Tag Archives: Food

A letter from Mr. Cabin Biscuit to Mr. Oreo,

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Dear Mr. Oreo,

Cabin BiscuitsHow you dey? I am just here showing Mrs. Cabin biscuit this your video “Mr. Oreo.” I saw the video too.. It was nice sha, but mmm.. You already know what this letter is about so I am not going to front. I understand the message you were trying to convey, but couldn’t you do it and still call your video “Mr. Cabin biscuit.” Wait, why are you black on the outside and white on this inside? Wettin dey worry you?

No, I am not mad o, but I am just saying. Do you know how many Nigerian boarding students I have saved from starvation? Do you know that Nigerian boarding students cry to their parents if they don’t add me to their provisions? Do you know how many Nigerian families have me with groundnuts?

Don’t get me started.. I have a question for you Mr. Oreo. What has Oreo done for you that Mr. and Mrs. Cabin hasn’t done for you over the years? I have the right to vex. This is not fair now. I am here trying to save Nigeria from starvation and you are over there singing about Oreos. My friend you no get respect? Which kind wahala be this? I feel underappreciated in this country. This thing you do.. It no good o!!

I have talked to Mrs. Cabin biscuit about the consequences of your actions. Mrs. Cabin biscuit was even pleading with me to pardon you o(can you imagine?) I told her “forget that thing.” From the Cabin family to your family, we are banning you and your future generations from our savory taste. Don’t beg me; you have insulted me and my family. No Cabin Biscuit for you Mr. Oreoand your future generations. Look at Mrs. Cabin biscuit begging me. I think Mrs. Cabin biscuit is begging me because of your muscles. She said the Cabin family helped you gain all that muscle. Again.. You are BANNED from the Cabin Biscuits family.

I don’t understand why Nigerians are quick to promote foreigners before their own. Nigerians, it’s time to love yourselves. Mr. Oreo we are banning until you make a song about us na. My friend, you better respect yourself o.

Sincerely,
Mr. Cabin Biscuit and the Cabin Family

FYI: My family will be dancing to Kukere as we wait for our video. We expect our video by December 2015

Nigerian Men are buying Nigerian Women like Suya..

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Woman Holding BanknotesNigerian Women, our sole purpose on earth is not to get married to a politician or a rich man. It is also not our duty to give any man a male child that’s God’s duty. A lot of us have the mentality of marrying rich because the present economic situation in Nigeria. A man who buys your heart with his money will use the same money to manipulate and control you in marriage except he loves you. Even when he loves you, he can still use his money to manipulate you. It is our duty to claim our rights in our society by fighting for it. I hope you are paying attention to what is happening in our society. A lot of rich Nigerian men can get away with anything when it comes to women by using their money. Nigerian women, they are using their money to manipulate you.

How can a politician have a mistress that his wife knows about? Why can’t his wife put her foot down against it? Why are we allowing our men to mistreat us and misuse us? I am aware that not all Nigerian men are this way. A woman should not go crying to her in-laws before her husband understand that he is hurting his wife. Most of these men who do these things do them because they know they can get away with it. Do men really value us as women or do they see us as the properties they can buy? (Please, answer this question). Nigerian women, we are responsible for our place in our society. If you don’t want a place in society continue allowing men to buy you like suya.

Enough is enough!! Nigerian Ladies, the way to solve your economic problem is not to marry a rich husband who can use his money to manipulate you. The way to solve this economic problem is not to sleep with men for job offers or salary. The only solution to this problem is for us to think independently outside the men in our lives. Stop thinking you need a man to maintain you. You can start your business (honestly, genuinely without sleeping with any man for funds). It is time for independent Nigerian women to emerge.

We can be financially stable without depending on any man. I don’t think it’s wrong to depend on your husband to provide for the family, but we need to stand up as Nigerian women and stop allowing these men to use their money to manipulate us.

Money doesn’t equal happiness.