Author Archives: 9jagirl4real

Our Choices.. Our kids!!

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ImageI was talking to a girl who is pregnant and working in a fast food.
I thank God America takes good care of their children.
If I was having this conversation in Nigeria, God knows I would be crying.
How can a young girl raise up a child with a fast food paycheck? It’s impossible!
Completely Impossible!
I asked her about the child’s father, if he will do anything to support her when the baby is here.
She said, she wasn’t sure that she told him to get it together before the baby comes.

Ladies,
Babies don’t mature men; responsible men are responsible before they bring a child into this world.
Don’t expect anything to change if you decide for whatever reason to have a child with a man who is immature.
Ladies the decision you make affect will affect your child for the rest of their lives.
If we knew the power we have over our children’s’ life, we would be more careful with our decisions.
Even though, I have no kids now, I still have to think how my decisions will affect my kids.

If I choose to have kids out of wedlock will affect my kids.
If I choose to have kids with someone who doesn’t love me will affect my kids.
If I choose to have kids with someone who doesn’t want kids will affect my kids.
If I choose to have kids with someone I married will affect my kids.
If I choose to have kids with someone who is immature will affect my kids.

I want my kids to have a father and mother who love them living in the same house taking care of them.
I want my kids to have their father in their lives.
I want my kids to have everything they need to make them successful.
I want my girls to grow up to be intelligent, God-fearing, virtuous, strong and great contributors to our society.
I want my boys to grow to be like their father.

It may not happen how I want it to happen but I am not going to set myself for failure by having a child with someone whom I am not married to or not responsible.
To be honest, I don’t want baby-daddy drama. I don’t want to beg any guy to take care of their responsibility.
I want the best for my kids for this reason, I have to choose wisely.

Women your choices will affect your children. Choose wisely!!!

7 Sins You Should Never commit against a woman:

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Author: Unknown

7 SINS U MUST NEVER COMMIT AGAINST A WOMAN…
1. Don’t beat her
2. Don’t verbally abuse her
3. Don’t disrespect her
4. Don’t make her feel unloved
5. Don’t Rape her
6. Don’t cheat on her
7. Don’t ignore her Love Languages.

Give her kindness, she’ll give u LOVE
Give her smiles, she’ll give u laughter
Give her your heart, she’ll give u her LIFE
Give her a house, she’ll give u a HOME
Give her an idea, she will give you a plan.
Treat Her Like a Queen, She ll make u a KING.
LOVE her, and she’ll SUBMIT herself!
Sin against her and She will make your life miserable, good measure, pressed down, shaking together and Running over.

What defines a man? Does age, maturity or an intimate relationship with God define a man?

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My words to menblog post inspired me to ask this question.

Anonymously, I asked the coach of Unplugged this question.
I know what you are thinking.. Ironically, a female asked this question lol!
I love his answer so much, I had to share it.

Here is his answer:

To answer your question directly all 3 defines a man… age lets us know outwardly he’s a man, maturity lets us know he understands and applies what it takes to be a man and his relationship with God validates he’s a man. The issue is many of us men are only found to be men by meeting the age requirement only.

The definition of a man ultimately comes from what God originally defines a man to be… The tragedy happened at the fall where we lost that definition. And from that moment we have been trying to discover “what defines a man” only to find ourselves confused. Some believe that strictly being a male outwardly validates manhood some even take it a step further and say that they are a man based upon their occurred level of maturity or their accomplishments.

These things may to a degree help us understand manhood but until we have a thriving relationship with God we will never know what it takes to be a man and surprisingly we will never and I mean never match the original definition of a man we can only trust in the perfect man to help us in our discoveries and that perfect man is Jesus.

Answer by: Joshua Eze

You, Me and Him..

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This friend and I were very close until one day something happened.
I don’t know exactly what happened to be honest with you.
Fast Forward 5yrs later, I discover that she was not even a true friend.

I recently told her, I don’t want the friendship back to be honest..
I know this is wrong because the best way I can show God I love him is by loving this person.
My flesh doesn’t want to forgive but I have to  forgive.
I love God so much and I can’t let petty things like this destroy my relationship with God.
My relationship with God is more important.
The enemy will try to use anyone to get you to strive.

I can’t give God my rice and stew or pepper soup.
Choosing to forgive says to God, I love you so much that I can’t risk taking any chances with my relationship with you.
Don’t think about the offense; think about your relationship with God.

How many boyfriends can a Nigerian girl have?

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In this video, you see Nigerian girls describe how they have multiple boyfriends.
In summary these girls have two boyfriends, one to help them financially and the other one they love.

First of all, any girl can be a player.
Our economy is so bad that people have to do some crazy things to survive.
It is a poverty mentality, girls shouldn’t have multiple boyfriends.
There’s no way I can justify these girls’ actions; however, I will say if our economy was better and jobs were available for undergraduate students to support themselves. I doubt these girls would have chosen this way.
Life is Nigeria is amazing if you have rich parents or rough if your parents are poor.

