Red flags he is not into you..

Guys are simple yet complex..
If he is not into you:

1. He wouldn’t initiate contact (calling, texting, emailing or taking time to see you). That’s the big one. This is a huge red flag that this guy is not into you. No matter how busy, if he likes you..he will make time for you.
2. He ignores your calls, texts, messages, etc..

This is not a long list but if this two things happen; forget it.. He is not into you.
Best thing to do:
1. Don’t msg, text or call (this only makes you look desperate)..
2. Move on, God has someone better.
3. Take this time to love yourself. Loving yourself is the first step to true love..

My Top Reasons for Abstaining…

Image1. I want my children to know and have a relationship with their father.
2. I don’t want to put my children in a situation where they already feel rejected and abandoned by their father.
3. I want a good male role model for my sons, if God bless me with sons.
4. I am worth more than a one night stand.
5. My love deserves a lifelong commitment
6. God respects sex in the institution of marriage.
7. I don’t want any ungodly soul ties.
8. I want a life free of STD’s and ETD’s (Emotional Transmitted Diseases)
9. My body is God’s temple.
10. I don’t want to be a single parent.
11. To rise above the status quo.
12. Cos I want my honeymoon night to be hot.
13. I want my daughters to be taught by their daddy how they ought to be treated by men.
14. Most importantly, I want to obey God!!

*Your love deserves a lifelong commitment before benefits. Why don’t you consider abstaining today?

Lessons College has taught me..

Am graduating in 8days..
God has been faithful to me.
1. Trust no-one but God and myself.
2. True friends will stick around no matter what..
3. True friends will always have your back.
4. Some Professors don’t like you.. You have to work hard.
5. Prayer is your best friend.
6. Exercise: your body needs this to relieve stress.
7. Procrastination will hurt you bad.
8. Don’t assume anything. Prepare!! Prepare! This is the best way to prevent a life  full of regrets.
9. Some ppl wouldn’t like you. Don’t take it personally..It’s a reflection of their own insecurity.
10. Getting the A’s is how you fight for the future you want.
11. Have a balance b/w school life and social life. One greater than the other can be traumatic.
12. Party at your own risk: anything can happen at that party hall.
13. Study hard
14. College is best time you get to learn about time management.
15. Get involved with school activities that helps with networking.
16. If you still compare yourself to others, you still insecure about yourself.
17. Don’t limit yourself to a certain group of people. Learn to get to know other people different from you.
18. Find a study method that works..stick to it.
19. Avoid drama..a stress free life is the way to go in College.
20. Don’t make excuses. Learn from your mistakes and move on!
21. Put in your all if you still fail..at least you know you gave it your all.
22. Good friends will tell the truth no matter what.
23. Your significant other might not meet you in college. It’s ok!! You will meet someone someday.
24. Positive thinking is the best way to think in college no matter the situation.
25. Watch the company you keep cos your friends are pieces of you.
26. Persist to get your degree no matter the situation.
27. If you have photographic memory, you need to continue studying even after the test to get the info in your long-term memory.

The Grass is never Greener on the other side

I found this story and I just had to share it..
Every single lady hoping to marry one day and every married lady should read this..

“Biyi hasn’t worked for that long?” Dayo’s voice drips with resentment. “For real?” “He’s been trying,” I say in feeble attempt to defend my husband. “You know how the economy is.”

…My husband and I had vowed never to bring in a third party into our relationship but with a bank account screaming for revival, I need to share my burden with someone else. I grip the phone. Dayo is unusually quiet. “You still there?” I ask. “Hello?” “I am here,” she says. “I just didn’t know things were this bad. And all this while, I thought Biyi was providing for the home.” But he is, I argue silently. Well, maybe not financially for now, but in every way else, Biyi is a rock. “It’s not that bad.” My words sound frail. Dayo clucks her tongue. “You might as well be a widow.”
The words hit me like a fist. “Na you I blame,” she continues, oblivious to the damage her words have caused.

