How to know a Nigerian man loves you?

1. You will know-Ladies, we have something special called “female intuition” and it wouldn’t lead you astray. If your judgment is not clouded by past hurts, trust issues, and premarital sex, you should be able to trust your female intuition. Most of the time when we ask people for relationship advice, we subconsciously want them to tell us something different from the truth we already know. You already know if he loves you or not.

2. If you are sexually active with him; tell him you want to abstain from sex for a little while and see how he responds to that. If he loves you, he will abstain genuinely without cheating on you with somebody else. If he doesn’t love you, he will definitely cheat on you. Personally, I think it is better to stay away from sex during your premarital relationship because sex will cloud your judgment.

3. If you are sexually active, bring up the topic about having kids and see his reaction. If he doesn’t love you, the idea of having kids with you will not seat well with him. Ask and see his reaction. If he sees a future with you, he most likely loves you.

4. Nigerian men value their families. If he you are the first girl to meet his family, he really loves you. If the Nigerian guy has the habit of bringing girls home then ignore this point. Nigerian families are evolving before if a guy brought someone to meet his family his intentions were clear.

5. Friends-if he brings you around his friends, it’s a good sign. When you meet his friends, you want to pay attention to how they treat you. If he is a player-type, they might treat you like one of his many girls. Be observant and make your own judgment.

7. Love yourself and you will know when you are loved.

1. Nigerian men are very intelligent. Be smart on how you deal with Nigerian men.
2. A Nigerian man will sleep with you and go back home(Nigeria) to marry a virgin.

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You can buy this beautiful African necklace wore in the video here.

Divorce is NOT an option!!

I am at the stage in my life where I am accepting applications for 9jaboy4real, if you are interested email me at [email protected] (only serious applications will be accepted, LOL!!). In a few years, I will be married and have children (by God’s grace). Even though, I am not yet married I am always thinking about what’s best for my children. What’s best for my children guides a lot of my decisions because if I like it or not; the decisions I make now will affect my children positively or negatively. I don’t want my children to suffer for the poor decisions I make in life.

I went to college with a guy who said that his dad lived down the street from his house but he refused to walk a few blocks to come see him. I saw the pain in that boy’s eyes from that day, I decided I’d never make a careless decision that will jeopardize my children’s happiness. I grew up with both my parents so I don’t fully understand what it means to only have one parent and rejection by another parent. I have heard of enough stories of children who felt abandoned by their father and I can’t imagine the emotional pain they go through every day. In life you can’t control what happens to you most of the time but what I can control I will.

Statistics are against children from broken homes. I have seen how broken families mess up children and I don’t want to put my children through that. Divorce affects the children more than it affects the parents. For the sake of my children, divorce can’t be an option.

Don’t get me wrong in the presence of verbal or physical abuse; divorce has to be an option because I need to stay alive to take care of my children. African women will do anything for their children and I am no different.
I don’t want to bring my children into an emotional mess. Each child deals with divorce in their own way. It is not God’s will for my children to be born into a broken home. My children deserve the right to have parents walking side by side to give them a better future.

To 9jaboy4real (whoever you are): Divorce is NOT an option!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Hottest blog post on 9jagirl4real (Results)..

I have 439 blog posts on 9jagirl4real.
Out of 439 blog posts on 9jagirl4real, you would be surprised to know that one particular blog gets the most attention.
Which one is it?

Stats from 5/25/13-5/25/14

Let’s make this easier to read..

Blog Views
Home Page 1,229
Nigerian Men 101 461
Nigerian vs. American Culture 264
Africa 101: African Fashion 259
Ted Talk Review: The Skill of Self Confidence by Dr. Ivan 146
Africa 101: Where do Africans live? 113

Let’s look at the top blog posts:

1 year bar

Why does Nigerian Men 101 have the most views?

1. It could be because it has the picture of Kerry Washington in it. Kerry Washington right now is hot cake because of Scandal.
2. Non-Nigerian women are curious about Nigerian men.
3. There are no resources out there to educate Non-Nigerian women about Nigerian Men.
4. Nigerian Men are hot and they are in demand.
5. It could also be that more Nigerian men are chasing after Non-Nigerian women.


It could be any of those reasons above. To be honest, I think this blog post gets the most views because women are actually searching for information about Nigerian men. You don’t believe me? Take a look at this..

The chart below shows Google referrals to my blog.
Search engines refer people to my blog base on their search topics or questions.
Look at the chart below and see how many times someone searched about dating Nigerian men..etc.

Nigerian men stats

I do apologize the chart is a little hard to see.
According to the Chart, it shows that Nigerian vs. American culture had the most search referrals.

If you look closely you will see searches such as: “dating a Nigerian man,” “dating Nigerian man” and “Dating Nigerian men.”

Out of 439 blog posts on 9jagirl4real-Nigerian Men 101: For Non-Nigerian women gets the most attention.

GOOD NEWS for a lot Single Nigerian Men: Women or Men are searching for you(I can’t tell if they are mostly females. I hope they are mostly females).

