Author Archives: 9jagirl4real

4SingleLadies

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NEVER do this:

1. Initiate conversations
It takes courage to talk to a girl. Most ladies want someone courageous or bold, allowing the guy to take that first bold step will let you know if you are dealing with a wimp or not. Nobody wants to be with a wimp. Trust me, courage is an attractive quality. If you keep helping him by initiating conversations, you will never know how serious he is about you. A guy that is serious about you will overcome his fears and pursue. If he doesn’t initiate conversations, don’t help him at all.

From experience, initiating conversation didn’t help him overcome the demons of his past. Most of time, the reason a guy doesn’t initiate first is cos of their past. The only person that can aid him overcome his past is him. If he really likes you, but never comes out to say that’s his loss and problem. Again, he has to overcome whatever is holding him back by himself. Honestly, you don’t want to be fighting the demons of his past with him, so let him handle that and get that settled b/f he pursues you.

I know what you’re thinking what if he is really shy?? Well, cute shyness is attractive but  shyness that impairs your ability to function is not attractive at all. If he is not courageous enough to initiate the first moves, let him go!! A wimp chickens out. A courageous person takes risk, now that’s attractive.

2. Lower your Standards:
A guy that loves you will appreciate you and all. If you have to lower anything, he is probably not for you. The person for you will respect your boundaries and do anything to protect you. Know your identity to the point that you don’t need him to feel complete. Let him know your standards and boundaries from the very beginning and consequences, if he breeches your boundaries. Uphold your standards. A good guy wants a girl with high standards. The guy that wants you to lower your standards just wants to sleep with you (sucks!). So what are your standards?

3. Sleep with a guy to show love
Ladies, educate yourselves! You can tell a guy in other ways you love him without sleeping with him. I hate when guys use the line “if you really love, you’d sleep with me,” I can’t stand it. Sex is meant for marriage. The best way you can protect yourself in having sex is in marriage or abstinence. Sex is the highest level of intimacy b/w a man and woman. A guy that wants to sleep with you outside the institution of marriage, you need to raise your eyebrows. Society has taught us that sex with boyfriend and girlfriend is ok and no, it is not. Family is the building block of society. Sex is not taken seriously anymore that’s why we have so many single parents and broken kids all over society. The best expression of love through sex is within an institute of marriage. Protect your future kids and yourself by being wise when you have sex.

4. Fight for a guy
A man is suppose to fight for you. It is not your place to fight for him. Fighting another girl for your guy is kinda low. That’s how you know that the guy is really into you by fighting for you. Fighting for a guy seems kinda desperate. Desperate girls do crazy. Don’t be desperate.

5. Change yourself for a guy
It is not worth it. The guy for you will appreciate everything about you. He can influence you positively, no problem. If he starts comparing you to another girl to be like so and so, we have a problem.

To my better half..

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To the world, I may not be the most beautiful woman.
In your eyes, am the most beautiful woman in the world.
I don’t have to become anyone else,
You like me just the way I am.

Changing myself would be a crime to you.
I am perfect regardless of my flaws.
You appreciate everything about me.

I know your love for me is real cos:
You don’t compare me with others.
You like me for my flaws and appreciate
the good.
You fight for my heart.
Your words match your actions.

I know our love is for real
cos you’d not just go to the ends of
the world for me,
You’d will fight the world for me.

Our love is real cos it is centered
around our heavenly father,
on how to love him and live to bring him
glory.

You’re different,
You’re worth it.
Waiting for u might be pain,
it can’t be compared to a lifetime
with u, babe!
I will wait for u!

James 1:17
Till you come,
God first!

The counterfeit..

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His heart craves for love so bad
but his actions yields selfishness..
A selfish heart is not capable of Love.
Love is antagonist to Selfishness.
Am concerned that his selfish heart
will only lead him to the very thing he fears
HURT.
This 4-letter word guides his steps.

