Advice

Don’t judge your life by Other people’s success or failure. The road of life is different for everyone. No one walk the road of life the same. A very good and kind man may die at 30 but a wicked and evil man may live till 80, between the two who is better?

The most intelligent student may graduate and get a good job but the dull student may drop out, struggle but someday build a very outstanding company. A virgin may struggle to give birth after marriage but a lady that have undergone multiple abortion may give birth nine months after marriage. Some may find love early during their teen but lose it by 35, others may find love at 40 and live happily ever after.

It may not happen the same way it happen to the other because everyone is different. But always try to give your best, so at the end, you will be glad you did!

Written by: Mfon Ekene

Love and MEN..

I was reading Genesis 25 and I realized something.
Ladies, if a man loves you, he will love your kids as well.

Genesis 25:1-5
1. Abraham again took a wife, and her name was Keturah.
2. And she bore him Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak, and Shuah.
3. Jokshan begot Sheba and Dedan. And the sons of Dedan were Asshurim, Letushim, and Leummim.
4. And the sons of Midian were Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, Abidah, and Eldaah. All these were the children of Keturah.
5. And Abraham gave all that he had to Isaac.
6. But Abraham gave gifts to the sons of the concubines which Abraham had; and while he was still living he sent them eastward, away from Isaac his son, to the country of the east.

Abraham had children from other women but as you can see..
He loved Issac more than all his other children.
As you read the old testament, you will see this trend.

The same is true for men today,
a man who loves a woman will marry her and care more for the children she bares him.

I heard about this lady who thought she was the only child, but as she grew older..
she discovered she had a lot of step brothers and sisters.
Unfortunately, she was the only child her father fathered. This should tell us something women..

Sleeping with a man and having his baby doesn’t mean NOTHING.
If he didn’t love you before the baby,
he wouldn’t love you after the baby..
it’s really a gamble if he will love your child.
There are rare cases that a man will step up and take care of his responsibilities even if he doesn’t love the woman.

As we can see,
LOVE is very important.
Abraham gave all he had to the child he loved and on top of that sent all the other kids eastward away from his precious Issac.

Ladies, we have to do our kids a favor and marry men who love us.
Again, if he didn’t love you before you had kids, he wouldn’t love you after kids..
Plus, it’s a coin toss if he will love your kids.

Marriage Prep for Christian Singles (ladies Version)..

  1.  Condition your mind to see every man as a brother.
    Why? Infidelity is toxic to marriage. You need to prepare your mind early that every guy is your brother. This will help keep your relationship with males in check before and after you are married. Even if you are engaged, you have to remember that this guy is your brother in Christ first, I know this is hard to do if you’re attracted to the person but you have to train your mind until after the wedding.
  2. Be complete in Christ.
    Why? Marriage and your husband can’t complete you. In fact, no one can complete us but God. If you are not happy now, trust me from what I have heard from couples, marriage wouldn’t make you any happier. To believe that someone will complete you is an absolute myth. Only God can fulfill us.
  3. Pray for God’s choice of a mate..
    Why? God knows us more than anyone, he is the best matchmaker cos he knows the person that will fix you best. Don’t pick someone and ask God for his blessing. Ask God, this person is interested in me is this the person you want me to marry. This is why it is very important we have a relationship with God where we can hear his voice clearly.

