I have conditioned my heart to only love you. I conditioned my thoughts to only think about you. I pray, I grow into the woman who will never disappoint you. I pray, I do you good all the days of my life. My heart beats for only God and you. You are the father of my future children. I can’t wait to meet you. I pray you love God more than me. I pray, we love God more than each other. I will close my eyes until God opens my eyes to you. I am ready for good and bad days with you. God first… Till we meet, I will wait for you!!!
We often think that maturity comes with age, but that’s not always the case. A man can be a boy at any age.
He has children that he is not taking care of: A real man takes care of his children even if it means paying child support. He is grown enough to take on his responsibility. On top of that he tries to be in his children’s lives.
He has 3 or more baby mamas: At some point a man has to realize that too many baby mama is too stressful to keep up. So he commits to one woman.
It’s a beauty contest with a boy: the pretty girl will always win. A man’s attraction goes beyond looks. Looks will get a man’s attention, but character, values will keep his attention.
A boy has no future goals: He lives with no purpose.
He is financially reckless: he has no savings, but he invests so much money in pimping his ride. He doesn’t understand the importance of budgeting, saving and future planning. He works, but he is constantly asking people for money.
A boy lives his life to impress others.
He sags his pants. There’s nothing mature about anyone who sags their pants.
You find yourself mothering him.
Spends his whole day playing play station.
He flirts with other women in front of you.You need a MAN and not a boy!!
This one is for my Nigerian sisters.
Don’t allow anyone force you into marriage especially when you know this person doesn’t love you and you don’t love the person.
Our culture defines women by their marital status.
That’s why a lot of women in our society are miserable in their marriages.
I rather be single and happy than married and miserable.
Culture is important but our happiness is also important.
As we all know marriage is a long term commitment.
Since marriage is a long term journey, you have to take your time with your decision.
Forget about your age and the pressure from your family.
Don’t let people plan your life and future for you.
Fight for the life you want by learning to make your own decisions.
*Please don’t make a lifelong decision hastily*
1. Don’t succumb to pressure
2. Take your time and make your own decision
3. Be honest with yourself. Does this man really love you like he claims? Does he show you he loves you? Do you love him? If he was disabled would you still love him?
4. Pray about your decision.
5. Educate yourself about love. Read books. Talk to people you know will always tell you the truth..
6. See both sides.
7. Make your decision.
We are not properties. We can make our OWN decisions without assistance!
Unlike other artists today, some of Michael Jackson’songs made sense like:
1. Man in the Mirror
The song is catchy but it makes plenty of sense. If you want to make the world a better place start by changing yourself. We can’t change the world until we change ourselves.
2. White or Black
In this song, Michael Jackson addressed the importance of judging people based on the content of their character and not the color of their skin. In this video, MJ included other cultures such as African, Chinese, Indian and others. MJ is one of a few artists who has included international cultures into his music video. We get lost in creativity of his songs that we undermine the real message behind it. Stop being Racist.
3. Heal the World
Can you imagine the world we would have if our focus was on making this world, a better place for future generations? It takes all of us working together as team to make sure our kids have a pollution free planet with less concern about global warming. We have a lot to do.
4. We are the world
Songs like these make me admire MJ because unlike other artists he cared about people, our world, helping others as shown in his music. These songs still touch people today cos we are not all evil there’s some good in us (I like to believe). Yes, people do some crazy things; however, there’s a part in us capable of good.
4. They don’t really care about us
Black people have been brutalized by white people in the name of ignorance. Yes, some whites in US and South Africa are still buying into that white supremacy inferiority complex mentality. I have nothing against white people, I just hate people exploiting others because they can.
To today’s artists: stop singing about drugs, sex, relationship and other nonsense you sing about. Learn from MJ and sing about stuff that will make an impact in people’s lives.
Condition your mind to see every man as a brother.
Why? Infidelity is toxic to marriage. You need to prepare your mind early that every guy is your brother. This will help keep your relationship with males in check before and after you are married. Even if you are engaged, you have to remember that this guy is your brother in Christ first, I know this is hard to do if you’re attracted to the person but you have to train your mind until after the wedding.
Be complete in Christ.
Why? Marriage and your husband can’t complete you. In fact, no one can complete us but God. If you are not happy now, trust me from what I have heard from couples, marriage wouldn’t make you any happier. To believe that someone will complete you is an absolute myth. Only God can fulfill us.
Pray for God’s choice of a mate..
Why? God knows us more than anyone, he is the best matchmaker cos he knows the person that will fix you best. Don’t pick someone and ask God for his blessing. Ask God, this person is interested in me is this the person you want me to marry. This is why it is very important we have a relationship with God where we can hear his voice clearly.
Be complete in Christ
Learn to Cook…
In American culture, it’s not a big deal if you don’t cook but in Nigerian culture, a woman who can’t cook is a disgrace to her family.
Start now to pray for your marriage
Abstain from sex till marriage- if you can have sex outside of marriage, you will have sex outside of your marriage. Studies show premarital sex increases risk for divorce–Read here– (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about_us/focus-findings/marriage/premarital-sex-and-divorce.aspx)
Learn to manage your money.. Please don’t bring children into this world with no plan how you will take care of them. It is your responsibility to take care of your kids not the government.
Set your mind and keep it set that when you marry that divorce is not an option. If you are engaged, tell your fiancé how does he feel about this concept? In cases of abuse where your life and your children’s life are threatened that is serious emergency situation and you need to take the necessary steps to get out of that situation.
Be honest about everything with the person you are about to marry. I mean it’s better they know all about your skeletons before you marry them. Especially for women, if any of your body part is fake please your fiancé deserves the right to know before he marries you. People put people in weird situations when they are not honest before marriage. Morale of the story: it will hurt you more later if you aren’t honest.
If you want kids, babysit other ppl’s kids to get a feel what it would be like to have your own kids. Do you even like kids?.. You need to know these things. If you don’t want kids pls don’t marry someone who wants kids cos you will definitely have conflict.
Know your character traits and develop the character traits that will help you in marriage. For example: if you are quick tempered, you need to work on that because if you don’t that might be a problem in your marriage.
Gain from wisdom from couples that have been married more than 30 years and still married
Don’t compare your life to others. You will never be content in your life. This is a very important concept: so when you do get married, you wouldn’t compare your husband and kids with another person.
Don’t compare your life with someone else
Use your words to build the people you love even when they hurt you.
Marry someone you sincerely love. Marrying someone who worships the ground you walk on will make you feel trapped in marriage if you don’t love that person equally.
Love yourself. You can’t love anyone until you love yourself.
Learn to forgive easily and quickly.
Enjoy yourself as a single so that after you get married you don’t feel like you are missing out on life. Your priority should change after you are married.
Learn to say “I am sorry”
20. Most important, ask God to prepare you to be that Proverbs 31 woman for your future husband and family!
