Guess what? I have the solution to all our Nigerian problems.
You want to know?
We are the solution to our problems.
You heard me right.
You are the solution to your country’s problems.
Do you think the United States of America or China would be where they are today if they waited for foreigners to help them build their country?
NO!!!
Nigerians stop blaming politicians and start blaming yourselves.
We are the solution to our problems but we haven’t figured out the solution because we are not thinking outside the box.
I want to show you something to help you understand the importance of thinking outside the box.
Below, I have posted two video of young people who thought outside the box and brought solutions to their African Community.
1. This little boy found a way of saving lions and people in his community by thinking outside the box.
How did he do it? Watch the video to find out.
2. This African young man did something that surpises M.I.T professors by thinking outside the box. How did he do it? Watch the video to find out.
My people, our real problem is that we are not thinking. These young boys don’t have PHD degrees but they are making a difference. WHAT IS OUR EXCUSE? It’s time to start THINKING, NIGERIANS.
THINK NIGERIANS THINK!!!
WE HAVE THE SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEMS BUT WE NEED TO START THINKING!!
Did you know that your body releases a hormone called “cortisol” to help you deal with stress? Cortisol has negative effects on our body long term. My challenge for you is to live stress-free this year. Please add this goal to your New Year’s resolution. We all have one life to live and we can shorten our time on earth if we don’t reduce stress in our lives.
Here are some things I recommend you should do to de-stress:
1. Worry less-Worry doesn’t solve anything. In fact, it makes the problem worse.
2. Exercise-I know by exercising you are stressing your body but trust me, you will feel so much better if you exercise.
3. Sleep-If you don’t get enough sleep, it will affect your body at some point. Don’t play with sleep. SLEEP!
4. Laugh-Laughter is good medicine. Laugh and laugh again..
5. Do something you enjoy- if you enjoy playing soccer, hanging out with friends. Do it and make sure you include it in your schedule.
6. Count your blessings-You think you have it worse? There is somebody who has it worse than you.
7. Put things in perspective-see things from another angle for a change.
8. Learn to cast your cares unto God because he cares for you.
I hope you will add more to this list as you learn to live stress-free this year.
“I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate” –Ernest Henley
Without the skill of self-confidence we are useless.
Self-confidence: the ability or belief to believe in yourself to accomplish any task, no matter the odds, the difficulty or adversity.
Self-confidence can be trained by:
1. Repetition, repetition, repetition. Practice!
The problem with repetition is that we bail out after a few tries.
Don’t accept failure; repetition and persistence are key.
2. Self-talk- we all have this negative self-talk in our heads. Guess what? We have enough people saying “we can’t do it, we are not good enough.” Thoughts influence actions. The more we focus on the negative, we will start believing it. We need our own self affirmations. Get away from people who tear you down. We need our own self affirmations where we tell ourselves “I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate.”
-Write a letter to yourself of the things you are proud of and read it to yourself daily to reaffirm yourself.
STOP THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK.
Build confidence in others by-Praising the positive behaviors we want to reinforce.
Self-confident people interpret negative feedback the way they want to.
International Eagles of Nigeria: a blog to motivate Nigerians aboard to start giving back will be launched in March 2014. Please, if you are a Nigerian aboard or in Nigeria, I need your help. I need more creative young minds to join for more impact. We can do this! Our Country needs us.
I just got off from work. No, I am not as tired as I thought I would after working two shifts back to back. You know why I volunteered myself to do overtime.
I thank you for the miracle you are about to give me tomorrow. I can’t write everything I want to say to you on here because I am posting this one on my blog.
I am getting sleepy now.
No, I wouldn’t sleep yet still done talking to you.
Lord, please help me to love you more than my dreams, goals, visions, etc.
Help me to draw closer to you.
It’s crazy, I used to make more time for you in college with a busier schedule than I do now.
I know my time with you is priceless.
You are the essence of my life.
Let this heart only beat for you, oh God!
I am not done yet, but I am stopping here for the blog.
********
I got this creative idea from the book I am reading now.
Have you ever thought about starting a journal where you only write to God?
Try it!
Whenever I post pictures of my family on social media, the responses are always fun. The most common are, “Your son is so handsome!” or “What a beautiful family!” But one of the other common responses is, “Is your wife white?” People ask me at shows sometimes too. The answer is yes. My wife is a mix of Hungarian, Italian, and Polish—which to most people just means yes, she’s white. This is irrelevant to some, but shocking or even disappointing to others. I don’t think anyone should be shocked or disappointed by interracial marriages, but I still wanted to talk about why I married outside my “race.
The decision to marry someone from a different ethnic background wasn’t a tough one for me. I never sat down and wrote out a pros and cons list. Though if I did, the fact that my wife has never seen an episode of “Martin” would be in the con category. But honestly, I didn’t agonize over it or seek counsel about whether it was OK. I was convinced that she was the woman for me to marry, even though she wasn’t black.