    God's love 2

    Be complete in Christ

  4. Learn to Cook…
    In American culture, it’s not a big deal if you don’t cook but in Nigerian culture, a woman who can’t cook is a disgrace to her family.
  5. Start now to pray for your marriage
  6. Abstain from sex till marriage- if you can have sex outside of marriage, you will have sex outside of your marriage. Studies show premarital sex increases risk for divorce–Read here– (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about_us/focus-findings/marriage/premarital-sex-and-divorce.aspx)
  7. Learn to manage your money.. Please don’t bring children into this world with no plan how you will take care of them. It is your responsibility to take care of your kids not the government.
  8. Set your mind and keep it set that when you marry that divorce is not an option. If you are engaged, tell your fiancé how does he feel about this concept? In cases of abuse where your life and your children’s life are threatened that is serious emergency situation and you need to take the necessary steps to get out of that situation.
  9. Be honest about everything with the person you are about to marry. I mean it’s better they know all about your skeletons before you marry them. Especially for women, if any of your body part is fake please your fiancé deserves the right to know before he marries you. People put people in weird situations when they are not honest before marriage. Morale of the story: it will hurt you more later if you aren’t honest.
  10. If you want kids, babysit other ppl’s kids to get a feel what it would be like to have your own kids. Do you even like kids?.. You need to know these things. If you don’t want kids pls don’t marry someone who wants kids cos you will definitely have conflict.
  11. Know your character traits and develop the character traits that will help you in marriage.  For example: if you are quick tempered, you need to work on that because if you don’t that might be a problem in your marriage.
  12. Gain from wisdom from couples that have been married more than 30 years and still married
  13. Don’t compare your life to others. You will never be content in your life. This is a very important concept: so when you do get married, you wouldn’t compare your husband and kids with another person.

    Don't compare your life with someone else

    Don’t compare your life with someone else

  14. Use your words to build the people you love even when they hurt you.
  15. Marry someone you sincerely love. Marrying someone who worships the ground you walk on will make you feel trapped in marriage if you don’t love that person equally.
  16. Love yourself. You can’t love anyone until you love yourself.
  17. Learn to forgive easily and quickly.
  18. Enjoy yourself as a single so that after you get married you don’t feel like you are missing out on life. Your priority should change after you are married.
  19. Learn to say “I am sorry”

20. Most important, ask God to prepare you to be that Proverbs 31 woman for your future husband and family!

Christain Singles..

A Pastor in my church said “ppl spend more time preparing for wedding more than the marriage.”  Considering the high rates of divorces today, I agree with his statement 100%. The alarming fact of the matter is that divorce is also high in the church. I think the enemy in directly attacks families by attacking marriages. Marriage should be forever.

Christian-singles-datingHollywood shocked us with 72 days of marriage. Our society doesn’t value marriage, an institution designed by God himself for a mature man and a mature woman. Rushing into a lifelong commitment is not wise and might easily end in a divorce. If people prepared more for marriage, do you think we would have less divorces? I don’t know, but I do think singles* need to take precaution in their dating relationships to approach marriage differently.

Divorce doesn’t only affect the parents, it affects the kids more. After divorce, kids have to adapt living with one parent instead of two. The child might not fully comprehend why daddy or mummy is no longer living with them. Divorces hurt children. The bible only allows divorce when infidelity is present. Divorce is a serious business to God because he doesn’t take marriage vows lightly.

Singles, marriage is not dating, you can’t just married him or her today and decide you want to divorce tomorrow. Unfortunately, people are approaching marriage like a dating game. Christian singles, if our marriage vows is important to God, we need to approach marriage in a serious sense. Society will go back on God’s word because a carnal mind can’t fully comprehend. As Christian singles, it is imperative we prepare ourselves for marriage. Marriage is a life-long commitment and shouldn’t be entered hastily.

That’s the problem with this society: quick to marry and quick to divorce.

How GREAT is our GOD Day 3..

I found this amazing story written one of my friends on fb. I can’t share the person’s name.

“A man who is about 24 years old is walking down the street homeless for over almost 4 years now. Asking people for food and money. This man was not a man of ignorance or negativity. He just lost his home due to a major fire from the inside of his house. This man lost his two twin daughters and his wife of 8 years in the fire. He survived but now has nothing.”

One day, this man went to the a gas station up the street to find more people to give him something to eat. He ran into this young lady. This young lady was about 22 years old. She was in college and had alot going for her. So the homeless man went up to her and asked her “What is the matter why is she so sad? She answered: “I lost my job, my grades are not good, my parents dont listen to me and I just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years.” The man replied and said “Sorry to hear that. I just have one thing to say to you. From what I hear your going through a lot of things right now but trust me when I say its not gonna end this way. You still have a chance for something greater in life so your should hold your pretty face up high and continue on with life. Coming from experience, IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!I am a homeless man out here begging for food and money.

