The most important relationship:
1. Relationship with yourself
2. Relationship with God
3. Relationship with others.
If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself and God, it will affect your relationship with others.
Tag Archives: Life
Marriage Quote..
“The role of the female in a Christian Marriage is to be his helpmate. The role of the man is to find a good wife. In a relationship, if he is not doing anything for God; you have no obligation to help meet it.” -Unplugged
I refuse to be fake!!
How can you pray for a “real” man?
First of all..
Are your eye lashes real?
Are your boobs real?
Is your butt real?
Is that your real eye color?
How many layers of makeup are you wearing?
Is your hair real?
*********************
Well, Society.. I refuse to be fake.
I am beautiful the way God made me.
If that’s not good enough for you.. That’s Too Bad!!!
Let’s face the fact..
NO REAL MAN WANTS A FAKE WOMAN.
Killing Lust Series: Be Careful little Eyes what you see
When I was younger, my Sunday school teacher taught me this song. We have to be careful what we see. The bible says the person who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed a sin in their heart. Society encourages us to look. Guys and Girls look. There’s nothing wrong with looking but that second look will get you in trouble.
When you see someone attractive usually the first look is innocent but looking the second time is never innocent. Society has this cliché saying “look but don’t touch.” Well, if you are looking eventually you will touch. Lust has no restraints. We have to make sure our action is not encouraging lust in our lives.
We can’t control who we see initially but we have to control ourselves from taking that second look. We can’t do anything by ourselves. We need to ask daily to help us not to look at people lustfully. For with God nothing shall be impossible (Luke 1:37).
Stop Complaining Black Women: Learn their Tactics
Black Women, women of other races are taking the majority of your men. This is a serious problem for black women who love their black men. Complaining wouldn’t bring them back. Ladies, you need to start figuring out what is going on or you will lose all your men to other women (God forbid!).
Let’s Talk..
To have an edge over your competition, you have to study their tactics; however, there’s one fact you can’t change. You can’t change who black men are attracted to. There are some black men who are only attracted to black women, but there are some who are only attracted to women of other races and others who are attracted to both. We all have preferences. Everybody has the right to be with whomever they want to be with. No black man should be ridiculed for choosing a woman of another race. Thus, if a black man loves a woman of another race; we have to respect his decision because we can’t change it anyway. Why get mad over something you can’t change in the first place?
Instead of hating on women of other races, you need to start figuring out how to win the competition. So far, you are losing. Big time! If black men have a self hate thing going on that’s their cup of tea to figure out. Black women (especially in the states) have a bad reputation for being loud, obnoxious, and full of drama. So maybe these women are not taking our men. Maybe we are the ones chasing them away..
It’s time to start studying your competition and their tactics to win the game.
Side Note- Black Women, forget the competition, and start considering people outside your race!
Life Quote 412
“Aspire to acquire the desire that you admire. But if in the process you perspire, don’t retire but refire to acquire that desire which you admire.” (Author Unknown)
Reflect..
“The single hand that
wipes your tears during
your failures is better than
the countless hands that
come together to clap you
on your success.”-Mfon Abel Ekene
4 Present/Future Nigerian Parents
Nigerians,
I laugh as I watch this video of our Nigerian Parents but deep down I am scared that some of us will use this parenting style to raise our kids.
A lot of Nigerians children including myself were raised with an authoritarian parenting style.
I learned in college that there are four types of parenting styles:
1. Authoritative: Here the parent set rules and boundaries. The parent is responsive and nurturing and the parent is less likely to control their kids by induction of shame, guilt or withdrawal of love (Source)
2. Authoritarian: Parents are very strict with their kids (Most Nigerians can relate)
3. Permissive: Parents act as a friend towards their kids.
4. Uninvolved: Parents don’t care about the child.
Source: http://blog.lib.umn.edu/meyer769/myblog/2011/11/the-four-types-of-parenting-styles.html
I grew up with parents who used authoritarian parenting style and I have seen its damaging effects. It scares me that more Nigerians couples and future parents will use this parenting style without questioning it.