Myths Nigerians need to stop believing about America:

1. Money grows on trees– I know a lot of Nigerians don’t think like this but for those who believe this myth, please stop believing it. America has a lot of opportunities, but Nigerians have to come here and work hard for their money. Stop calling a student in the America to send money to you. If they are not working; they don’t have the money. Please try to believe that even if they are working that as a student, they wouldn’t have that much time to commit to work and making money.

2. People who travel aboard are better than you– There are insecure people who come back from America to Nigeria to act high and mighty. Truth is they are nothing and I don’t care how much money they have. Treat them the same. They will try to pretend that they have forgotten their native language, it’s not true. Now, if they have been in America for 15years or more, it is possible to forget the language if they didn’t speak with other natives but they should still be able to remember.

3. There is no poor person or places here– Everywhere you go you will see poor people and places. America is not exempted.

4. Nigerian girls and Nigerian guys are the same from back at home: I mean, they have the same mentality but with a little twist. Nigerian guys here are away from their mothers and family, so they have to learn to cook. You will be surprised how Nigerian guys can cook. The whole thing about woman cooking is slowing going out the window (women still need to know to cook). Nigerian girls here are very independent and not as dependent as they would have been on men in Nigeria.

5. We don’t eat our native food: There are some Nigerians who come back and act like they can’t eat Nigerian food anymore. Don’t mind them. We still eat Nigerian food here. It is a little expensive because we are limited as to where we can get the food stuff but we still eat it. Some places in the states might be different.

More to Come..

Nigerian Men 101: For Non-Nigerian women dating Nigerian Men..

If you’re a non-Nigerian woman dating a Nigerian man, here are some things you need to know about your Nigerian Man.

1. Your Nigerian Man values Education-Most Nigerian men are in foreign countries for education, sports or business. Since you are foreign, you most likely met him in your home country or a country foreign country to him.

2. Your Nigerian Man loves Soccer (fyi: we call it football)- I am yet to find a Nigerian man who doesn’t love soccer. Find out his favorite professional soccer team and support the team. The popular soccer teams are Arsenal, Chelsea, Barcelona and the list goes on.

3. Your Nigerian Man loves his family: if you get to meet his family, he is very serious about you. Nigerian men don’t joke with their families. To meet his family, you definitely want to leave a good impression. If his family approves of you, he will most likely marry you.

4. Your Nigerian Man’s language will tell you about his culture. If he says he is Igbo, Yoruba, Efik etc..etc. You want to read up on his culture. If he was raised in Nigeria, there are some cultural practices that he might still want to uphold. This cultural thing is more important when you meet his family, you don’t want to do anything to insult his parents or family members. Reading or asking him about his culture might be helpful to you down the road.

5. Your Nigerian Man loves his Nigerian food- you will find some Nigerian men here and there who do not like their Nigerian foods but I am yet to find one. If you want him to put a ring on it quicker, learn to cook his ethnic food and see what he will do. Most Nigerian men in foreign countries are learning or already know how to cook their ethnic food but you will impress him more if you learn to cook it or show some an interest.

More to Come… If you have any questions, please comment below or email me at [email protected]

Stop Pressuring Singles to Marry..

Leave us Single Women Alone..
Yes, I know the clock is ticking.
Since I was born this clock has been ticking and ticking..
Nobody should be pressured to make a lifelong commitment hastily.

People under pressure make dumb mistakes like marrying someone they didn’t want to marry.
Love is important in a marriage.
Unlike some of you in your marriages, I want to be happy in my marriage.
I just don’t want to tolerate my marriage because of the children.

As a Nigerian Woman at my age, it is absolutely a crime to be single.
As soon as a Nigerian woman graduates from college, she gets all sorts of pressure to get married.
I want to be married someday.
I want to have a husband and three beautiful children or four by God’s grace.
Marriage is not a joke.
Marriage is a long-term commitment.

Marriage is for LIFE.
As soon as I say “I do.” That is it!!
I don’t believe in divorce.
For a woman who doesn’t believe in DIVORCE, I need my space away from every pressure to make my decision.
A woman knows what she wants.
If I am still single at my age, OMG!!! The world is not ending.

A lot of women Marry for several reasons.
Not this Woman: I will only marry for LOVE and NOTHING ELSE.
No Single Woman can Force any man to love her and you CAN’T force her to love someone she doesn’t want because of a clock.
I rather wait patiently and be happy in my marriage than rush and be miserable.
Being Single is not A Crime..
You are not God.

Thugs and Nigerian Politicians

I love thugs but HATE the “thug life.”
I love Nigerian politicians but I HATE GREEDY, CORRUPT, SELFISH Nigerian Politicians.

Recently, a Nigerian governor told a widow “you are a widow, go and die.”
I mean, who says that?
I was shocked.
I couldn’t believe what I just watched.
For how long will my people suffer in the hands of wicked people, o God!
Clearly, this governor doesn’t care about his own people.

How can Nigerians move forward with people like this in office?
This woman was on her knees begging this man.
If this governor is not willing to help a widow on the streets, how he can help his whole state?
I am very concerned for the future of my country.

To governor Adams Oshiomhole: BIG SHAME ON YOU!!