Marriage Prep for Christian Singles (ladies Version)..

  1.  Condition your mind to see every man as a brother.
    Why? Infidelity is toxic to marriage. You need to prepare your mind early that every guy is your brother. This will help keep your relationship with males in check before and after you are married. Even if you are engaged, you have to remember that this guy is your brother in Christ first, I know this is hard to do if you’re attracted to the person but you have to train your mind until after the wedding.
  2. Be complete in Christ.
    Why? Marriage and your husband can’t complete you. In fact, no one can complete us but God. If you are not happy now, trust me from what I have heard from couples, marriage wouldn’t make you any happier. To believe that someone will complete you is an absolute myth. Only God can fulfill us.
  3. Pray for God’s choice of a mate..
    Why? God knows us more than anyone, he is the best matchmaker cos he knows the person that will fix you best. Don’t pick someone and ask God for his blessing. Ask God, this person is interested in me is this the person you want me to marry. This is why it is very important we have a relationship with God where we can hear his voice clearly.

    God's love 2

    Be complete in Christ

  4. Learn to Cook…
    In American culture, it’s not a big deal if you don’t cook but in Nigerian culture, a woman who can’t cook is a disgrace to her family.
  5. Start now to pray for your marriage
  6. Abstain from sex till marriage- if you can have sex outside of marriage, you will have sex outside of your marriage. Studies show premarital sex increases risk for divorce–Read here– (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about_us/focus-findings/marriage/premarital-sex-and-divorce.aspx)
  7. Learn to manage your money.. Please don’t bring children into this world with no plan how you will take care of them. It is your responsibility to take care of your kids not the government.
  8. Set your mind and keep it set that when you marry that divorce is not an option. If you are engaged, tell your fiancé how does he feel about this concept? In cases of abuse where your life and your children’s life are threatened that is serious emergency situation and you need to take the necessary steps to get out of that situation.
  9. Be honest about everything with the person you are about to marry. I mean it’s better they know all about your skeletons before you marry them. Especially for women, if any of your body part is fake please your fiancé deserves the right to know before he marries you. People put people in weird situations when they are not honest before marriage. Morale of the story: it will hurt you more later if you aren’t honest.
  10. If you want kids, babysit other ppl’s kids to get a feel what it would be like to have your own kids. Do you even like kids?.. You need to know these things. If you don’t want kids pls don’t marry someone who wants kids cos you will definitely have conflict.
  11. Know your character traits and develop the character traits that will help you in marriage.  For example: if you are quick tempered, you need to work on that because if you don’t that might be a problem in your marriage.
  12. Gain from wisdom from couples that have been married more than 30 years and still married
  13. Don’t compare your life to others. You will never be content in your life. This is a very important concept: so when you do get married, you wouldn’t compare your husband and kids with another person.

    Don't compare your life with someone else

    Don’t compare your life with someone else

  14. Use your words to build the people you love even when they hurt you.
  15. Marry someone you sincerely love. Marrying someone who worships the ground you walk on will make you feel trapped in marriage if you don’t love that person equally.
  16. Love yourself. You can’t love anyone until you love yourself.
  17. Learn to forgive easily and quickly.
  18. Enjoy yourself as a single so that after you get married you don’t feel like you are missing out on life. Your priority should change after you are married.
  19. Learn to say “I am sorry”

20. Most important, ask God to prepare you to be that Proverbs 31 woman for your future husband and family!

Why are American Kids so mean?

This was the question I asked my 12yrs old self when I started attending middle school in the United States.
I was different..(very different. In fact, different is an understatement).
I was flesh out of boarding school in Nigeria that means my hair was short (very short, In fact I could pass for a guy).  The Boarding school I attended in Nigeria, every student is  required to cut off their hair because they didn’t want us to occupy our time with hair.

My hair was very short, I had this thick African accent (some of my peers thought I was Jamaican). Some thought my accent was kool but some didn’t really know how to accept me maybe cos I was completely different from them.

Ironically, the black kids were the worse.. Most of my bullies were black kids.                        ?????
Why are people who look like me mean to me?
I expected the white kids to be the bullies cos I was completely different from them.
No..
My very own ppl bullied me.

The only difference between me and the black kids in my school was my thick accent, short hair and weird clothes. I was similar to them but why didn’t they accept me?
Coming to an unknown country, I was already culturally shocked.
But having people who looked like me bully and reject me was a hard thing for my 12 yrs old self to handle.

The white kids accepted me but don’t catch me between two white kids together that means I’d be ignored as if I wasn’t even there.
I wasn’t only bullied by one race, I was bullied by two races.
The white kids only accepted me when none of their other white friends were around
or when they fully accepted me, they told me, I couldn’t be invited to their sleep over parties because their parents were racist.

Mind you, I grew up in a country where everybody is literally BLACK.
Race was never a problem for me.
I never saw my race as a problem until I came to the States.
Certainly, I thought something was wrong with me..
why didn’t I just fit in?
In middle sch and high school.. I can’t really remember having a true black friend.

