Don’t have babies for irresponsible guys who are not responsible for themselves. How can you expect an irresponsible guy to be responsible for someone when he is not responsible for himself?
Have some self-esteem: low esteem will make you do some crazy things to compensate for your low self-esteem
Take care of your child by yourself without his help-take responsibility of the fact that you had unprotected sex with a guy who couldn’t give you anything. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Own it and move on with your life.
Don’t have a baby for a man who clearly doesn’t like children: if he doesn’t like children how do you expect him to like your child. His child might change his mind(your call)
Don’t have babies for a man who doesn’t want babies- he doesn’t want kids, he doesn’t want kids.
Don’t have babies for a man who has children he is not taking care of-What makes you think he is going to take care of your kids?(If you can’t find an answer.. Don’t have kids for him)
Stop having unprotected sex with random guys: (If you must: use protection).
Know that any “baby-daddy” drama will affect your kids. Is it really worth it putting your kids through that? Save your child from 18 years of drama.
Abstain from sex till marriage
Listen to women’s stories about baby daddy’s drama. Learn from their mistakes.Your children deserve the best, please don’t put your children through this.
Nigerian Women, our sole purpose on earth is not to get married to a politician or a rich man. It is also not our duty to give any man a male child that’s God’s duty. A lot of us have the mentality of marrying rich because the present economic situation in Nigeria. A man who buys your heart with his money will use the same money to manipulate and control you in marriage except he loves you. Even when he loves you, he can still use his money to manipulate you. It is our duty to claim our rights in our society by fighting for it. I hope you are paying attention to what is happening in our society. A lot of rich Nigerian men can get away with anything when it comes to women by using their money. Nigerian women, they are using their money to manipulate you.
How can a politician have a mistress that his wife knows about? Why can’t his wife put her foot down against it? Why are we allowing our men to mistreat us and misuse us? I am aware that not all Nigerian men are this way. A woman should not go crying to her in-laws before her husband understand that he is hurting his wife. Most of these men who do these things do them because they know they can get away with it. Do men really value us as women or do they see us as the properties they can buy? (Please, answer this question). Nigerian women, we are responsible for our place in our society. If you don’t want a place in society continue allowing men to buy you like suya.
Enough is enough!! Nigerian Ladies, the way to solve your economic problem is not to marry a rich husband who can use his money to manipulate you. The way to solve this economic problem is not to sleep with men for job offers or salary. The only solution to this problem is for us to think independently outside the men in our lives. Stop thinking you need a man to maintain you. You can start your business (honestly, genuinely without sleeping with any man for funds). It is time for independent Nigerian women to emerge.
We can be financially stable without depending on any man. I don’t think it’s wrong to depend on your husband to provide for the family, but we need to stand up as Nigerian women and stop allowing these men to use their money to manipulate us.
SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID 379 written by George Essien
Most African women marry for financial security and miss out on that beautiful feeling and joy called love. They live boring lives with a man they sincerely don’t connect with,enduring the marriage through the years.
Very few marry for love.And those who marry for love work out their financial security together and get it eventually,haven’t you noticed?Then they have the two – love and finance. Romance and finance.
My thoughts:
Forget that money thing..
Love is priceless o!
Your love is too expensive for money.
Please my Nigerian sisters,
you deserve to be happy.
I want you to be happy.
I am tired of seeing women maltreated in their marriages
Love, friendship, and commitment makes a difference.
Remember, you have to love him too.
If you don’t love him..don’t marry him because you will take his love for granted.
-Masculine (huge muscles and all), Dark-skinned and everything masculine (nothing feminine)..
My man is the kind of man you look at and all you see is a “MAN!!”
I like my Man EXTRA, EXTRA MANLY with no trace of femininity.
Ladies, its very easy to focus on the physical characteristics of what we want in man that we forget the most important thing.
Looks are important too don’t get it twisted but character is more important.
Trust me, I want a man who looks good but most importantly I want a man who..
1. Loves God
2. Loves people
3. Great father
….etc.. etc..
His muscles will go through natural old age atrophy. His good looks will disappear one day. There’s more to love than just looks. Let’s forget about looks for a second. What kind of man do you want?
Please write it down..
Start by writing “I want a man who”
Example:
1. Provides for his family
2. Hardworking
3. Honest
4. Intelligent
5. Educated
6. Ambitious
7. Loves children
8. Wants to have his own family
9. Loves me
10. Cares about his children
11. Loves God
12. Not lazy
13. Has a job or working towards a career.
14. Treats me well
Write characteristics that really matter to you.
It makes no sense to have a good looking guy who has all the swag in the world but can’t provide or has no plans. If God gives you a man who has the important qualities and looks good too? Girl, you are blessed! I am tired of seeing ladies deduce their value for “looks.”
There’s no perfect man but somethings in life is more important than looks.
Think about this question before you read my answer.
