Signs you are dating a boy and not a man..

Man vs. Boy We often think that maturity comes with age, but that’s not always the case. A man can be a boy at any age.

  1. He has children that he is not taking care of: A real man takes care of his children even if it means paying child support. He is grown enough to take on his responsibility. On top of that he tries to be in his children’s lives.
  2. He has 3 or more baby mamas: At some point a man has to realize that too many baby mama is too stressful to keep up. So he commits to one woman.
  3. It’s a beauty contest with a boy: the pretty girl will always win. A man’s attraction goes beyond looks. Looks will get a man’s attention, but character, values will keep his attention.
  4.  A boy has no future goals: He lives with no purpose.
  5. He is financially reckless: he has no savings, but he invests so much money in pimping his ride. He doesn’t understand the importance of budgeting, saving and future planning. He works, but he is constantly asking people for money.
  6.  A boy lives his life to impress others.
  7.  He sags his pants. There’s nothing mature about anyone who sags their pants.
  8.  You find yourself mothering him.
  9. Spends his whole day playing play station.
  10.  He flirts with other women in front of you.You need a MAN and not a boy!! 

More articles to read:
http://jamesmsama.com/2014/09/29/3-clear-differences-between-dating-men-and-boys/
http://likes.com/relationships/10-signs-your-dating-a-boy-not-a-man
http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2014/08/10-signs-youre-dating-a-boy-not-a-man/

Photo Credit: Google

For Single Christian Ladies: Chase God and Look Good

Chase God and look Good is a simple way to combat desperation while putting things under perspective.

Chasing God is very important for us as singles because only God can complete us. You know what the bible says “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added” Matthew 6:33. As a single the type of guy I want is also chasing God so we will find each other in Christ. God doesn’t want us to idolize relationships, marriages.. He wants us, complete in Him first. Chasing God will also help us to focus our relationship with Christ instead of looking for our significant other. Don’t forget that “every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord” James 1:17. A good man is a gift from God. It makes more sense to chase the giver of good gifts.

Why should you look good? Men are visual creatures. The same way you want your man to look fly when you meet him. You should strive to look fly to impress him too. One of the greatest lie I told myself as a single was “I wanted a guy who loved my inner beauty and not my outward.” So for years, I didn’t wear makeup (Yikes!!). My non-wearing make-up days didn’t go so well. The reality is that guys are visual creatures. I didn’t have a lot of guys in my social circle yet I wanted a guy to like my inner beauty first. How was that going to happen?

Chasing God and looking good puts us in a win-win situation because no man in this world can complete us except Christ. The looking good is so that your husband doesn’t bleed the “blood of Jesus” when God points you out to him. There’s no need to act desperate as we chase God the husband will come.

Hebrew 12:2-“Looking onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”

Do girls like guys who dress well?

Well, this girl does..
Girls have different things they like in guys.                                            
I can’t speak for all girls, but I can definitely speak for myself.
I LOVE guys who dress well; I can’t really explain why I do.

Why do I like guys who dress well?
Guys who dress well look responsible in my opinion and I want a responsible guy.
It doesn’t mean that most guys who dress up are responsible.
My first impression of a guy who dresses well would be he is responsible.
I also love guys who add their own style into their dressing.
Adding your own spice into fashion is called “swag” in my book.
My definition of “swag” is attractive and hot!!!

Girls are very different..
A girl like me likes guys who dress well.
What kind of girl am I?
I value education.
I am a Christian girl
I am sophisticated
I am conservative
I love smart people.
I am compassionate.
I am very complex
I am a mystery
I am an introvert to people who don’t know me and an extrovert to close friends.

If you want to impress a girl like me, dress well and you will get her attention.

Good luck to you!!

Know these 2 Facts by Daniel Oyinloye

Note to self:

Know these 2 FACTS and reclaim your existence which in turn gives you confidence to live well.

1. We ALL Where born great | Smart | Talented. No one person should get all the pressure of being different. Choose to live (by that i really mean get out of yourself and stop trying to hold on to who you are. YOU JUST ARE.

2. We ALL were born with a strong longing, a fascinating desire. Know this vacuum (so It Seems) WILL NOT be filled with drugs, sex, and alcohol. It could only be filled entirely with a piece of your creator.

