Happy Independence Day, NIGERIA!!!

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I pray for a country free of violence, corruption, hatred, hostility,and selfish politicians. Dreams without actions are a fantasy. What are you doing daily to help make Nigeria a better place?

I refuse to be a Victim of my Past..

I had something that happened to me when I was younger. Now I am older, I see the enemy is trying to use my past to influence my future.  This is what I tell God in prayer, I refuse to be a victim of my past. I had no control over what happened to me. I was too young to understand the consequences of what happened. I refuse to be a victim of my past. I dare you today to pray the same prayer today.

Genesis 50:20 says “what the enemy meant for evil. God turned it around for God.” God is still in the turning around business. He can turn anything around for good. We have to make conscious decisions to never be victim of the past. Un-forgiveness, bitterness, or any negative effects the past has on you are not God’s will for your life. The past wins if you allow it to have a negative effect on your future.

Rom 8:37 says “In all these things we are overcomers through him who loves us.” We are already overcomers in Christ Jesus.

Don’t be a victim of your past. Overcome it with good. Let it make you better person. I refuse to be a victim of my past. What about You?

My African Childhood Memories..

We rolled old tires everywhere!!! African kids know how to create their own fun.

We played in the rain. The way Americans in the South play in the snow when it snows..

When it rains we will go outside and play in the rain. The way Americans in the South play in the snow when it snows..

ahh.. Fun Memories!!  "If you were born in January stand up"..(singing).

ahh.. Fun Memories!!
“If you were born in January stand up”..(singing).

My brother and me took turns to hold drive each other on our wheelbarrow.

My brother and me took turns to drive each other on our wheelbarrow.

We never complained about anything. We were thankful for everything.
We need to stop complaining and be more thankful.

Your Natural beauty is Beautiful..

Natural HairGoing from Relaxed to Natural hair means a huge change in appearance. Some people couldn’t even recognize me. Some oyiyo people stared at me like they just saw a ghost or something. Life as a natural is not easy for a lady with coarse, kinky and straight-up from the motherland kind of hair. The most amazing thing about this journey is you really find out who really likes you for you. My relaxed/transitioning hair styles were a pseudo version of me.

This is “me” now.. If you can’t accept me with my natural hair, then you are not supposed to be in my life.
My physical beauty with my natural hair is who I am. God blessed me with curly, coarse and thick hair.

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My Transitioning Hair

Ladies, we are beautiful the way God made us. You are beautiful with your kinky, curly, coarse hair.
We were raised to hate the natural way God made us, but God doesn’t make mistakes.
I miss my transitioning hair, but I love my natural beauty.

This natural hair journey will pressure you to work on your self-esteem. Starting this journey I noticed I didn’t get that much stares from guys. I found myself questioning if I made the right decision. This was an opportunity to tell myself that I am beautiful without getting validation from guys. It was my best way to build on my self-esteem because it allowed me to have more confidence in my inner beauty than my physical beauty.

Work on yourself, love yourself and move forward. We are beautiful!!!

For my Nigerian Sisters,

SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID 379 written by George Essien

Most African women marry for financial security and miss out on that beautiful feeling and joy called love. They live boring lives with a man they sincerely don’t connect with,enduring the marriage through the years.

Very few marry for love.And those who marry for love work out their financial security together and get it eventually,haven’t you noticed?Then they have the two – love and finance. Romance and finance.

My thoughts:

Forget that money thing..
Love is priceless o!
Your love is too expensive for money.

Please my Nigerian sisters,
you deserve to be happy.
I want you to be happy.
I am tired of seeing women maltreated in their marriages
Love, friendship, and commitment makes a difference.
Remember, you have to love him too.
If you don’t love him..don’t marry him because you will take his love for granted.

Love is PRICELESS!!

Is our dating culture setting us up for divorce?

Think about this question before you read my answer.

picture-of-me-3.pngWhen things don’t go our way in our relationships, we break up. A lot of people enter into relationships to see what they can get not what they can give. How is your dating relationship, preparing you for marriage? Are you learning to forgive each other? Are you learning the importance of communication? Marriage stands against everything this dating culture stands for. Marriage is about love and commitment. How many of us are truly committed to “forever”? Most people on their wedding days quote “till death do us part” but how many of them run out when issues come up. We are so used to breaking up that the idea of divorce doesn’t seem that bad to us. Is our breaking up habit setting us up for divorce later?

