Ted Talk Review: The Skill of Self Confidence by Dr. Ivan Joseph

Here’s my notes from this this Ted Talk.

“I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate” –Ernest Henley

Without the skill of self-confidence we are useless.

Self-confidence: the ability or belief to believe in yourself to accomplish any task, no matter the odds, the difficulty or adversity.

Self-confidence can be trained by:
1. Repetition, repetition, repetition. Practice!
The problem with repetition is that we bail out after a few tries.
Don’t accept failure; repetition and persistence are key.

2. Self-talk- we all have this negative self-talk in our heads. Guess what?  We have enough people saying “we can’t do it, we are not good enough.” Thoughts influence actions. The more we focus on the negative, we will start believing it. We need our own self affirmations.  Get away from people who tear you down. We need our own self affirmations where we tell ourselves “I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate.”
-Write a letter to yourself of the things you are proud of and read it to yourself daily to reaffirm yourself.

STOP THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK.

Build confidence in others by-Praising the positive behaviors we want to reinforce.

Self-confident people interpret negative feedback the way they want to.

Lastly, NO-ONE WILL BELIEVE IN YOU UNLESS YOU DO.

Click here to watch the whole speech. 

Nigerian Guys and Chivalry

A lot of Nigerian guys hate the word “chivalry” or refuse to know that that word exist. I understand our culture supports the idea that men are superior to women, so men feel they don’t need to do much. Your Nigerian lady deserves to be treated like a lady. We make culture not the other way around.

Chivalry is a western custom we need to adopt into our culture. It’s not just about pulling out chairs or opening doors for your lady. It’s about treating your lady like a lady. Most Nigerian guys refuse to recognize chivalry because it acknowledges the woman first. Our aggressive Nigerian men want to be first in everything even before their wives. Practicing chivalry subconsciously affirms to your woman that she comes first before anybody else even you. Guys who practice chivalry are called “gentlemen.” Your Nigerian lady deserves to be with gentleman.

You will discover more benefits as you adopt chivalry into relationship. I know Nigerian women are strong women but we still need our guys to treat us like ladies. Some Nigerian women don’t like chivalry but if your lady loves it, do it!