself which will protect you being vulnerable to men who seek to disrespect, reject, or misuse women”

I am tired of hearing about black men mistreating their women so I will be posting information on this blog to empower women. We need to love ourselves enough to walk out of abusive relationships.

More to come..

It’s not a woman’s job to find her husband..

It’s a taboo to be Single and Nigerian. A guy told me the other day “Hey, you need to go out and start meeting people” to increase my chances of meeting Mr. Right to marry.
People, please help me answer this question..
IS IT A WOMAN’s Responsibility to find her husband?
Why does everybody at a certain stage in woman’s life metamorphose to relationship experts?
LEAVE US SINGLE LADIES ALONE..
Please, marriage is not by force.
Again, it is not a woman’s job to find her husband.
I pursue God and he will bless me at his own time.
I REFUSE to go out searching..

Nigerian women we need to watch who we talk to..
It is not a woman’s job to go searching for her husband.
If he can’t find me when I travel, work, church or wherever I am then he is not for me.

Rush into marriage and rush out..

Our choice right?

Dear Mr. Someone,

7/3/14

I can’t wait to meet you but I have to be sold out to our creator first. Life has been tough the last few days. First of all, I am sorry I stopped writing to you. I will start back because it gives me solace.

I am sitting on my bed waiting for your mother-in-law to wake up so I can go to the gym. I have had many counterfeits come into my life pretending to be “you.” I knew they were not you because I will know when I meet you. I can’t wait to meet you baby. 

I pray God makes me a better woman for you and our children. It’s still early in the morning; the birds are singing early morning songs to God. I have not met you yet but my heart is full of joy that you are praying for me baby. Pray for me o.. Your baby needs it. I want more for us and our family. I think the reason we haven’t met yet is because I am still growing in Christ and I have to continue grow. I am blessed to have you in my life.

Do girls like guys who dress well?

Well, this girl does..
Girls have different things they like in guys.                                            
I can’t speak for all girls, but I can definitely speak for myself.
I LOVE guys who dress well; I can’t really explain why I do.

Why do I like guys who dress well?
Guys who dress well look responsible in my opinion and I want a responsible guy.
It doesn’t mean that most guys who dress up are responsible.
My first impression of a guy who dresses well would be he is responsible.
I also love guys who add their own style into their dressing.
Adding your own spice into fashion is called “swag” in my book.
My definition of “swag” is attractive and hot!!!

Girls are very different..
A girl like me likes guys who dress well.
What kind of girl am I?
I value education.
I am a Christian girl
I am sophisticated
I am conservative
I love smart people.
I am compassionate.
I am very complex
I am a mystery
I am an introvert to people who don’t know me and an extrovert to close friends.

If you want to impress a girl like me, dress well and you will get her attention.

Good luck to you!!

Singles should NEVER forget: Marriage is not a Joke to God..

Once upon a time, this fine gal went to this big gym to work out with one of her acquaintances. While this fine gal was trying to do squats this guy was eyeing her from across the gym.
All of a sudden, he migrated over to where this fine gal was. The fine gal already knew what she was doing so she didn’t need his input. He felt he needed to give the fine gal his input which he did, but the fine gal played it off.

For a while the fine gal has not been seeing the guy at the gym (no, she wasn’t going to gym to find him).  After a few weeks went by she went back to do her squats on this faithful day and all of a sudden she turned her head to the east-side of the gym and there he was. The fine gal didn’t care she wanted to do her squats and leave. As she was in the north-side of the gym minding her business, the guy migrated again from the east-side of the gym to the north-side of the gym. To make matters worse, he started doing walking lunges with these huge weights that required him to walk across the fine gal.

The fine gal is a Christian gal so she tried to ignore what was going on in front of her. The guy was obviously trying to get her attention which he did. The fine gal pitied the guy’s effort sha, so she decided to say a few things to him. The fine gal asked him “do you remember me?” He replied “Of course” and he went on to ask her if she needed help with her squats. She declined the offer and went on with her squats. While she was talking to him, she noticed something. Yes, something very interesting. What do you think it was?

A black ring on his left finger, NO!!! Why? The fine gal(9jagirl4real) thought. There’s something you should all know about this fine gal. She respects God and marriage so much that she will never do anything to disrespect that institution.

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Unfortunately, a lot of singles don’t respect the power of a wedding ring.
A wedding ring means he or she is out of the single’s market.
It means don’t even look that direction.
As soon as you see that wedding ring, a mental “X” sign needs to come on in your head to alert you to change course quickly.

A lot of singles try to justify talking to married people..
There’s no way you can justify it in a way that will make any sense.
If the guy or lady is married leave he or she alone.

“What God has joined together let no man put asunder”-Mark 10:9

If you try to put asunder in somebody’s marriage, you have to answer to God.
God takes Marriage Seriously..

I have no respect for singles that date married people.
I have no respect for married people who date people who is not their spouse.
I have no respect for married people who fool singles by lying that they are single.

If you are single and dating someone married…
How would you feel if your husband or wife cheated on you?

Guys are not SCARCE: Don’t FIGHT FOR A Cheater

Please ladies, we are too sophisticated to fight for a man.
I am fully aware that we outnumber men in this world that doesn’t mean we should fight their battles.

If he cheats on you..
Your battle is with HIM and not the lady he cheated on you with.
I don’t know why most women attack the lady and not the Man.
I am not saying you should fight the man either because you too sophisticated for that too..
The man should be faithful and obviously, he wasn’t.
Again, your battle is with the man.

If you still decide to fight..
Why are you fighting for a cheater?
Let me capitalize on the word CHEATER!!!
Most women don’t want a cheater.
Why are you fighting for one?
I know it hurts to feel used, manipulated and cheated on but face the fact “HE is a Cheater.”
Do you want a cheater?
The answer should be no..

Please ladies, I am begging you for our dignity.
Let’s stop fighting each other for a man.
If he is not willing to fight for you; he is not worth your time.
I don’t want a man who cheats on me.
I certainly don’t want to fight for a man who cheats on me.

To be honest, guys don’t respect girls who fight for them.
They think you are desperate to fight for them.
Remember this: Guys are not scarce.
Guys want girls who respect themselves.
Respect yourself, cry in your closet and let the cheater go.
It’s not worth it, fighting for a man who cheats on you.

We have to know our worth.
Our price is far above rubies.

Clear sign he is not into you..

move on*Lack of communication: Ladies, this is huge. If a guy doesn’t keep in touch with you as often like he used to most likely he is not into you. If a guy likes you, he will do whatever it takes to talk to you. Guys are complex that’s why we have to pay more attention to their actions than their words. Their actions don’t lie.

Analyze his actions not his words especially when his words don’t match his actions. You will get the answer you need by analyzing his actions. If he is really into you his words and his actions will match.  If he is not communicating as much, back off too and see what happens. Don’t make the mistake of initiating conversations. Don’t beat yourself up, learn from it and move on.

Good Guys are not at the Club..

YES, I seriously believe good guys don’t club. Good guys look for commitments not flings. I rarely hear guys say, I want to find my wife at the club. Ladies, if you are going to the club to find your husband. NEW FLASH: He is not there. No reasonably guy will go to the club to find a meaningful long lasting relationship. Most guys, who go to clubs, go for one reason (you already know). Ladies, don’t expect any guy you meet at the club to respect you because they also know you came for the same reasons they came. Guys are not stupid, they will go to club and party it up but when it is time for them to settle down. They will go somewhere else and find their wife. Boys are at the clubs. Real men are in responsible places.