He is every Christian woman’s nightmare,
His words is sweet and very convincing..
However, the detects of his heart
is far from the truth.

He wears a mask to portray the original.
He will tell you what you want to hear,
and probably the same thing he is telling
other girls.

How to recognize the counterfeit:

1. He doesn’t have an intimate relationship with God: Being with him wouldn’t strengthen your relationship with God.

2. He hurt you in the past: Love shouldn’t hurt. Hurt is inspired by selfishness. Selfishness is inspired by fear. In the presence of Fear, Love can’t Strive. I John 4:18-Perfect Love cast out all fears.

3. He constantly compares you to another. 2 Cor. 10:12- to one to another is not wise.

4. He lies to you..
if you’re honest with him. It’s a clear sign of immaturity and lack of responsibility.
This is so
disrespectful (you deserve better).
A guy that will lie to you will play you.
Players lie.
Make sure, you have
substantial evidence (don’t assume)

5. He left you to talk to another..
Guys that do this are subconsciously telling you,
you don’t have all the qualities I want. When a man finds his rib, he will
stop searching. Except, he purposely wants to play every female.

6. He flirts with other girls in front of your face: This act is very immature and a clear sign that probably the reason he is with you might also be very superficial. The man for you will not disrespect you. If he does this.. It’s a clear sign he has his eyes
for other girls.

Best way to handle moving on from a counterfeit:

1. Pray for them-(ex..salvation, future) pray for good things for them.
It might hurt cos they hurt you but trust me,
it is the best way to handle evil. Overcome evil with good.

2. Cut them completely off.. No msg, txting, fb..
You can’t move on when you’re constantly in contact.

3. Meditate on Christ’s love for you.

4. Busy yourself by helping others.

5. Every time you think about him or her,
speak out LOud: God loves me or
I am complete in Christ.

6. Remember, this person had to get out of
your life, so that you can refocus your attention
on God.

7. Pray for your future spouse, but don’t idolize the idea of meeting your future spouse that you forget about your relationship with God.

8. Read a book about Waiting till God’s time.

9. Trust God’s plan for your life- Jeremiah 29:11

10. Forgive the counterfeit..

11. Don’t rehearse the old conversations.

Remember, the joy you will feel with your Spouse
will override the pain you feel now.

It is our duty to be on the look out for the counterfeits..
Trust me, the original is so WORTH the WAIT.

BE PATIENT.

Choice with a Twist!

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God gave us this free gift call “choice” in all aspects of our lives except in choosing our race, gender, and family. None of it seems fair especially if you’re a poor black person in America. Of course, you wish you were born to President Obama or born to some rich Hollywood movie star or something. It’s not fair, why do some people have it made like Prince Harry and William?

Why didn’t God allow us to pick our race, gender, and family? I don’t have that answer.. Nobody does.
He allowed you to have the race, gender, and family  for his purpose and glory. He placed you in the right family, and gave you the right race and gender. Despite the fact, it is not exactly the kind you wanted. God chose this part of our lives because he knows everything. He knows the right family, race, gender that will best prepare you for his purpose for your life.

If you hate your race, gender and family; you’re technically saying that God’s choice for you was not the best. For those that truly know God, you know that God chooses the best for us. If you were given the choice to chose for yourself, I seriously doubt that your choice would have been better. No man’s wisdom can ever measure up to God’s. Our wisdom minutely shows us a glimpse of God’s wisdom. God is always right and his choice is always the best; even though, we don’t understand.

Complaining only undermines God’s decision to make you this way. Complaining wouldn’t change anything. Instead, thank God that he made you the way you’re cos he knew that he needed you to be this way to fulfill your purpose for your life. Remember in Genesis, God re-assessed everything he created and he said “it was Good.” Apply that to your life now, he looked back after he created you and said the same thing. God’s choice and decision is always perfect, and we know he is not the author of confusion.