Trust me, there is a whole lot you should be thankful for in the process. I am not the best person to share bible scripture with, but the last scripture I read keeps me going and I hope that it blesses you. It says: For I know the plans that I have for you declares the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
The young lady was so blessed by the message he gave her. She gave him great thanks by taking him to get something to eat and actually bought him a gift card to shop for clothes.

Ending of this message, the homeless man went to church one day and gave his life to christ! He ended up living with the pastor who gave him a job at his funeral home. So on TODAY, this homeless man is now running his own business, has a two story house in the suburbs, and is currently engaged to be married to his new wife to be.

Whats so amazing about this short story is not only do I know this man, but it shows me that no matter if your a crackhead, prostitute, etc. God gets pleasure in using this so-called names to be a blessing and a true example of TRUST AND FAITH! People like this man are a mystery to God. It just proves that he can take anyone and turn their life around.

The best part of this story is HIS WIFE TO BE IS THE YOUNG LADY HE RAN INTO AT THE GAS STATION!!!! GOD IS AN AMAZING GOD…..

Written by: a friend on Facebook

What can I say?! How Great is our GOD!!!!

Girl Reality Check..

Ladies,

african wedding bridal party

We fantasize about our weddings.
Yet, we somehow forget that our marriage is more important.
It makes no sense to spend thousands of dollars or naira on a wedding only for it to end in a divorce.

There’s nothing wrong in spending a lot of money on your wedding..
But, you need to INVEST more into your marriage to make sure it works.

Weddings are beautiful..
Every girl dreams of their Cinderella moment on their wedding day.
Cinderella on your wedding day,                                                            
and an Evil queen after your wedding makes no sense. African Wedding 2

Don’t get me wrong spend as much as you want on your wedding;
However, you need to invest more in your marriage prior and after the wedding to make sure your marriage works.

Your Wedding is a one day event.
if you’re African like me.. A two day event.
For other cultures a multiple day event.

Point is all our wedding festivities will come to an end.
Your Marriage should be forever.
Which one deserves more investment??

Malachi 2:16-“I hate divorce” says the Lord.

“It’s better to have an average wedding with an exceptional marriage, than a dream wedding but the marriage be a nightmare.”-Singles and Married Africa

Wise Up Women:

The man is the person that pursues in the relationship. A woman must NEVER give the man sex if he is chasing her.
If the man is really interested in her he will keep pursuing her until he marries her.
Once you women give the man sex, he has conquered you and why should he settle down with you and commit when you gave him the most valuble, physical intimate connection, sex?
Once you give him that he has conquered you and now why settle when he knows how you are and wants to see something better that is out there?
Women wise up, he will not stay. If he really wants you he will pursue to marry.
If not he will give up which shows you it is about the sex. This eliminates all of the men who are trying to knock you off.
Women seek Jesus, live right and the man of God, the right man will pursue you. You desire what you are.

By: Shafarr Holierthanthou Savoy

The Grass is never Greener on the other side

I found this story and I just had to share it..
Every single lady hoping to marry one day and every married lady should read this..

“Biyi hasn’t worked for that long?” Dayo’s voice drips with resentment. “For real?” “He’s been trying,” I say in feeble attempt to defend my husband. “You know how the economy is.”

…My husband and I had vowed never to bring in a third party into our relationship but with a bank account screaming for revival, I need to share my burden with someone else. I grip the phone. Dayo is unusually quiet. “You still there?” I ask. “Hello?” “I am here,” she says. “I just didn’t know things were this bad. And all this while, I thought Biyi was providing for the home.” But he is, I argue silently. Well, maybe not financially for now, but in every way else, Biyi is a rock. “It’s not that bad.” My words sound frail. Dayo clucks her tongue. “You might as well be a widow.”
The words hit me like a fist. “Na you I blame,” she continues, oblivious to the damage her words have caused.

