African Proverbs about Love..

Afrolove

1. Falling in love is easy, staying in love is the hustle. (- Africa)

2. It is better to be loved than feared. (- Sierra Leone)

3. One doesn’t love another if one doesn’t accept anything from her. (- Chad, Niger, Nigeria- Kanuri/Bornu)

4. Love doesn’t listen to rumors.

5. Love is like a baby: it needs to be treated tenderly. (- Congo)

6. If a woman doesn’t love you, she calls you brother. (- Ivory CoastBaule)

7. People who love one another do not dwell on each other’s mistakes. (- Kenya- Gikuyu)

8. The house of a person we love is never far. (- Kenya- Gikuyu)

9. A letter from the heart can be read on the face. (- Kiswahili)

10. Love has to be shown by deeds, not words. (- Kiswahili)

11. Love doesn’t rely on physical features. (- Lesotho)

12. He who loves you; loves you with your dirt. (- Uganda- Ganda)

13. The way you got married isn’t the way you’ll get divorced. (- Haiti)

14. He who doesn’t like chattering women must stay a bachelor. (- Congo)

15. It is the habit that a child form at home, that follows them to their marriage. (- Nigeria)

16. If you marry a monkey for his wealth, the money goes and the monkey remains as is. (- Egypt)

17. Having beauty doesn’t mean understanding the perseverance of marriage. (- Africa)

18. If you do not travel, you will marry your own sister. (- Mozambique)

19. Marriage is like a groundnut: you have to crack them to see what is inside. (- Ghana- Akan)

20. The buttocks are like a married couple though there is constant friction between them; they will still love and live together. (- Africa)

21. He who marries a beauty marries trouble. (- Nigeria)

22. It is better to be married to an old lady than to remain unmarried. (- Uganda)

23. A woman who is not successful in her own marriage has no advice to give to her younger generations. (- Nigeria)

24. The man may be the head of the home but the wife is the heart. (- Kenya- Gikuyu)

25. He was entrapped by the evening, it has cost him his marriage. (- Bantu)

26. One who loves you, warns you. (- Uganda- Baganda)

27. Talking with one another is loving one another. (- Kenya)

For more African proverbs, please check out the below website.

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My Royal Nigerian Wedding..

RM 4Our invitation read “the parents …… and ….. request your presence at the joining of their children, Dr. Femi and Dr. Bola in holy matrimony.” Our wedding was the talk of town. Our wedding announcements were all over the news, blogs, and Nigerian websites. The single ladies envied me and gossiped about me in their domestic corners. Our guests were invited from all over the world. Our traditional wedding (cultural West-African) took place in a sophisticated island for the elites in Lagos, Nigeria. All six of my wedding planners were on stand-by making sure I was pleased on my dream day. Assorted wines were imported from France; even the goats killed for the occasion got a respectful death.

My husband is a US-trained brain surgeon. He is brilliantly sought after by the best of the best. He is naturally quiet in nature, but the grandeur of this day blew him away. Our guests were all given a uniform attire to grace our day in style. It was very amusing seeing our white friends in our traditional African attire. Our photographers, bloggers, and videographers were all imported from aboard. Presidents, Princes, and Princesses from different African countries honored our invitation. The best chefs and cooks served our eloquent dishes and Nigerian delicacies.

This is the wedding of my dream and I am not happy. The man I wanted was in his house drowning in his tears. I can’t stand the mere sight of him crying. I pleaded with him to understand. He cried, “What should I understand? Bola, I have dated you for six years and you are about to marry somebody else!! Why is this happening to me? I did not touch you from the very beginning because I wanted to marry..” (sobbing). We both cried and held each other. In my tears, I saw myself holding the man of my dreams while wearing another man’s engagement ring. My life became complicated.

Suku is a self-made millionaire with no college degree. My parents told me that they don’t want to associate themselves with an illiterate. I told them, he is not an illiterate, he is a millionaire. My father told me, “I am not interested in illiterate money.” For three years I pleaded with my parents to allow me to marry the man I loved, they refused. One precious day my mother blatantly scorned me about Suku saying she didn’t marry an illiterate and that only over her dead body would she allow me marry my love.