Some would never consider marrying someone who wasn’t the same ethnicity as them, so let me tell you why I did.
Expectations
To be honest, I always expected to marry a black woman. I found women of all backgrounds beautiful, but black girls were my “preference.” But when I arrived on my college campus in 2006, I wasn’t looking for a wife at all. I just wanted to grow in my faith and get a good education. My first album had just come out, so I had plenty of other things to focus on. But as I met people at the school, a sophomore named Jessica really caught my attention and we became friends.
We ran in the same circles and we ended up joining the same church, so we saw each other a lot. And the more I got to know her, the more I was drawn to her. She really loved Jesus and she had this childlike willingness to do whatever He asked. Her compassion for needy people challenged me and she had a humble heart that responded to the Word. Over that first year, I watched her sacrifice countless hours of her time serving at our church. On top of all of that, I loved being around her. Our conversation, whether serious or silly, always flowed with ease. So I eventually started to ask myself, “Should I marry this girl?”
Preferences
Jessica didn’t look like I expected my future wife to look, but honestly that didn’t matter to me. Don’t get me wrong, I thought she was beautiful from the first time I met her. And I was never opposed to marrying a white girl. I just didn’t think I would. But as I grew in my faith and my heart changed, my preferences started changing too. My main preference was that my wife be godly, and Jessica was. So I wifed her.
Never for a moment did I feel like I was settling. It feels more like settling to overlook a godly woman merely because of her ethnicity. I never wanted to value my preferences for a wife over what I needed in a wife.
There’s nothing necessarily wrong with having preferences, but we have to hold them with an open hand. I know some people who overlook a potential godly spouse because they don’t fit some random preference. Some of our preferences really don’t matter that much. Some of our preferences may even be foolish, so we have to submit all of them to Scripture.
When you and your spouse are in the middle of conflict, skin tone doesn’t matter. Body type and social status seem insignificant. You want them to be godly and humble. And as my wife and I begin to raise our first child, I couldn’t be more grateful for her. She’s an amazing mom and a godly influence on my son—neither of which have anything to do with her ethnic background. It’s OK to want things in a spouse, but we have to submit our desires to what God wants for us in a spouse. What I wanted and needed most was a godly partner, and that’s exactly what God provided.
“Aspire to acquire the desire that you admire. But if in the process you perspire, don’t retire but refire to acquire that desire which you admire.” (Author Unknown)
Nigerians,
I laugh as I watch this video of our Nigerian Parents but deep down I am scared that some of us will use this parenting style to raise our kids.
A lot of Nigerians children including myself were raised with an authoritarian parenting style.
I learned in college that there are four types of parenting styles:
1. Authoritative: Here the parent set rules and boundaries. The parent is responsive and nurturing and the parent is less likely to control their kids by induction of shame, guilt or withdrawal of love (Source)
2. Authoritarian: Parents are very strict with their kids (Most Nigerians can relate)
3. Permissive: Parents act as a friend towards their kids.
4. Uninvolved: Parents don’t care about the child.
I grew up with parents who used authoritarian parenting style and I have seen its damaging effects. It scares me that more Nigerians couples and future parents will use this parenting style without questioning it.
I am pleading with you present/future Nigerian parents to use a different parenting style because an authoritarian parenting style doesn’t help kids develop emotionally. Based on my observation of myself and siblings, I can say this parenting style has different effects on children. For me, I noticed that I became emotionally distant from the people I love. Agreed, this parenting style produces obedient children but at the cost of their emotional development.
This parenting style produces negative results because God created parents to be nurtures not dictators. You can discipline your kids without withdrawing love from them. A lot of Nigerians think that discipline is a form of love and I completely agree, but discipline is not the only form of love.
Providing for your kids financially caters to their physical needs not their emotional needs. Nigerians parents, your kids need to know and feel loved by you. I knew my parents loved me by their actions but they didn’t do much to make me feel loved. This is why I hate this parenting style because it focuses more on discipline and neglects the emotional needs of children.
You need to balance the discipline with love. You need to make sure that your children feel loved. Cater to their emotional needs because it is important. You need to hug, kiss your child, talk and play with your children regularly this will help them with their emotional needs. Once in a while sit down and have a communication with them without scolding.
Again, your children knowing you love them is not enough; you need to physically hug, kiss, talk and play with your children to help them develop emotionally. Be affectionate towards your children. Children are a gift from God, enjoy the journey.
Rule of thumb: As the discipline goes up, the love needs to go up as well.
In summary: Discipline your kids and still be affectionate because it is important for their emotional development.
This is a good book to read on your journey to killing lust in your life.
You can also use this book as a devotional.
It’s only $2.99 to get it on your kindle.