“Me? Why?” She is blaming me for this? Seriously?
“Why do you keep paying the bills?”
“Because there is no one else to do it,” I protest, upset.
“For real? He drives your car too?”
“He needs it,” I mutter. “To attend job interviews and stuff. He gets back late sometimes.”
“How late are you talking?
“Nine, ten…ish.”

Dayo pauses for a second. “I hate to say this gurl, but your husband spending your money on another woman.” Whoa! Hang on. Where did that come from? “Haba, Dayo. Biyi would never—” “Look, I know men,” she slices in. “You are his moneybag and he will take you for a ride as long as it takes. Where is your dignity, gurl?” Ride. Dignity. Moneybag. Ouch. “But he’s a good guy,” I manage. Can my husband be using me? It had never crossed my mind in the past, but I now wonder if Biyi is actually having an affair.

“I trust my wonderful Dennis…,” Dayo is saying. I barely listen. My eyes are on the clock. It’s almost midnight and Biyi isn’t home. I force myself to hear what Dayo is saying about Dennis Ono, her multimillionaire-oil- company-golden-husband. Gosh I envy her life, her perfect marriage. “My marriage is wonderful,” Dayo says, as if in affirmation to my undeclared words. “But only because I show Dennis who the boss is. He cannot try nonsense with me. Abi, you think it’s easy to get ten thousand pounds a month as pocket money?” She really gets ten grand a month? That’s like, my entire annual salary in my crappy job plus bonuses. Life is unfair. Honestly. “I am Biyi’s wife,” I say. “I cannot just desert him.” Or can I? At this rate… “In that case,” there is an edge to her voice now, “give him an ultimatum. He gets a job in two weeks or you are out of that marriage.”

“I—”
“Look, I know his type,” she says with conviction. “He conveniently won’t get a job as long as you keep dishing out your money.”
“But—”
“Starve him,” she adds. “No sex. Make life hell. You are not an ATM machine.”

Keys jangle in the hallway. Biyi is home. “Talk later,” I say to Dayo. “He’s back.” “Stand your ground,” Dayo whispers menacingly. “Ultimatum. Two weeks.” I hang up with a sigh. My husband is leaning against the door frame. For a second my heart falters. He looks tired, drawn. But Dayo’s words punctuate my compassion. “Where have you been?” Biyi gives me a side smile. “No hug?” I jerk my head at the wall clock.” Its midnight.” “I had a job interview in Birmingham,” he says. “I called you tell you I was stuck in traffic but I kept getting your voicemail. What’s wrong?” I cock my head. Is that a whiff of female perfume? It is. Dayo is right. He has been with another woman. With my car. Spending my money. My head spins. “Biyi,” I glare at him, “Where are you coming from?” He steps back, surprised. “I went to Birmingham—”
“Did you get it?” I screech. “The job?”
Biyi shakes his head. “I didn’t—”
This is the last straw. I wrench my hand out. “My car keys.”
He gives me a hard level stare. “What is wrong with you, Toni? Did I offend you?”
“Pass my keys!”

He thrusts the car keys to into my palm. I push past him, grab my duffel bag and stuff my overnight things into it. I know I am acting crazy but I have to show him that I would not be taken for a ride. That I am not a moneybag. That I have dignity. I zip the bag up and spin around. My husband is staring at me. “Is everything all right with you, sweetheart?”
“Get out of my way.”
“Where are you going with that bag?”
“I need to clear my head.” I am still yelling.
“Can we talk first?” Biyi suggests.
“I don’t want to talk. Get out of my way.”
He moves out of my path. I swipe a hand across my face, smearing my cheeks with mascara. “Don’t look for me. I will be back when my head clears.” I rush out of the house, jump into my car. My rage doubles as the feminine scent permeates the car. He has been with a woman in my car. I feel like an idiot.