All Suku and I know to do these days is to hold each other and cry. He finally told me that he loved me so much that he will allow me to honor my parent’s wishes. I begged him not to give up on our love, he said, he wasn’t but he couldn’t watch me wait forever for an answer that will never come. We both cried for weeks when I told him that my parents agreed to Dr. Femi’s proposal to me. Dr. Femi is a great man with wonderful attributes; I already gave my heart to someone else. That guy my parents call an “illiterate” is the man of my dreams. He doesn’t have a college degree; he worked hard for every cent of his money. He built a multi-million naira business from scratch as an orphan.

This part is for my Nigerian ladies, who like me, are manipulated by their Nigerian parents to marry people they don’t want to marry. Don’t allow your Nigerian parents make the most important life decision for you. After the guests leave, the music stops, you take off your wedding dress, and marriage begins!! Life is too short to live with regrets. Make your own decisions, and take responsibility for the negative outcomes of your decisions. Your parents will one day die and leave you with your husband and you will have to figure it out. Don’t marry for status or to please anyone. I am not saying don’t listen to your parents, I am saying make your own decision and don’t let your parents make it for you. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.

Take your time and choose accordingly!!!

My marriage with Dr. Femi didn’t last.  The size of the love matters more than the size of the wedding. Money CAN’T buy happiness. Status CAN’T buy happiness.

I am back in the arms of the man of my dreams. I choose love. I choose Suku!

Respectfully yours,

Bola.

Edited by: Kelli Busbee

Please share this post to all your single Nigerian lady friends and like us on facebook!

My friendship with Mr. B..

Who is Mr. B? Mr. B is a childhood friend who attended the same after church service I attended when we were younger in Nigeria. He is now grown, smart and very fine in the United Kingdom. He doesn’t remember me from his childhood, so we had to get to know each other all over again.

Mr. B and I talked for a few months until something interesting happened. When Mr. B talked to me, I honestly thought he was talking to me as a friend with no strings attached until Mr. C came into the picture. Mr. C is his friend in the States. Mr. C started throwing games my way and Mr. B became jealous, I could tell. Mr. B didn’t know I was already interested in him, I wish he had said things in time. It was after Mr. C came into the picture was when I knew how Mr. B really felt. At the time I was very angry about the situation because I was put in this very weird situation.

Regardless, I have a lot of respect for Mr. B. If Mr. C didn’t come into the picture, I would still be talking to Mr. B as if nothing serious would happen. He later told me that his goal was to pursue friendship first. I absolutely respect that. Most guys who come into my life, don’t value friendship anymore. There are somethings about Mr. B I don’t like hey, nobody is perfect.  This guy rocks!!!  He could be playing me though, who knows?!

“As for life every turn of it has it reasons, and once we are in God’s calendar what was meant to be would always be”-Mr. B
Note to Mr. B:
None of this is relevant.

My Relationship with Mr. A..

Who knew my Mr. A would grow up to be so attractive with the cutest British accent?! He is so great looking now. That accent doesn’t help either.

 Since when we were little, Mr. A had crush on me. I could tell but he didn’t say a thing. Fast forward 19 yrs later, he still remembers my birthday and he finally told me, he had a crush on me when we were little. He was very close with my immediate brother, who is only one year older than me. I remember him as this short guy with a big head lol!!

He did his undergrad in Kenya and his master’s in the UK. He is very well rounded with a great sense of humor. I wish the childhood crush never left. He is a great catch.

Note to Mr. A:
It’s sad we are world’s apart, you have a very special place in my heart.
You remembered my birthday for 19years without even seeing me. My siblings don’t remember my birthday.
You have a great memory or you were indirectly still holding on to me. Who knows?!!
We might be in different continents, I will never forget you forever.

Love,
9jagirl4real

African Fashion: WILD CHILD

These pictures are from a Kenyan blogger called WILD CHILD. Check her out..

Wild child 1Wild child 2Wild Child 3

Wild Child 4
Wild Child 5Wild Child 6To all Africans, who promote Africa in a positive light: God bless you!!
Click here to visit WILD CHILD’s blog!

