My friendship with Mr. B..

Who is Mr. B? Mr. B is a childhood friend who attended the same after church service I attended when we were younger in Nigeria. He is now grown, smart and very fine in the United Kingdom. He doesn’t remember me from his childhood, so we had to get to know each other all over again.

Mr. B and I talked for a few months until something interesting happened. When Mr. B talked to me, I honestly thought he was talking to me as a friend with no strings attached until Mr. C came into the picture. Mr. C is his friend in the States. Mr. C started throwing games my way and Mr. B became jealous, I could tell. Mr. B didn’t know I was already interested in him, I wish he had said things in time. It was after Mr. C came into the picture was when I knew how Mr. B really felt. At the time I was very angry about the situation because I was put in this very weird situation.

Regardless, I have a lot of respect for Mr. B. If Mr. C didn’t come into the picture, I would still be talking to Mr. B as if nothing serious would happen. He later told me that his goal was to pursue friendship first. I absolutely respect that. Most guys who come into my life, don’t value friendship anymore. There are somethings about Mr. B I don’t like hey, nobody is perfect.  This guy rocks!!!  He could be playing me though, who knows?!

“As for life every turn of it has it reasons, and once we are in God’s calendar what was meant to be would always be”-Mr. B
Note to Mr. B:
None of this is relevant.

My Relationship with Mr. A..

Who knew my Mr. A would grow up to be so attractive with the cutest British accent?! He is so great looking now. That accent doesn’t help either.

 Since when we were little, Mr. A had crush on me. I could tell but he didn’t say a thing. Fast forward 19 yrs later, he still remembers my birthday and he finally told me, he had a crush on me when we were little. He was very close with my immediate brother, who is only one year older than me. I remember him as this short guy with a big head lol!!

He did his undergrad in Kenya and his master’s in the UK. He is very well rounded with a great sense of humor. I wish the childhood crush never left. He is a great catch.

Note to Mr. A:
It’s sad we are world’s apart, you have a very special place in my heart.
You remembered my birthday for 19years without even seeing me. My siblings don’t remember my birthday.
You have a great memory or you were indirectly still holding on to me. Who knows?!!
We might be in different continents, I will never forget you forever.

Love,
9jagirl4real

Save Your KIDS!

snapshot (2)Prospective mothers and fathers, see your mate through the eyes of your child(ren).
Proactive parents plan ahead for their child(ren).
Your future children deserve the best mother and father.
Does your mate want kids? What type of mother or father will your mate be to your child(ren)?
What type of mother or father do you want for your kids?
Will your mate be a good mother or father to your child(ren)?
See your mate through the eyes of your children. Would they approve?
The person you choose to have children with will affect your child’s life positively or negatively.
If a man is not taking care of his other kids, why would you choose him to be your child’s father?
Think about the future of your children and choose accordingly.
She has a big booty but can she selflessly take care of a child.
All women are not mothers. Some women have other priorities.
Some women don’t want children same goes for men.

Don’t bring a child into this world to suffer.
Your child deserves the best mother and father.
Think about your decisions and evacuate how they will impact your children’s lives.
Save your kid(s) the heart ache and choose wisely.

Your child deserves the BEST!!!

The Death Penalty for Men who marry Underage women in Nigeria..

Child-Not-BrideMarrying an underage child is prohibited in Nigeria, yet child marriages are prevalent in Nigeria.  Some people call it marriage, I call it slavery. A female child under the age of 18 is given off to marriage without her exercising her god-given right as a human being, that’s slavery. No parent should be allowed to give their underage child to marriage. These children are stripped of their rights to be children from a young age. Their innocence is stripped off as they are forced to experience things their underdeveloped brains can’t comprehend.

Life is in age stages.

Children are given off as young as 12 years old.
Do you know how immature I was at 12 years old?
At 27, I am still not ready to tie the knot.
That’s beside the point. Of all the things I hate about my country, child marriages is on my top list.
Any Christian or Muslim Man (more prevalent amongst Muslim men) who marries a girl under the age of 18 should get the death penalty.
The death penalty might seem too extreme; these men with their perverted heads deserve it.

Child marriages are inhumane and barbaric.
I hate when society flirt with the future of our children.
Some women even 18 years are not ready for marriage, how much more our little children?
These girls are children.
What sick demon in the form of a man would want to sleep with a child?
These men need a help because they are not normal.
Normal men marry women who are of age.

Why would you want a child who doesn’t know anything about anything?
Are beautiful, matured women scarce in Nigeria?
A man who marries a child needs to check in a psych hospital because he needs some serious help.

NO CHILD SHOULD BE FORCED INTO MARRIAGE.
EVERY MAN WHO MARRIES A CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF 18 SHOULD GET THE DEATH PENALTY.

We are not Animals. Even animals have more sense.

Enough is enough!!

My conversation with a 33 year old Akwa Ibom Millionaire..

Fine 3When I talk to people in Nigeria, they tell me “Your own is good because you are in America.”
Guess what? You can make it in Nigeria.
I spoke to a self-made millionaire yesterday. He is not a politician and he is lives in Akwa Ibom.
When his mates were chasing government jobs, he was working hard to start his business.
He told me yesterday, he now has 80 employees.
This guy wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
His father died in his early thirties. He had no rich uncles to give him money to start his business.
He was passionate about what he does and he worked hard to own his business.

He is nobody’s employee. He is a BOSS!
He said in his early stages of his business, he would pay his own way to speaking events without getting a dime.
There are people who wait for things to happen to them and there are people who make things happen.
Which one are you?
If you are making excuses for your present financial economic state, you are not serious about your future.
Go out there and make things happen for yourself.
If it is legal, go for it.
You are the master of your own destiny.
Anything is possible with God, perseverance, passion, and determination.
You can do it.
No excuses.