Here is a theory from a schoolmate..

“Ok, I have a theory. I am going to call it, Anderson’s 21st Century of Relationship and Marriage Dysfunction. Young adults in the 21st century under the age of forty, have a problem with the word “sacrifice.” In order to have and maintain a strong marriage and relationship sacrifice is a required necessary element! However, because of the power and innovation of technology, young adults have become selfish, self-centered, egotistical, and have developed the Burger King mentality of thinking “they can have it their way.”

Therefore, if they cannot have what they want, when, where, and how they want it, the relationship or marriage is rendered not worth it and a break up is effective immediately! Not to mention those who remain single past forty never been married or in a longstanding relationship because they say they couldn’t find anybody they were interested in; they did not once even question if whether or not there expectations were even slightly “unrealistic,” which…they usually were! To conclude my theory: selfishness and lack of sacrifice are destroying relationships and marriages in young adults in the 21st century! This is just part one of my theory!”- Justin  Anderson

Dear Mr. Someone,

Chai.. Where do I start? You are by far the most Amazing guy I have ever spoken to. Your heart for God and people makes you the most attractive guy I have come across on this planet. Since high school, I wrote down my kind of man. I’ve never met anyone who came close to that guy, but you proved me wrong. My kind of guy does exist. You don’t know this. After praying with you, I asked myself.. “Does God jinx people?” I couldn’t ask God this question so I asked myself. Periodically, I asked God “Lord, what is going on? How can you expect me not to like this guy? Did you bring him to see how much I love you, Lord?” I found myself praying about you in church. Thoughts of you filled my mind with the same questions. While the preacher was talking, I was questioning God “Why? What is going on?” I wish I had all the answers to all these questions. I can’t question God anymore; I just have to trust him. His will for us is so much greater than us. Help me Lord to trust you!!!

Why Africans look down on Black Americans?

After doing my research, I found four points were present in all the sources I reviewed. It became too redundant that it bored me.

4 Points I found in all my Sources:

1. Africans really think that Black-Americans are violent and lazy- One the sources clearly said that Africans are picking up the white’s fear of blacks (I thought this was very interesting).
2. Africans hate the fact that African-Americans blame slavery and racism for most of their problems.
3. Africans don’t understand why African-Americans don’t take advantage of the many opportunities available to them here in the States.
4. Africans think that a lot of Black-Americans are ignorant about Africa because they still have this primitive, old perception of Africans.

Of course this is not TRUE for all Africans. The four points above could be one of the reasons why Africans look down on Black Americans. All four points were found in all the sources I reviewed. Interesting points, I also found..

1. Africans know their identities are not easily offended when people try to put them down (found in the first source).
2. Africans and Black-American respond to adversity differently. Black-Americans blame the system while Africans are willing to do any jobs instead of blaming the system (found in the first source).
3. Africans receive better treatments from whites which angers Black-Americans (found in the second source).
4. Africans see education as a tool that open the doors within the American society(found in the second source).

The only thing that could undermine this research is that I did not review more sources. Honestly after two educational sources and a research based article with the same results… The light bulb came on.

Sources: Click below

Source 1
Source 2
Source 3

What do you guys think?

Clean Nigerian Music Videos 2014 Part 1

As a Christian it’s very important I don’t listen to everything. I love music so much especially Nigerian music. Recently, I noticed I can’t speak my native language fluently like I did ten years ago. Not speaking my native language fluently did things to me emotionally. Nigerian music helps in so many ways I can’t explain. I love being here in the States (especially with the fiasco with Boko Haram).  Nigerian music takes me back home, which makes it very special to me.

The problem with our music now is that it is getting more westernized. So we now see more Nigerian music videos with half naked girls, girls dancing as prostitutes and all sorts of nonsense. I love God so music with naked girls shaking their butts wouldn’t work for me. This list of Nigerian music videos is for Nigerians, Africans or anyone who appreciates Nigerian music without “the extras.”

1. Mama Africa by Bracket

2. Aye by Davido

3. Black is beautiful-Flavour

4. oh Baby by Chindinma ft Flavour