* * *

I pull up in front of Dayo’s mansion. Her husband’s Porsche is in the driveway, and the porch lights illuminate my dreary form as I reach the door. I ball my fists to knock, but a scream freezes the motion.
“Kill me!” I hear Dayo scream. “Good for nothing idiot. Womaniser of the century!” Whoa. Momentarily, I am unable to move. My hand hovers in the air. Dull thuds, muffled screams. Dennis curses. “I warned you never to serve me stew that is not freshly cooked!” “Am I your slave?” Dayo yells back. “If you want fresh stew, get your PA to cook it for you. Or you think I don’t know about her? You think…”
Dayo’s words are silenced by another thump. My hands fall to my side as a flurry of blows stifle her cries. I want call the police, do something…anything. But I cannot move. And so I shut my eyes tight and listen as my friend is pummelled by her husband. The beating stops. I should dash to my car, but something holds me back. “I am sorry I got you upset darling,” Dayo finally says. Her voice is laced with pain. “It is my fault. I should have cooked for you. I…Toni wouldn’t let me get off the phone…its her fault.”
“Next time you talk to me like that, I will tattoo a punch on your forehead,” Dennis growls. “Get into the kitchen and make me fresh stew. And do something about that leech you call a friend.”
That is enough for me. I sprint back to my car and drive home.

* * *
A knock sounds on the window. Biyi. I wind down and he gives me a smile. “Head clear now?” he asks. “Leave me alone,” I mutter. Dayo’s wonderful Denis beats her up? And she never mentioned?
“I will leave you alone in two seconds,” Biyi says. There is a twinkle in his eyes. “But first, get out of the car.” I oblige, grudgingly. “What?” He reaches under the car seat and pulls out a small basket. “I didn’t come home straight from the interview. I stopped over at the Perfume shop to get you this.” He hands the basket over. Inside is a range of exotic feminine perfumes and a small card. I pull the card open, read the words: “Thank you for your support during the hardest times of my life! I love you.”

“That’s why I was late,” he explains as he pulls me into a warm embrace. “You have been so good to me, Toni. I couldn’t have asked for a better wife.” I can’t reply. My throat is lumpy.
“When you left the house to clear your head, I got a call back from the recruiter,” he says with a beam. “God answers prayers, babe. I got the job. It’s a package you won’t believe. Let’s go in. I’ll tuck you into bed and you can tell me what’s bothering you?”

* * *
I awaken to a text message from Dayo. “Denis is flying me to Seychelles this weekend. This is what you get when you stand your ground. You have to be a no nonsense gurl! Don’t you just love my life? Ciao sweetheart xxx.”

I type a quick response back: “Ciao! and i deleted her number right away.

Now, this is one story every woman should read. The grass is never greener on the other side, best believe that. No matter how good a friend’s marriage it, NEVER EVER compare with yours. It’s DEADLY and could cost you so much!

by Abimbola Dare

LoVe and BeaUty

Love has nothing to do with looks..
Let’s think..
Most guys and girls even in the Christian community,
treat the search of love as a beauty contest.
For guys, the hottest girl they can get win their love.
For girls, the hottest guy that come along win their heart.

The argument is be both sided..

Nobody wants to marry someone who in their eyes is not attractive,
Yet, nobody wants to be liked just because of their looks cos it fades.

What can we do?

As a girl, do I give every guy that is interested in me a chance
in search of their character? or turn them down cos am not attracted to them?

As a Christian girl, chasing God with my whole heart should be my first priority until my man comes.

What if God’s will comes in the form of someone we are not attracted to?

How are we suppose to overlook this superficial dilemma?

As a man, Prov. 31 should be your guide in the search for your bride.

How can you overlook beauty to character?

Honestly, I don’t want to turn God’s will down.
I think buying into the world’s form of beauty has clouded
our vision to how God really sees beauty.

1 Sam 16:7 -But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height,
for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

God looks at the inside to determine beauty.
We should care more about the inside of the person.
The outward matters too but in time,
it will fade.

Charm is deceitful and beauty fades,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised-Prov 31:30

I really like to hear what you have to share on this topic, pls support your response with a bible verse.