It is safe to say Nigerian girls in Nigeria do what they have to do to survive.
Yes, this video insults me but who am I to judge?
Most guys watch this video and they automatically assume that all Nigerian girls are players.
That’s far from the truth.
Personally, I don’t think it is right to have more than one boyfriend.

Sister Girl, nobody will stop you from having your boyfriend(s)..
When you get pregnant or get an STD from this boyfriend(s).. na your wahala..
Abeg.. Be smart.. Close your legs. I hope you understand.

Do Africans like it here in the States?

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Do you like it here?

Americans love asking me this question. Why do you guys look surprise when I have say “there’s no place like home”?
This question has two answers  yes and no.

Africa 3mapYes, I like it here because my education is very important to me.
Education in the states is better than in Nigeria period.
Life is Nigeria as a single person would cost me an arm and a leg without a good job.
In the states, it will be easier for me to advance academically.
Life in the states is more stable.
Living in Nigeria, I wouldn’t know what to expect.
I love living with constant light, water and better roads.
Life in the states to be honest is amazing.
Americans are very generous people too.

On the flip side..

No, I now have to deal with racial discrimination.
Everybody in Nigeria is black; I didn’t have to deal with much discrimination.
I saw discrimination against people of low socioeconomic status in Nigeria.. That’s it!
I didn’t have to try so hard to get people to like me.
Some Americans are shallow, they choose to hate for the dumbest reasons.
I now deal with discrimination not only from whites but from blacks as well.
Plus, Americans have this one-sided national geographic view of Africans.

I lived in motherland for 12 years..
Yes, we do not have constant light and water to this day because of selfish politicians, but there’s a love in heart for my country and my people that no country can take away.

Yes, I’d have liked my life better in my country if the standard of education was better but I like it here in the states.

Living in Purity in an Impure World

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After reading this article, I had to share it.
Living pure in this world is a struggle for Christians too.

purity ring

In my childhood I faced some situations that no child should never go through.
The situation is so bad that I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
It’s not funny when your innocence is stolen away from you as a child.
If you knew what I went through, you’d be surprised why I am not promiscuous.

The enemy planned to ensnare me in my childhood…BUT GOD!
Parents prayerfully cover your children’s childhood because their childhood experiences might affect them for the rest of their lives.
I know homosexuality is a very sensitive topic but most of the gay guys I talk to said they were sexuality molested in their childhood.
Peoples childhood experiences are not a joke..
The enemy is strategic in his plan; he is not waiting till kids are grown to expose them to sex.
He is capturing them young to set them on a path to sexual promiscuity in their adult life.

Staying pure in an impure world is a struggle for every Christian..
I pray God continue to help us to stay pure for him..

 

You have No Excuse.. Go to School!!

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ImageI came into this amazing land of opportunity not knowing the amount of obstacles I’d  overcome.
As an international student with no assistance except from God and my family, school was rough.
Every semester, I’d stare at the amount of money I had to pay each semester and I’d just cry.
I didn’t know where the money would come from.
I come from a well to do family but I had other siblings in school as well.
Life was rough.
Somehow, God would provide a way that I was able to pay the first installment for my payment plan for the semester.
After I overcame that hurdle then I stare at the amount I had to spend to buy books.
My parents only worried about the school fees, somehow I was always responsible for my own books.

I’d search my school library first to see if they had the books I needed before I bought them in my college’s bookstore.
I remember finding some books but they were always several editions behind the books required for my classes.
You get the point; I didn’t buy books except I really needed them.

Sometimes, I would befriend people in class just so I could share their book. .
Sometimes, I would wait till I got to the class to listen to the professor before getting the txt book. If a professor was one of those who emphasized on reading the book, then most likely I would buy the book.
I remember going through my microbiology class without a textbook. Most of my science classes, I made sure I had a book because it’s science.

What am I trying to say?

When I graduated high school, I qualified for lots of scholarships and grants but just because I was international, I couldn’t take advantage of any of those grants and scholarships.
Financially, it would have been easier on me if I was an American student.

Most of my American friends don’t know how much I struggled in college to get my degree.
It’s puzzling to see  some American students choose partying over studying.
I couldn’t understand how someone could come to college with lots of scholarship and lose it in the first semester.
I am here struggling to find money to go to school and someone else is there wasting the money given to them for free.

If I was to get student loans, the interest rate alone would have killed me.

Americans schools are built to provide for their own, as it should. It does things to me when American students don’t understand what they have.

I couldn’t file for fafsa, plus I paid out of state. You guys have no excuse.

When I hear an American student complain of not having any money for school, I give them deaf ears because they have lots of assistance left, right and center..