Coming to America 101 for Nigerians..

Coming to AmericaAfter 14 years in America, here’s my advice to my fellow Nigerians migrating to the United States of America. My advice is solely from my experience. This is not to negate the fact that your experiences might be different from mine.

1. Smile: Smiling is huge in the American culture. I remember a lot of Americans telling me that they thought I was “mean”(rude person) because I didn’t smile. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, smile because it shows that you are friendly.

2. If your name is hard to pronounce, be prepared for people to ask you if you have a nickname. I thought my name was simple until I came to the States. I had to teach a lot of Americans on the right way to pronounce my name. They asked me for a nickname, I say “no.” I hate people asking me for a nickname because it seemed like I was changing my name to fit their inability to pronounce my name. You can give them a nickname, that’s your call.

3. Be prepared to educate people on Africa: it depends on the types of people you meet. A lot of people are curious about Africans and Africa, so expect a lot of questions. Brush up on your African geography, history and be prepared to answer any questions. You will get intelligent questions as well, nothing tedious. Get ready. Don’t be surprised if somebody asks you if you have Ebola.

4. If you want attention, wear your African attire: you wear African attire like nothing back at home. Over here, people will look at you except you wear it in a place where they are familiar with African attires. You will get a lot of compliments for your African attires. Some Americans are intrigued by our African attires.

5. You have an accent-After 14 years in the States; Americans can still hear my accent. Americans will ask you a lot of questions about your accent.

6. If your friends invite you to the movies or somewhere that requires money. Don’t assume that because they invited you that there are responsible for paying. You are responsible for paying except they specifically tell you they will pay for you. If you don’t have money, let them know.

7.You can call everyone by their first names here, except for your teachers and boss. The whole Aunty and Uncle still apply for Nigerian adults here(at least for me).

Welcome to America!!! Buckle up, work hard, study hard and don’t forget to make Nigeria proud. Wink!!

Any questions? Please comment below or email me: [email protected]

Take a break from the norm: do something different this Valentine’s Day…

Businesses capitalize on special days to the point that it loses its luster.

"love should spur you with the feeling ike you can conquer the world"

“Your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.”-9jagirl4real

Valentine’s day is not about gifts: flowers, jewelry..etc.. Valentine’s day is a day to celebrate your relationship. There’s no universal way of celebrating Valentine’s day. Your relationship is different from other people’s relationship so your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.

Here are some 10 new ways you can spice up your Valentine’s day:

1. Love is priceless-Give each other a gift that money can’t buy

2.Be spontaneous by doing something different from your Valentine’s day tradition- if you always go out to eat, go out to a beautiful park in another city and have a picnic. Do something out the norm that will still bring meaning and satisfaction to your relationship.

3. Celebrate Valentine’s day every day 14th day of every month for the whole year or pick another date for your own valentine’s day.

4. Write each other secret love notes and let your partner find them in some unconventional places.

5. For married couples(because I don’t endorse premarital sex): have a quickie in a new spot.

6. If you can afford it: celebrate Valentine’s day in different country(Hint: An African Country).

7. Start a new relationship tradition.

8. Send your children an annoying Valentine’s day selfie.

9. Do something wild, crazy and still legal

10. Prank your kids for your amusement.

Where is my Gollibe?

Are you a single Nigerian guy? If yes, you most likely asked yourself this question after watching Flavour’s new music video. If you didn’t ask yourself this question, at least the question crossed your mind. Chai, be honest, na! I loved the message behind the video. It was brilliant and I personally think it’s one of Flavour’s best works; however, this video does not help single Nigerian ladies aboard.

I have lived in the States for 13 years now. 2 out of 3 Nigerian men I meet want to go back home to pick their wives. It is perfectly fine if you already had someone back at home. That’s a different story. Due to the influence of Nigerian movies, social media, and our old school Nigerian mentality these men feel like they have to go back home to find their wives.

                         New flash for Nigerian guys aboard: You can find Gollibe anywhere. 

Golibe

What is so special about Gollibe? She is innocent: simple, good-natured, kind and family oriented. Guys want Gollibe because of her inner beauty and wife qualities. Every guy deserves a Golibe. Most men can agree that they want a good natured girl.

If you are looking for a good natured girl, why would life geographically restrict the good girls from coming to the city? Good girls can be found anywhere. The idea that good girls can only be found in the village is a ludicrous thought. Ladies in the city should not be penalized for being in the city. More exposure doesn’t mean more venality. Bad girls are everywhere, the village is not exempted.

City ladies can be good as village ladies. Village girls can be equally bad. Even though Nigerian men are more inclined to look for Gollibe in the village, I implore you to use the same tactics you would use to find Gollibe in the village in the city and see if you wouldn’t be surprised. Give the ladies around you a sincere chance before you go searching in the village.

How do find your Golibe in the village? You ask your friends and family for recommendations. They give you who they recommend. You meet her. Hopefully, you observe and court her long enough to really know her. You don’t have any preconceived notions about her. You give her a fair chance. Why can’t you do the same for the ladies there in Yankee with you?

Don’t be intimidated by the independent Nigerian ladies aboard, you can find your Gollibe anywhere!!!