God knew you would mess up making this decision, so he chose by himself. If you think you’d have made a better decision than God, think again. Embrace this inevitable facts about you. Some people can change their gender this days through surgery. U can go through surgery or you can just accept the fact that you can never be smarter than God. Accept yourself, God made you!!!

Mother Africa

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Dear Mother Africa,

I am one of your children.
My heart saddens for your children,
and you haven’t done anything.

You’re a mother,
Do you weep when you see lots of your children
deficient of basic life necessities
like clean water, food and shelter?
We have been exploited, scorned, mistreated
and many heartless things have been done to us.

Momma, have u seen?

We are hated for been black.
The world says our skin color is not pretty enough.
We are maltreated for facts,
we didn’t choose.

Why do they hate us so much?

Living in your continent has brought so much pain.
Why were we chosen to go through this much pain?
We are just kids.
No kid deserve a perilous childhood
coupled with an uncertain future.

Every child deserves their father and mother present
showering them with love.
Every child deserve clean water, shelter, light and
free education.
How can we make u proud when we have to fight
for our lives everyday.

Do you care about us?


Some of us are all alone because
we lost our parents and loved ones to war.
No kid should grow up alone in a very scary world.

Mama, do you care about us at all?
We are not asking for much,
we just want the basic.
Can u just promise us the basic?
Can u?

We want your countries,
free of wars
Living in peace
caring for its citizens
and future.

For once,
show us we matter.

Sincerely,
The children of Africa

Words to Men..

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Words of prayers that you’ll indeed grow from boys to Men.
boys walk around spreading their sperm everywhere
without standing up to their responsibilities.
boys do what boys do..

Men fight for their families.
boys drag their pants on the ground
looking for the next bait to plow.

Men pull their pants up and go to work.
boys mistreat women.
Men protect their women and children.

It takes a Man to raise a Man.
If your dad made you a statistic,
why should your kids suffer
for the mistakes of your father?

Your Manhood starts now,
Raise up and take your rightful place.
It is about time you start turning from boys to Men.

If you have a child and you’re not taking care of your responsibility,
no matter, how old you are. You’re a boy.
This epidemic has to stop.

A man does what Men do..
A real man has a real job and takes care of his kids.
Not just financially, emotionally as well.
He goes to their games,
gets involved in their schoolwork.

Tell them, you love them
Show them, you love them.
Tell your lil girl, she is beautiful
Tell your lil boy, he is strong. 
Discipline them in love.

Build up your kids positively,
Remind them of their identity,
if you don’t,
society will do it for you.
Society can’t do a better job than You.

Your kids..
Your responsibility..
Live for a greater purpose
greater than yourself
BE A MAN!

 

 

 

Upgrade your Man Survey!!

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Every lady deserves her best

Questions:

1. Does your man beat you? YES or NO
2. Does you man verbally bring you down? Yes or No
3. Is your man lazy? Yes or No
4. Has your man cheated? Yes or No

If you answered yes to any of those questions, Yes girl, YOU need an UPGRADE! Except your married, answering yes to question 2 and 3 means you need counseling..

If you’re married and answered “Yes” to the first question. Red Alert: Immediately, You need to get help. Living with an abusive man is a slow kill. You need to reach out to anyone that will listen: Please RUN and get help.

To my Christain ladies:

1. Does your man have an intimate relationship with God? YES or NO
2. Does your man put you before God? Yes or No
3. Does your man push you to compromise your standards? Yes or No
4. Does your man respect your boundaries? Yes or No
5. Does your man accept you just the way you’re? Yes or No
6. Are you attracted to this man? Yes or No
7. Are the feelings mutual? Yes or No

If you answered more than two “NO”.. You need an Upgrade. Especially for number 1. If he doesn’t have a relationship with God, that’s a problem. We can’t be unequally yoked. Remember two can’t work together except they agree.