Four quick steps on how to become a successful Nigerian artist..

  1. Get someone to help you produce a catchy Afro beat. It’s very easy. Watch some Afro beats videos to get inspired. The beat must be upbeat and catchy!!!

    2. Listen to the beats and write some words about a woman backyard or beauty. The words must have some repetitive African words. You can make something up. Nobody will know.. Make you sure you add words like “baby” “Girl” “shake am”

    3. Make up a catchy dance that goes with your beats. It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s just a dance; however, it must be unique.

    4. Get half naked girls with big behinds to dance in your video. This is must if you want to become a very popular Nigerian.

    You are 4 steps away from becoming a popular Nigerian Artist. Your name will be known all over the world.

    What are you waiting for? You are 4 steps away from stardom. You don’t believe me? Check out this video!!

    As you can see anybody can become a popular Artist.

The Death Penalty for Men who marry Underage women in Nigeria..

Child-Not-BrideMarrying an underage child is prohibited in Nigeria, yet child marriages are prevalent in Nigeria.  Some people call it marriage, I call it slavery. A female child under the age of 18 is given off to marriage without her exercising her god-given right as a human being, that’s slavery. No parent should be allowed to give their underage child to marriage. These children are stripped of their rights to be children from a young age. Their innocence is stripped off as they are forced to experience things their underdeveloped brains can’t comprehend.

Life is in age stages.

Children are given off as young as 12 years old.
Do you know how immature I was at 12 years old?
At 27, I am still not ready to tie the knot.
That’s beside the point. Of all the things I hate about my country, child marriages is on my top list.
Any Christian or Muslim Man (more prevalent amongst Muslim men) who marries a girl under the age of 18 should get the death penalty.
The death penalty might seem too extreme; these men with their perverted heads deserve it.

Child marriages are inhumane and barbaric.
I hate when society flirt with the future of our children.
Some women even 18 years are not ready for marriage, how much more our little children?
These girls are children.
What sick demon in the form of a man would want to sleep with a child?
These men need a help because they are not normal.
Normal men marry women who are of age.

Why would you want a child who doesn’t know anything about anything?
Are beautiful, matured women scarce in Nigeria?
A man who marries a child needs to check in a psych hospital because he needs some serious help.

NO CHILD SHOULD BE FORCED INTO MARRIAGE.
EVERY MAN WHO MARRIES A CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF 18 SHOULD GET THE DEATH PENALTY.

We are not Animals. Even animals have more sense.

Enough is enough!!

It was YOU!!!

It was YOU…

A friend did something today that proved to me he loved me.
To some people it may seem minute but it meant the WORLD to me.
I thought about what he did and I almost tried.
This guy has been through the highs and the lows with me.
Instead of building you up, I broke you down because I was broken.
You are the friend I have been praying for years.
I don’t deserve friends like you in my life.
I’ve crippled our friendship with my insecurities yet you still stand by me.
You are my biggest fan.
You are the first person I call when someone breaks my heart.
You answer my calls at any time.
I don’t deserve you as friend.
You choose to stand by me with my flaws and all.
I pray I am as good a friend as you have been to me.
We are friend forever and nothing will ever come between us and our friendship.

I love you!!
I promise to love you with your flaws and all..
You are indeed my best friend.

We all need REAL friends! I am blessed to have one!

Happy Independence Nigeria

It is easy to get lost in a society that has a system that works. I don’t have to deal with NEPA; I drive on roads that have traffic lights that work. America has a system that works for its society and citizens. With the comforts this country provides, I still want to return to Nigeria and its broken system.  Nigeria, you have my heart and first allegiance.

Nigeria is yet to find a system that works for its country. Like other countries, we must go through our fight to find our system. Greed has taken over politicians, our children are becoming orphans, wives and husbands are turning into widows. The pains of Boko Haram have turned our country upside down. All we want is a savior to deliver us from our ailments, but none can be found.  Regardless of all the problems that plague us as a country, I am hopeful that things will get better.

BETTER NIGERIANS MAKE A BETTER NIGERIA!!  It’s time to heal Nigeria.

Happy Independence Day!!!