And Daniel remember that science is really just a story. They said the world was flat for the longest time and then it became round. Yes, it’s the best story we have appropriated but not the best story we’ve got! SCIENCE MEANS STUDY OF. In this case the artist and scientist are all scientists and all we have been doing is the STUDY OF GOD to grasp a better understanding of our self, and our environment. Why not just pick up the bible while you are at it. It’s a humble gift to you.

– Rekindled by a conversation with a good friend Charlie Noble, Inspired by everyone and everything God had put in place to remind me of Existence. ( Rafael Arevalo ). I live another day, not by my power, but by the creators will. #NothingForGranted

Please, check out his music below..

Nigerian vs. American Culture

Definition of culture: the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group:
(www.Dictionary.com)

I lived in Nigeria for 12years and in the states for 12years. Some differences I have noticed in Nigerian and American culture. I left Nigeria 12years ago, some things about Nigeria might be different but you will get the gist.

General Culture:
-Nigerian culture: grouped by language. Each language has its own culture. People who speak the same language share the same culture. For example: People who speak Yoruba language share the same culture.

-American culture: It’s really hard to sum up the American culture because it’s so diverse. The way people think in the North is not the way people think in the South. I think the social norms are similar across the states.

Social Norms

Nigerian: Can’t call your elders by their first name. Instead you say “Aunty” or “Uncle” even though they are not related to you. Professionally: Say “Madame” or “Sir”
American: Can call elders by their first name. Professionally: Say “Ma’am” or “Sir”

Family:
Nigerian Parents: Very strict and not affectionate. They are not open to meeting girlfriends or boyfriends except you are getting engaged to them.
American Parents: Lenient and more affectionate. They are open to meeting the people their kids are dating.

Kids:
Nigerian: Kids can live with their parents till they get married with full support from their parents.
American: legal adult age is 18 which mean their parents can kick them out of the house at this age. That’s why a lot of Americans are independent by this age. Their culture encourages independence by 18.

Education:
Nigerian: Value Education.. Education is HUGE in our Culture!!!! Uneducated people are undermined and look down upon.
American: Education is huge in American Culture as well but it varies among ethnic groups.

School
Nigerian: Nursery, Primary and Secondary school students are required to wear uniforms. University students can wear what they like. Teachers and senior students can punish junior students in Primary and secondary schools.
American: Private school students have to wear uniforms. Public students can wear what they like. University students can wear what they like.

Clothing:
Nigerian: When I was in Nigeria, it wasn’t socially acceptable for girls to wear pants but I think time is changing (it’s becoming more socially acceptable).
American: Women can wear pants. It’s socially acceptable for women to wear pants. It is very possible for a woman to wear pants all year without wearing skirts and dresses (very possible).

Shopping:
Nigerian: You can bargain prices and buy things at a lower price. Supermarkets you can’t bargain.
American: No bargaining. The price you see is what you pay except they are on sale or you have a coupon. People can bargain at auctions and stuff.

Misc-
Nigerian: Social economic class competitions.
American: Race Issues

Greetings:
Nigeria: Shake hands elders with both hands instead of one. Never greet an elder with a left hand. Showing respect to elders is very important in our culture.
American: Doesn’t really matter.

Please feel free to comment or email me 9jagirl4real@gmail.com

Do Africans like it here in the States?

Do you like it here?

Americans love asking me this question. Why do you guys look surprise when I have say “there’s no place like home”?
This question has two answers  yes and no.

Africa 3mapYes, I like it here because my education is very important to me.
Education in the states is better than in Nigeria period.
Life is Nigeria as a single person would cost me an arm and a leg without a good job.
In the states, it will be easier for me to advance academically.
Life in the states is more stable.
Living in Nigeria, I wouldn’t know what to expect.
I love living with constant light, water and better roads.
Life in the states to be honest is amazing.
Americans are very generous people too.

On the flip side..

No, I now have to deal with racial discrimination.
Everybody in Nigeria is black; I didn’t have to deal with much discrimination.
I saw discrimination against people of low socioeconomic status in Nigeria.. That’s it!
I didn’t have to try so hard to get people to like me.
Some Americans are shallow, they choose to hate for the dumbest reasons.
I now deal with discrimination not only from whites but from blacks as well.
Plus, Americans have this one-sided national geographic view of Africans.

I lived in motherland for 12 years..
Yes, we do not have constant light and water to this day because of selfish politicians, but there’s a love in heart for my country and my people that no country can take away.

Yes, I’d have liked my life better in my country if the standard of education was better but I like it here in the states.