I am pleading with you present/future Nigerian parents to use a different parenting style because an authoritarian parenting style doesn’t help kids develop emotionally. Based on my observation of myself and siblings, I can say this parenting style has different effects on children. For me, I noticed that I became emotionally distant from the people I love. Agreed, this parenting style produces obedient children but at the cost of their emotional development.
This parenting style produces negative results because God created parents to be nurtures not dictators. You can discipline your kids without withdrawing love from them. A lot of Nigerians think that discipline is a form of love and I completely agree, but discipline is not the only form of love.
Providing for your kids financially caters to their physical needs not their emotional needs. Nigerians parents, your kids need to know and feel loved by you. I knew my parents loved me by their actions but they didn’t do much to make me feel loved. This is why I hate this parenting style because it focuses more on discipline and neglects the emotional needs of children.
You need to balance the discipline with love. You need to make sure that your children feel loved. Cater to their emotional needs because it is important. You need to hug, kiss your child, talk and play with your children regularly this will help them with their emotional needs. Once in a while sit down and have a communication with them without scolding.
Again, your children knowing you love them is not enough; you need to physically hug, kiss, talk and play with your children to help them develop emotionally. Be affectionate towards your children. Children are a gift from God, enjoy the journey.
Rule of thumb: As the discipline goes up, the love needs to go up as well.
In summary: Discipline your kids and still be affectionate because it is important for their emotional development.
A man doesn’t find a wife. He is led to her..
You will not believe the wealth of wisdom in this Video!!!
You have to watch this Video especially if you are single..
Ladies, our worth is in Christ!!
Nigerian vs. American Culture
Definition of culture: the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group:
(www.Dictionary.com)
I lived in Nigeria for 12years and in the states for 12years. Some differences I have noticed in Nigerian and American culture. I left Nigeria 12years ago, some things about Nigeria might be different but you will get the gist.
General Culture:
-Nigerian culture: grouped by language. Each language has its own culture. People who speak the same language share the same culture. For example: People who speak Yoruba language share the same culture.
-American culture: It’s really hard to sum up the American culture because it’s so diverse. The way people think in the North is not the way people think in the South. I think the social norms are similar across the states.
Social Norms
Nigerian: Can’t call your elders by their first name. Instead you say “Aunty” or “Uncle” even though they are not related to you. Professionally: Say “Madame” or “Sir”
American: Can call elders by their first name. Professionally: Say “Ma’am” or “Sir”
Family:
Nigerian Parents: Very strict and not affectionate. They are not open to meeting girlfriends or boyfriends except you are getting engaged to them.
American Parents: Lenient and more affectionate. They are open to meeting the people their kids are dating.
Kids:
Nigerian: Kids can live with their parents till they get married with full support from their parents.
American: legal adult age is 18 which mean their parents can kick them out of the house at this age. That’s why a lot of Americans are independent by this age. Their culture encourages independence by 18.
Education:
Nigerian: Value Education.. Education is HUGE in our Culture!!!! Uneducated people are undermined and look down upon.
American: Education is huge in American Culture as well but it varies among ethnic groups.
School
Nigerian: Nursery, Primary and Secondary school students are required to wear uniforms. University students can wear what they like. Teachers and senior students can punish junior students in Primary and secondary schools.
American: Private school students have to wear uniforms. Public students can wear what they like. University students can wear what they like.
Clothing:
Nigerian: When I was in Nigeria, it wasn’t socially acceptable for girls to wear pants but I think time is changing (it’s becoming more socially acceptable).
American: Women can wear pants. It’s socially acceptable for women to wear pants. It is very possible for a woman to wear pants all year without wearing skirts and dresses (very possible).
Shopping:
Nigerian: You can bargain prices and buy things at a lower price. Supermarkets you can’t bargain.
American: No bargaining. The price you see is what you pay except they are on sale or you have a coupon. People can bargain at auctions and stuff.
Misc-
Nigerian: Social economic class competitions.
American: Race Issues
Greetings:
Nigeria: Shake hands elders with both hands instead of one. Never greet an elder with a left hand. Showing respect to elders is very important in our culture.
American: Doesn’t really matter.
Please feel free to comment or email me [email protected]