“Me? Why?” She is blaming me for this? Seriously?
“Why do you keep paying the bills?”
“Because there is no one else to do it,” I protest, upset.
“For real? He drives your car too?”
“He needs it,” I mutter. “To attend job interviews and stuff. He gets back late sometimes.”
“How late are you talking?
“Nine, ten…ish.”

Dayo pauses for a second. “I hate to say this gurl, but your husband spending your money on another woman.” Whoa! Hang on. Where did that come from? “Haba, Dayo. Biyi would never—” “Look, I know men,” she slices in. “You are his moneybag and he will take you for a ride as long as it takes. Where is your dignity, gurl?” Ride. Dignity. Moneybag. Ouch. “But he’s a good guy,” I manage. Can my husband be using me? It had never crossed my mind in the past, but I now wonder if Biyi is actually having an affair.

“I trust my wonderful Dennis…,” Dayo is saying. I barely listen. My eyes are on the clock. It’s almost midnight and Biyi isn’t home. I force myself to hear what Dayo is saying about Dennis Ono, her multimillionaire-oil- company-golden-husband. Gosh I envy her life, her perfect marriage. “My marriage is wonderful,” Dayo says, as if in affirmation to my undeclared words. “But only because I show Dennis who the boss is. He cannot try nonsense with me. Abi, you think it’s easy to get ten thousand pounds a month as pocket money?” She really gets ten grand a month? That’s like, my entire annual salary in my crappy job plus bonuses. Life is unfair. Honestly. “I am Biyi’s wife,” I say. “I cannot just desert him.” Or can I? At this rate… “In that case,” there is an edge to her voice now, “give him an ultimatum. He gets a job in two weeks or you are out of that marriage.”

“I—”
“Look, I know his type,” she says with conviction. “He conveniently won’t get a job as long as you keep dishing out your money.”
“But—”
“Starve him,” she adds. “No sex. Make life hell. You are not an ATM machine.”

Keys jangle in the hallway. Biyi is home. “Talk later,” I say to Dayo. “He’s back.” “Stand your ground,” Dayo whispers menacingly. “Ultimatum. Two weeks.” I hang up with a sigh. My husband is leaning against the door frame. For a second my heart falters. He looks tired, drawn. But Dayo’s words punctuate my compassion. “Where have you been?” Biyi gives me a side smile. “No hug?” I jerk my head at the wall clock.” Its midnight.” “I had a job interview in Birmingham,” he says. “I called you tell you I was stuck in traffic but I kept getting your voicemail. What’s wrong?” I cock my head. Is that a whiff of female perfume? It is. Dayo is right. He has been with another woman. With my car. Spending my money. My head spins. “Biyi,” I glare at him, “Where are you coming from?” He steps back, surprised. “I went to Birmingham—”
“Did you get it?” I screech. “The job?”
Biyi shakes his head. “I didn’t—”
This is the last straw. I wrench my hand out. “My car keys.”
He gives me a hard level stare. “What is wrong with you, Toni? Did I offend you?”
“Pass my keys!”

He thrusts the car keys to into my palm. I push past him, grab my duffel bag and stuff my overnight things into it. I know I am acting crazy but I have to show him that I would not be taken for a ride. That I am not a moneybag. That I have dignity. I zip the bag up and spin around. My husband is staring at me. “Is everything all right with you, sweetheart?”
“Get out of my way.”
“Where are you going with that bag?”
“I need to clear my head.” I am still yelling.
“Can we talk first?” Biyi suggests.
“I don’t want to talk. Get out of my way.”
He moves out of my path. I swipe a hand across my face, smearing my cheeks with mascara. “Don’t look for me. I will be back when my head clears.” I rush out of the house, jump into my car. My rage doubles as the feminine scent permeates the car. He has been with a woman in my car. I feel like an idiot.

