When I was younger, my Sunday school teacher taught me this song. We have to be careful what we see. The bible says the person who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed a sin in their heart. Society encourages us to look. Guys and Girls look. There’s nothing wrong with looking but that second look will get you in trouble.
When you see someone attractive usually the first look is innocent but looking the second time is never innocent. Society has this cliché saying “look but don’t touch.” Well, if you are looking eventually you will touch. Lust has no restraints. We have to make sure our action is not encouraging lust in our lives.
We can’t control who we see initially but we have to control ourselves from taking that second look. We can’t do anything by ourselves. We need to ask daily to help us not to look at people lustfully. For with God nothing shall be impossible (Luke 1:37).
Black Women, women of other races are taking the majority of your men. This is a serious problem for black women who love their black men. Complaining wouldn’t bring them back. Ladies, you need to start figuring out what is going on or you will lose all your men to other women (God forbid!).
Let’s Talk..
To have an edge over your competition, you have to study their tactics; however, there’s one fact you can’t change. You can’t change who black men are attracted to. There are some black men who are only attracted to black women, but there are some who are only attracted to women of other races and others who are attracted to both. We all have preferences. Everybody has the right to be with whomever they want to be with. No black man should be ridiculed for choosing a woman of another race. Thus, if a black man loves a woman of another race; we have to respect his decision because we can’t change it anyway. Why get mad over something you can’t change in the first place?
Instead of hating on women of other races, you need to start figuring out how to win the competition. So far, you are losing. Big time! If black men have a self hate thing going on that’s their cup of tea to figure out. Black women (especially in the states) have a bad reputation for being loud, obnoxious, and full of drama. So maybe these women are not taking our men. Maybe we are the ones chasing them away..
It’s time to start studying your competition and their tactics to win the game.
Side Note- Black Women, forget the competition, and start considering people outside your race!
“Aspire to acquire the desire that you admire. But if in the process you perspire, don’t retire but refire to acquire that desire which you admire.” (Author Unknown)
“The single hand that wipes your tears during your failures is better than the countless hands that come together to clap you
on your success.”-Mfon Abel Ekene
Nigerians,
I laugh as I watch this video of our Nigerian Parents but deep down I am scared that some of us will use this parenting style to raise our kids.
A lot of Nigerians children including myself were raised with an authoritarian parenting style.
I learned in college that there are four types of parenting styles:
1. Authoritative: Here the parent set rules and boundaries. The parent is responsive and nurturing and the parent is less likely to control their kids by induction of shame, guilt or withdrawal of love (Source)
2. Authoritarian: Parents are very strict with their kids (Most Nigerians can relate)
3. Permissive: Parents act as a friend towards their kids.
4. Uninvolved: Parents don’t care about the child.
I grew up with parents who used authoritarian parenting style and I have seen its damaging effects. It scares me that more Nigerians couples and future parents will use this parenting style without questioning it.
I am pleading with you present/future Nigerian parents to use a different parenting style because an authoritarian parenting style doesn’t help kids develop emotionally. Based on my observation of myself and siblings, I can say this parenting style has different effects on children. For me, I noticed that I became emotionally distant from the people I love. Agreed, this parenting style produces obedient children but at the cost of their emotional development.
This parenting style produces negative results because God created parents to be nurtures not dictators. You can discipline your kids without withdrawing love from them. A lot of Nigerians think that discipline is a form of love and I completely agree, but discipline is not the only form of love.
Providing for your kids financially caters to their physical needs not their emotional needs. Nigerians parents, your kids need to know and feel loved by you. I knew my parents loved me by their actions but they didn’t do much to make me feel loved. This is why I hate this parenting style because it focuses more on discipline and neglects the emotional needs of children.
You need to balance the discipline with love. You need to make sure that your children feel loved. Cater to their emotional needs because it is important. You need to hug, kiss your child, talk and play with your children regularly this will help them with their emotional needs. Once in a while sit down and have a communication with them without scolding.
Again, your children knowing you love them is not enough; you need to physically hug, kiss, talk and play with your children to help them develop emotionally. Be affectionate towards your children. Children are a gift from God, enjoy the journey.
Rule of thumb: As the discipline goes up, the love needs to go up as well.
In summary: Discipline your kids and still be affectionate because it is important for their emotional development.
You will not believe the wealth of wisdom in this Video!!!
You have to watch this Video especially if you are single..
Ladies, our worth is in Christ!!
This is a good book to read on your journey to killing lust in your life.
You can also use this book as a devotional.
It’s only $2.99 to get it on your kindle.
Please ladies, we are too sophisticated to fight for a man.
I am fully aware that we outnumber men in this world that doesn’t mean we should fight their battles.
If he cheats on you..
Your battle is with HIM and not the lady he cheated on you with.
I don’t know why most women attack the lady and not the Man.
I am not saying you should fight the man either because you too sophisticated for that too..
The man should be faithful and obviously, he wasn’t.
Again, your battle is with the man.
If you still decide to fight..
Why are you fighting for a cheater?
Let me capitalize on the word CHEATER!!!
Most women don’t want a cheater.
Why are you fighting for one?
I know it hurts to feel used, manipulated and cheated on but face the fact “HE is a Cheater.”
Do you want a cheater?
The answer should be no..
Please ladies, I am begging you for our dignity.
Let’s stop fighting each other for a man.
If he is not willing to fight for you; he is not worth your time.
I don’t want a man who cheats on me.
I certainly don’t want to fight for a man who cheats on me.
To be honest, guys don’t respect girls who fight for them.
They think you are desperate to fight for them. Remember this: Guys are not scarce.
Guys want girls who respect themselves.
Respect yourself, cry in your closet and let the cheater go.
It’s not worth it, fighting for a man who cheats on you.
We have to know our worth.
Our price is far above rubies.
To have an edge over your competition, you have to study their tactics; however, there’s one fact you can’t change. You can’t change who black men are attracted to. There are some black men who are only attracted to black women, but there are some who are only attracted to women of other races and others who are attracted to both. We all have preferences. Everybody has the right to be with whomever they want to be with. No black man should be ridiculed for choosing a woman of another race. Thus, if a black man loves a woman of another race; we have to respect his decision because we can’t change it anyway. Why get mad over something you can’t change in the first place?