5 Types of Africans you will meet in your country:

1. An African who lived in, their home country for a long time and migrated to your home country as adults. These types of Africans are those who have stayed in your country for a long time, but their accent sounds as if they recently migrated to your country. They can lose their accents, but some of them choose not to. These types of Africans are more likely to hold onto their culture and practices. They are very traditional and still stay true African identity.

2. An African who came to your home country at a young age: this African can remember growing up in their home country.   They are a combination of their own country and your home country. They can tell the difference between living in their country and your own country. They have the best of both worlds. They will choose to stay true to their African roots, be fully immerged in your culture or both.

3. Africans who grew up in your home country: this African has never been to their parent’s country. They can only tell you  from what they have been told, heard or read. This African is a born-citizen of your country with an African name.

  1. Africans who just arrived from their home country: when you meet these ones you will know them right away. Give them time, they will get acclimated.
  1. Africans who have lived in your country for a long time and forgot about their African identity.

Next Post: How to communicate effectively with these different types of Africans.

Green Card Marriages: Don’t be a Victim

As a Nigerian blogger, I have avoided posting anything about green cards marriages for various reasons. I was fine with my reasons until someone left this comment.

That is true because I manipulated an American girl to get green card, and after I got her pregnant, I went back to Nigeria that to be with a another girl who turns out to be a gold digger.

When I saw that comment, I got angry as to why this person decided to infect my day with their comment. I am not discouraging anybody from posting comments but this comment carried a lot of weight which I have to address.

Every year men and women become victims to green card marriages in the name of love; however, it doesn’t mean that every foreigner you meet without a green card is after you for a green card. Personally, I think people shouldn’t marry for anything else but love. In the perfect world everyone marries for love. In reality, everybody marries for a lot of reason

There are obviously some things that you should watch out for-check out this amazing website that has some signs you should watch out for. I agree with 95% of the signs that the lady outlined that’s why I am sharing this link with you. This link also has lots of stories from people which I think you can benefit from.

Marriage is very complex and everybody’s case is different. Ladies, two things signs that you should clearly watch out for:

  1. He pushes you into the marriage: he threatens to leave the relationship if you don’t obey his demands. In this situation, he is only thinking about himself and not what’s best for the relationship. If he can’t wait, you have every right to question his intentions.
  2. He purposes before you meet him. If you are an intuitive person, trust your instincts. If something doesn’t seem right then you need to take a step back and reevaluate. Let your family members and friends meet him, if something is not right they will tell you. Don’t be so blinded by love that you ignore the truth.

Love yourself enough so you can recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of you. Take your time; don’t let anybody rush you to do anything you don’t want to do. Love is anything but selfish.

Marriage is not a joke especially with children involved. TAKE YOUR TIME!! Time will reveal the true character of a person. If you don’t have the time, let them go.
Wait! There’s hope: check out this story.

2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

To God be the Glory!!!!

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Happy Independence Day, NIGERIA!!!

boy_flag_painted_face

I pray for a country free of violence, corruption, hatred, hostility,and selfish politicians. Dreams without actions are a fantasy. What are you doing daily to help make Nigeria a better place?

Dear Mr. Someone,

I had it all typed out, I was going to disgrace you on my blog then I stopped myself because this is not my battle to fight. I hope you are not who I heard you are. If you are who they said you are I hope you soon learn from your mistakes and straighten up. I couldn’t believe my ears of the things I heard about you. It seems they were telling me something about someone else. If that’s really you, I pray God will fight for the people you have hurt. That is all for that one. If that’s not who you are then I am sorry for all the accusations. I can’t judge you. I leave you over to God for the people you have hurt. I am not hurt but I have learned a valuable lesson (and I can’t wait to share on my blog as soon as I can verify it). I am going to be the bigger person because the bible says you overcome evil with good. God bless you again.

I forgive you!!!

For those who are new to my “Dear Mr. Someone” series. This series are letter I write to real people in my life.

I refuse to be a Victim of my Past..

I had something that happened to me when I was younger. Now I am older, I see the enemy is trying to use my past to influence my future.  This is what I tell God in prayer, I refuse to be a victim of my past. I had no control over what happened to me. I was too young to understand the consequences of what happened. I refuse to be a victim of my past. I dare you today to pray the same prayer today.

Genesis 50:20 says “what the enemy meant for evil. God turned it around for God.” God is still in the turning around business. He can turn anything around for good. We have to make conscious decisions to never be victim of the past. Un-forgiveness, bitterness, or any negative effects the past has on you are not God’s will for your life. The past wins if you allow it to have a negative effect on your future.

Rom 8:37 says “In all these things we are overcomers through him who loves us.” We are already overcomers in Christ Jesus.

Don’t be a victim of your past. Overcome it with good. Let it make you better person. I refuse to be a victim of my past. What about You?

10 questions you should STOP asking Africans..

1. Your name is what? Ohh.. I can’t remember that. Can I call you…….? 

2. Can you say something in African? 

3. Do you know Simba? 

4. You are African? Kool!! What country is that? 

5. Did you have a zoo in your backyard? 

6. (Clicking noises)… What did I say? 

7. Do you like it here? 

8. Can you tell me a curse word in African? 

9. Is your Dad a King? 

10. Have you seen Coming to America?