Naira SignYou know what troubles this guy now? He has a dilemma of choosing between Dubai and South Africa for his honeymoon.  That’s a good problem to have.

Stop making excuses.

You can SUCCEED in Nigeria!

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Black Americans through the eyes of a foreigner:

10 Things that make me angry about Black Americans…

1. Black Americans who blame white people for their problem- I can’t stand people who blame others for their problems.  Take responsibility for your life. White people are not responsible for your problems. You are your biggest problem. You will continue to be a victim of slavery if you believe that whites are responsible for your plights.

2. Black Americans who burn stores, businesses in the name of protesting- Using violence to protest violence is a contradiction. Martin Luther King Jr would be disappointed, if he was here. Martin Luther King jr. didn’t use violence to fight for your freedom. Peaceful protest is the way to go.

3. If you are afraid of white people, you need to check yourself: mental slaver y is the worst type of slavery. Whites can’t do anything to you. The best way to win this racism war is to be successful. If success is not your aim your fore-fathers fought for nothing. Fear will subject you to live a mediocre life.

4. Black American men who refuse to take care of their children. The one that hurts the most are the Black American men who know what it feels like to grow up without a father and they choose to put their children through the same. You are a disgrace to the whole black race.

  1. Black American women who have children for irresponsible black men. You clearly know that he is not taking care of his other five children and you are having a child for him. Why? God forgive all you Black American women who don’t care how your choices will affect the future of your children.
  2. 6. Men who choose women over their children. If she doesn’t love your children, she is not worth it. Your children matter.
  3. 7. Black on black crimes: of course, I don’t condone killing people period. You fulfill the wishes of the slave masters by killing each other. Continue kiling each other in the name of mental slavery. Let’s call it what it is.8. Successful black American men and women who are not mentors for other black males and females. We need more black men to mentor young adult men especially those without fathers in their lives.

    9. Successful black men and women who allow their success to enter their heads to the point that they forget their race. You are disgrace to your generation.

10. Black Americans who choose to be Statistic. Raise above the statistics because you must.

I see Greatness in you Black Americans. Do you?

Coming to America 101 for Nigerians..

Coming to AmericaAfter 14 years in America, here’s my advice to my fellow Nigerians migrating to the United States of America. My advice is solely from my experience. This is not to negate the fact that your experiences might be different from mine.

1. Smile: Smiling is huge in the American culture. I remember a lot of Americans telling me that they thought I was “mean”(rude person) because I didn’t smile. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, smile because it shows that you are friendly.

2. If your name is hard to pronounce, be prepared for people to ask you if you have a nickname. I thought my name was simple until I came to the States. I had to teach a lot of Americans on the right way to pronounce my name. They asked me for a nickname, I say “no.” I hate people asking me for a nickname because it seemed like I was changing my name to fit their inability to pronounce my name. You can give them a nickname, that’s your call.

3. Be prepared to educate people on Africa: it depends on the types of people you meet. A lot of people are curious about Africans and Africa, so expect a lot of questions. Brush up on your African geography, history and be prepared to answer any questions. You will get intelligent questions as well, nothing tedious. Get ready. Don’t be surprised if somebody asks you if you have Ebola.

4. If you want attention, wear your African attire: you wear African attire like nothing back at home. Over here, people will look at you except you wear it in a place where they are familiar with African attires. You will get a lot of compliments for your African attires. Some Americans are intrigued by our African attires.

5. You have an accent-After 14 years in the States; Americans can still hear my accent. Americans will ask you a lot of questions about your accent.

6. If your friends invite you to the movies or somewhere that requires money. Don’t assume that because they invited you that there are responsible for paying. You are responsible for paying except they specifically tell you they will pay for you. If you don’t have money, let them know.

7.You can call everyone by their first names here, except for your teachers and boss. The whole Aunty and Uncle still apply for Nigerian adults here(at least for me).

Welcome to America!!! Buckle up, work hard, study hard and don’t forget to make Nigeria proud. Wink!!

Any questions? Please comment below or email me: 9jagirl4real@gmail.com

The Hottest Song right now in Nigeria: Godwin By Korede Bello Music Review

This song is HOT!!!
I can’t stop listening to this song.

It gives Glory to God for every good thing that happens.

The only negative that I could say about this song is that it only recognizes the positive things that happen to us.

We are commanded to give thanks in everything..

Everything: good, bad, ugly, beautiful. God deserves the praise in everything because it could have been worse.

With all the craziness going on in Nigeria, it is refreshing to hear a #No nyash song giving Glory to God.
This is the type of song Nigerian artists need to be producing, songs that elevate people’s spirit by giving them a reason to smile in spite of the problems in their lives.
Godwin is the front runner in our 2015 Nigerian Music challenge.

In the Good, bad…#Godwins

5 Types of Africans you will meet in your country:

1. An African who lived in, their home country for a long time and migrated to your home country as adults. These types of Africans are those who have stayed in your country for a long time, but their accent sounds as if they recently migrated to your country. They can lose their accents, but some of them choose not to. These types of Africans are more likely to hold onto their culture and practices. They are very traditional and still stay true African identity.

2. An African who came to your home country at a young age: this African can remember growing up in their home country.   They are a combination of their own country and your home country. They can tell the difference between living in their country and your own country. They have the best of both worlds. They will choose to stay true to their African roots, be fully immerged in your culture or both.

3. Africans who grew up in your home country: this African has never been to their parent’s country. They can only tell you  from what they have been told, heard or read. This African is a born-citizen of your country with an African name.

  1. Africans who just arrived from their home country: when you meet these ones you will know them right away. Give them time, they will get acclimated.
  1. Africans who have lived in your country for a long time and forgot about their African identity.

Next Post: How to communicate effectively with these different types of Africans.