When things don’t go our way in our relationships, we break up. A lot of people enter into relationships to see what they can get not what they can give. How is your dating relationship, preparing you for marriage? Are you learning to forgive each other? Are you learning the importance of communication? Marriage stands against everything this dating culture stands for. Marriage is about love and commitment. How many of us are truly committed to “forever”? Most people on their wedding days quote “till death do us part” but how many of them run out when issues come up. We are so used to breaking up that the idea of divorce doesn’t seem that bad to us. Is our breaking up habit setting us up for divorce later?
Here is a theory from a schoolmate..
“Ok, I have a theory. I am going to call it, Anderson’s 21st Century of Relationship and Marriage Dysfunction. Young adults in the 21st century under the age of forty, have a problem with the word “sacrifice.” In order to have and maintain a strong marriage and relationship sacrifice is a required necessary element! However, because of the power and innovation of technology, young adults have become selfish, self-centered, egotistical, and have developed the Burger King mentality of thinking “they can have it their way.”
Therefore, if they cannot have what they want, when, where, and how they want it, the relationship or marriage is rendered not worth it and a break up is effective immediately! Not to mention those who remain single past forty never been married or in a longstanding relationship because they say they couldn’t find anybody they were interested in; they did not once even question if whether or not there expectations were even slightly “unrealistic,” which…they usually were! To conclude my theory: selfishness and lack of sacrifice are destroying relationships and marriages in young adults in the 21st century! This is just part one of my theory!”- Justin Anderson
Chai.. Where do I start? You are by far the most Amazing guy I have ever spoken to. Your heart for God and people makes you the most attractive guy I have come across on this planet. Since high school, I wrote down my kind of man. I’ve never met anyone who came close to that guy, but you proved me wrong. My kind of guy does exist. You don’t know this. After praying with you, I asked myself.. “Does God jinx people?” I couldn’t ask God this question so I asked myself. Periodically, I asked God “Lord, what is going on? How can you expect me not to like this guy? Did you bring him to see how much I love you, Lord?” I found myself praying about you in church. Thoughts of you filled my mind with the same questions. While the preacher was talking, I was questioning God “Why? What is going on?” I wish I had all the answers to all these questions. I can’t question God anymore; I just have to trust him. His will for us is so much greater than us. Help me Lord to trust you!!!
After doing my research, I found four points were present in all the sources I reviewed. It became too redundant that it bored me.
4 Points I found in all my Sources:
1. Africans really think that Black-Americans are violent and lazy- One the sources clearly said that Africans are picking up the white’s fear of blacks (I thought this was very interesting).
2. Africans hate the fact that African-Americans blame slavery and racism for most of their problems.
3. Africans don’t understand why African-Americans don’t take advantage of the many opportunities available to them here in the States.
4. Africans think that a lot of Black-Americans are ignorant about Africa because they still have this primitive, old perception of Africans.
Of course this is not TRUE for all Africans. The four points above could be one of the reasons why Africans look down on Black Americans. All four points were found in all the sources I reviewed. Interesting points, I also found..
1. Africans know their identities are not easily offended when people try to put them down (found in the first source).
2. Africans and Black-American respond to adversity differently. Black-Americans blame the system while Africans are willing to do any jobs instead of blaming the system (found in the first source).
3. Africans receive better treatments from whites which angers Black-Americans (found in the second source).
4. Africans see education as a tool that open the doors within the American society(found in the second source).
The only thing that could undermine this research is that I did not review more sources. Honestly after two educational sources and a research based article with the same results… The light bulb came on.
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This one is for Nigerian guys who want to go back home to find a wife. First of all, I want to congratulate you on this big step. Finding a wife is not easy at all o! This post is really for Nigerian guys who call their parents or people they trust back at home to find them one innocent virgin girl for them to come home to marry. C’mon… Guys!! Come on!! I know the idea of finding one innocent girl to marry is intriguing, but wait one minute… How long do you know her? This post is coming from a special place because I hate seeing people hurt.
You called someone you trust to find you a lady who can cook you egusi and give you lots of babies doesn’t mean anything. They found you a lady who you can be a great wife and mother doesn’t mean she is the person they say she is. You are the person who will be spending the rest of your life with her (hopefully). Invest time and get to know who you are marrying. I know the people who gave you this recommendation have the best intentions for you doesn’t mean that this girl is on the same page as them.
Their recommendation is not enough… Get to know the lady you are marrying. It surprises how some guys will get a recommendation about a lady and marry her quickly. Marriage is not a joke. Going home to marry someone and bringing them overseas is a big commitment and sacrifice. You need to be sure of your decision. Don’t rush into the marriage. Get to know the person you are marrying for your own peace of mind.
When you marry people in general without investing the time to know the person for yourself, you are marrying at your own risk. The immigration battle is not worth it if you are not going to have a peace of mind in your marriage. I have heard of circumstances where a man has gone home to marry and the woman came over here to rip where she didn’t sow. People you know all your life can still tear you down, but don’t take that risk by not knowing the person you are marrying.
Risk is great but marriage is not the place for it. Before you go home to marry please get to know the person you are marrying for yourself. The people giving you these recommendations are not marrying her, you are. Be careful and choose wisely!!
-Masculine (huge muscles and all), Dark-skinned and everything masculine (nothing feminine)..