* * *

I pull up in front of Dayo’s mansion. Her husband’s Porsche is in the driveway, and the porch lights illuminate my dreary form as I reach the door. I ball my fists to knock, but a scream freezes the motion.
“Kill me!” I hear Dayo scream. “Good for nothing idiot. Womaniser of the century!” Whoa. Momentarily, I am unable to move. My hand hovers in the air. Dull thuds, muffled screams. Dennis curses. “I warned you never to serve me stew that is not freshly cooked!” “Am I your slave?” Dayo yells back. “If you want fresh stew, get your PA to cook it for you. Or you think I don’t know about her? You think…”
Dayo’s words are silenced by another thump. My hands fall to my side as a flurry of blows stifle her cries. I want call the police, do something…anything. But I cannot move. And so I shut my eyes tight and listen as my friend is pummelled by her husband. The beating stops. I should dash to my car, but something holds me back. “I am sorry I got you upset darling,” Dayo finally says. Her voice is laced with pain. “It is my fault. I should have cooked for you. I…Toni wouldn’t let me get off the phone…its her fault.”
“Next time you talk to me like that, I will tattoo a punch on your forehead,” Dennis growls. “Get into the kitchen and make me fresh stew. And do something about that leech you call a friend.”
That is enough for me. I sprint back to my car and drive home.

* * *
A knock sounds on the window. Biyi. I wind down and he gives me a smile. “Head clear now?” he asks. “Leave me alone,” I mutter. Dayo’s wonderful Denis beats her up? And she never mentioned?
“I will leave you alone in two seconds,” Biyi says. There is a twinkle in his eyes. “But first, get out of the car.” I oblige, grudgingly. “What?” He reaches under the car seat and pulls out a small basket. “I didn’t come home straight from the interview. I stopped over at the Perfume shop to get you this.” He hands the basket over. Inside is a range of exotic feminine perfumes and a small card. I pull the card open, read the words: “Thank you for your support during the hardest times of my life! I love you.”

“That’s why I was late,” he explains as he pulls me into a warm embrace. “You have been so good to me, Toni. I couldn’t have asked for a better wife.” I can’t reply. My throat is lumpy.
“When you left the house to clear your head, I got a call back from the recruiter,” he says with a beam. “God answers prayers, babe. I got the job. It’s a package you won’t believe. Let’s go in. I’ll tuck you into bed and you can tell me what’s bothering you?”

* * *
I awaken to a text message from Dayo. “Denis is flying me to Seychelles this weekend. This is what you get when you stand your ground. You have to be a no nonsense gurl! Don’t you just love my life? Ciao sweetheart xxx.”

I type a quick response back: “Ciao! and i deleted her number right away.

Now, this is one story every woman should read. The grass is never greener on the other side, best believe that. No matter how good a friend’s marriage it, NEVER EVER compare with yours. It’s DEADLY and could cost you so much!

by Abimbola Dare

To my better me,

Babe,
I have been confused about praying for you and pursuing God.
I think the desire to have you in my life has overwhelmed my love for God.
I have to put a pause on thinking and praying for you.
Absolutely, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have you in my life.
I can’t idolize the idea of marrying you.
So I am putting a pause on praying and dreaming about you to just pursuing my relationship with God.
Am at peace, this is a good decision.
If I never get to meet you,
I will be content in Him.
God is enough for me..
Until God brings you to be me..
This is my last blog post to you..
Being content in God is more important than meeting you.
I will still strive to become a Proverbs 31 in honor to God.

Help me Lord to be content in YOU!

Y?

I can count time and time again how people ask me if I have a boyfriend.
How come nobody ask me about my relationship with God?
How is my relationship status with a man more important than my relationship with the Lord?

I have been starving you guys,
My spirit man is so anorexic cos I wasn’t feeding it with the word.
I am still a babe in Christ,
why doesn’t that bother you?

A man can’t quench this thirst..
My life is not for me..
it’s for God.

Until my heart is content in God,
I will be wasting his time!