“love should spur you with the feeling like you can conquer the world”

You deserve a man that loves you unconditionally..
One that doesn’t compare you to the rest.
One that reminds you that you’re his best.
One that gives you heart security.
What is Heart security?
Heart security is when you’re at peace that he loves you
and he wouldn’t just leave u for another.

You deserve a man that
…fights you..
… put you second after God.
…is willing to do anything for you

Love is a gift.
Ladies, we doesn’t need to fight for Love.
God will give us our gift at the right now.

You deserve the man of your dreams.
To keep the man of your dreams..
You have to work on yourself,
so, when he arrives,
you wouldn’t chase him away.

Every lady deserve Her Best.
Never settle..
Upgrade your man today..

Missing Piece..

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God gave Adam his missing rid by giving him Eve. Subconsciously, we are still looking for that missing some(thing, one) attribute currently absent in our lives. Anything, anyone lacks, they search for it externally. If a girl doesn’t feel pretty(internally), she searches for attention and affirmation from guys to feel beautiful(externally). Somehow, we believe that finding external gratification will appease the emptiness on the inside. A guy feels hurt, rejected, torn and all sort of negative emotions(internally), he doesn’t know how to handle all those emotions at once, as a result, he drinks excessively to get to a state of euphoria, where forgets all his trouble, or he smokes all kinds of drugs to reach that elated state when all his troubles seems to disappear(externally). What about the guy that has been hurt so many times that he has closed his heart to love(internally), but seeks to get revenge for his emotional turmoil by breaking lots of girls hearts(externally). Let’s not forget the girl that feels worthless that she feels that she can buy his love, by giving up her value. Casting blaming on others for the current state of our lives is an external fix from an internal lack of responsibility.

Look into yourself are you using external factors to fix internal matters that only requires internal self-fix.  We leave in a microwave society,     Image where we sabotage our internal symptoms to use external things to try to fix internal matters. Don’t get me wrong, times will come where we need external therapies to help us internally. If you have a low self-esteem, getting attention from guys is only a temporary quick fix that wouldn’t completely eradicate this problem. Plus, different guys have their own preferences, no matter how fine you’re..Not every guy is going to physically attracted to you. You need to add more substance to your value. External therapies for self-esteem are definitely temporary. Until you esteemed yourself, no-one will esteem you. We project ourselves to others; afterwards, they echo back what we are saying to ourselves.  Build yourself from unconditional internal factors that no matter what ppl say, it wouldn’t change how you view yourself. First of all: You’re made in the image of Almighty God. Yes! You were creatively created. Of course, you’re fearfully and wonderfully made…There’s no better you than you. God created the best you! God has invested his incomprehensible knowledge in making you. Never question the way you look. God knew what he was doing when he created you. You’re not Ugly.. Stop saying or meditating on that.. Your man will love you just the way you’re. If you have to change for anyone then, they’re probably not for you. God’s love is unconditional. His sacrifice for us is the best example of true love. I tell others, if you don’t like me.. Pray for me, cos I wouldn’t change for you to like me..sry! There’s nothing selfish about true love. You don’t believe me, check out 1 Cor 13. (That’s another blog..watch out). Find your self worth from God’s unconditional love for you. Regardless, who rejects you, God will always accept and Love you no matter what. Build yourself in the fact that God LOVES YOU..

If you’re smoking your life away or drowning yourself in alcohol; look internally what is really going on? Until you’re honest with yourself, you will continue killing yourself in self-pity. Life is so fragile, we are not promised tomorrow. You want peace, find it within you. Yes, within you. In God! We were created by God. His hand prints is all over you, so reach out to God and you will find the peace you need within. No-one can give peace like God can.

More examples: if you don’t accept yourself, you will search for acceptance from other ppl. If You don’t love yourself, you search for love from others. You get the gist.

We all have that missing piece in our lives and we are searching for it, subconsciously or consciously, but nothing can fill that gap except God. In God, we find true satisfaction not derived from money, career, family, friends, traveling, name it..etc.

God created us so we you could find him. He is our missing piece!!