When I started wearing my hair in braids to school. The black girls were like “she thinks she is all that.” I have now figured out, they thought I was all that (jealous). Middle school was just a preparation for a full year of bullying in 9th grade. I don’t know what I did to these two black guys in my English class, they always had something to say. I couldn’t quite place why I was still a target after my hair grew, I didn’t wear weird clothes anymore. I guess, it didn’t matter that I  looked like them.. cos I was still different.

To the white kids: I was black.
To the black kids: I was obviously different

I do admit I was different; however, after my weird clothes changed, my hair grew and my accent was not as thick. Why was I still different to black kids?

I should blame these kids for being so inconsiderate of my situation as this poor little African girl who just wanted to be accepted. No. The kids are not at fault. I am now grown ( I think, I am lol!). I think Parents contribute a lot to how kids think about their peers.

bulliesParents if you constantly tell your kids to only talk to a certain race, class. etc.. you are opening your kids to an environment where they think something is wrong with people who don’t look like them or you don’t want them to associate. Why do you think bullying is still a problem in American schools? I am aware some bullies have issues at home but what about bullies whose parents tell them to only be friends with kids that look like them?

Kids are so innocent and pure. God didn’t create kids to see race. Allow a child and they will play with everybody. Sadly, parents start as early as elementary school to poison their kids minds to segregate. Racism/discrimination/bulling  is still alive cos you are allowing it. How can you honestly teach your kids to hate or not associate with that race or class? I understand educating your child not to associate with kids who are trouble makers.

When you fill your kid’s head with hate at home don’t act surprised when he or she acts on it in school. The best place to teach tolerance is at home.

Black parents, your child doesn’t only have to deal with bullies from another race but also from your own race. I call it, double threat of Racism from kids of their own race. Bullying doesn’t discriminate but I do think black kids are easy targets.

Bullying is rampant in this society cos parents and society are telling little kids to stay away from people different from them for no particular reason.

Yes, there’s no right answer to this problem.
You want to stop bullying?!
Start by educating your children and lead by example.
Little kids are dying cos of bullying,
you need to start talking.
I know most of you wouldn’t do anything until your own child becomes a victim.

Christain Singles..

A Pastor in my church said “ppl spend more time preparing for wedding more than the marriage.”  Considering the high rates of divorces today, I agree with his statement 100%. The alarming fact of the matter is that divorce is also high in the church. I think the enemy in directly attacks families by attacking marriages. Marriage should be forever.

Christian-singles-datingHollywood shocked us with 72 days of marriage. Our society doesn’t value marriage, an institution designed by God himself for a mature man and a mature woman. Rushing into a lifelong commitment is not wise and might easily end in a divorce. If people prepared more for marriage, do you think we would have less divorces? I don’t know, but I do think singles* need to take precaution in their dating relationships to approach marriage differently.

Divorce doesn’t only affect the parents, it affects the kids more. After divorce, kids have to adapt living with one parent instead of two. The child might not fully comprehend why daddy or mummy is no longer living with them. Divorces hurt children. The bible only allows divorce when infidelity is present. Divorce is a serious business to God because he doesn’t take marriage vows lightly.

Singles, marriage is not dating, you can’t just married him or her today and decide you want to divorce tomorrow. Unfortunately, people are approaching marriage like a dating game. Christian singles, if our marriage vows is important to God, we need to approach marriage in a serious sense. Society will go back on God’s word because a carnal mind can’t fully comprehend. As Christian singles, it is imperative we prepare ourselves for marriage. Marriage is a life-long commitment and shouldn’t be entered hastily.

That’s the problem with this society: quick to marry and quick to divorce.

Dear Nigerians…

Yesterday, our Super Eagles made us so Proud.Nigeria won
Obviously, hard work, perseverance and dedication pays off.
I pray.. our leaders will get a wake up call and stop cheating us.
Nigeria is rich but only the leaders are rich and the civil servants are suffering.
Corruption is tearing our country apart.
The part that hurts the most is that poor are constantly exploited.
Boko haram is not our problem, our Selfish leaders are the problem.

I celebrated yesterday cos I know the God who fights for the poor is still alive
and he will vindicate us.

God please give us good leaders who will lead this great country without exploiting us.

Do you Really Love Him?

God loves us so much..
He proved his love on the Cross.
We say we love God all the time..
Do you really?

What have you done to show God you love him.
I am not talking about trying to please God with works
cos you can’t..
All I am saying is love is an action word.
Have you shown God you love him lately?
Does your actions show your love for God or love for yourself?

If you’re in a relationship and your partner tells you he/she loves you without ever proving it. Would you believe them?
Probably not..
It’s the same thing with our relationship with God.
We have to let our actions match our words.
Of course, God sees your heart but actions still speak louder.

Cultivating this mindset will help us make our relationship with God a top priority.