SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID 379 written by George Essien
Most African women marry for financial security and miss out on that beautiful feeling and joy called love. They live boring lives with a man they sincerely don’t connect with,enduring the marriage through the years.
Very few marry for love.And those who marry for love work out their financial security together and get it eventually,haven’t you noticed?Then they have the two – love and finance. Romance and finance.
My thoughts:
Forget that money thing..
Love is priceless o!
Your love is too expensive for money.
Please my Nigerian sisters,
you deserve to be happy.
I want you to be happy.
I am tired of seeing women maltreated in their marriages
Love, friendship, and commitment makes a difference.
Remember, you have to love him too.
If you don’t love him..don’t marry him because you will take his love for granted.
A guy sent a girl this picture and asked her “Would go all out like this on your wedding day?”
Her response:
No that’s too much money to spend on a wedding. The decorations are breathtaking but I would rather invest more in my relationship with my husband (my marriage) or use that money to help people instead of wasting it on too much decorations. What about you? Would you go all out like that for your wedding?
His response:
Is whatever the Wife wants. Our wedding day is her day as long as it makes her happy and we can afford it. How can I try to bring happiness to others if I can’t bring happiness to the one closest to me? Charity begins at home abi.
My response:
Omo your wife is blessed o among women. I hope she realizes what she has and doesn’t take your beautiful amazing heart for granted.
I am at the stage in my life where I am accepting applications for 9jaboy4real, if you are interested email me at [email protected] (only serious applications will be accepted, LOL!!). In a few years, I will be married and have children (by God’s grace). Even though, I am not yet married I am always thinking about what’s best for my children. What’s best for my children guides a lot of my decisions because if I like it or not; the decisions I make now will affect my children positively or negatively. I don’t want my children to suffer for the poor decisions I make in life.
I went to college with a guy who said that his dad lived down the street from his house but he refused to walk a few blocks to come see him. I saw the pain in that boy’s eyes from that day, I decided I’d never make a careless decision that will jeopardize my children’s happiness. I grew up with both my parents so I don’t fully understand what it means to only have one parent and rejection by another parent. I have heard of enough stories of children who felt abandoned by their father and I can’t imagine the emotional pain they go through every day. In life you can’t control what happens to you most of the time but what I can control I will.
Statistics are against children from broken homes. I have seen how broken families mess up children and I don’t want to put my children through that. Divorce affects the children more than it affects the parents. For the sake of my children, divorce can’t be an option.
Don’t get me wrong in the presence of verbal or physical abuse; divorce has to be an option because I need to stay alive to take care of my children. African women will do anything for their children and I am no different.
I don’t want to bring my children into an emotional mess. Each child deals with divorce in their own way. It is not God’s will for my children to be born into a broken home. My children deserve the right to have parents walking side by side to give them a better future.
To 9jaboy4real (whoever you are): Divorce is NOT an option!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Music therapy is the use of music interventions to accomplish individual goals with a credential professional(American Music Therapy Association). Professionals use music interventions because it really works. When life gets rough, I use music therapy. No, I don’t go to a professional. I gather my own motivational songs and I do my own music therapy. We can all benefit from music therapy. We have different reasons why we listen to music. Sometimes in life we need that moment where we shut everybody out and listen to good relaxing music.
How to pick the songs for your Music therapy?
What are you struggling with? It could be pain. You might must to listen to songs about healing. Songs like “I am the Lord that healeth thee” by Don Moen
Are you struggling with disappointment? Songs like “God will make a way” by Don Moen could come in handy.
If you are not a Christian; pick songs that encourage you in order to get through. It is not the time to listen to depressing music or songs that make you feel worse. You definitely need a group of positive songs where you can always listen to feel uplifted.
Here is my go to songs for music therapy: It has the mixture of relaxing and uplifting songs.
1. Jonathan McReynolds – God Is Able
2. Yiruma-River runs through you.
3. Imagine Me-Kirk Franklin
4. Get Up-Mary Mary
5. I worship you by Mary Mary
6. Lifted by Frank Edwards
7. Soweto Gospel Choir ft Joe Praize-Mighty God
8. Heal the World-Michael Jackson
9. I then shall Live by Gaither Vocal Band
10. Never Give Up-Yolanda Adams
Make a playlist for your motivational songs and play them over and over again. When you are going through things, it is important you listen to encouraging and relaxing songs. We all use music in different ways; it’s time we use music for our benefit.
True loves says when everybody quits on you, I will ALWAYS be HERE fighting for you and us. A lot of people marry people emotionally only to find out they married for the wrong reasons. LOVE is too POWERFUL to QUIT!!
I have not been blogging a lot because I am at a stage in my life where I am questioning.. What’s next?
What is my next step?
This Tedx Talk encouraged me on so many levels, I had to share my notes.
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My Notes:
Find your Passion and inner Awesomeness by:
1. Knowing yourself-likes, dislikes..etc.
2. Embracing yourself
3. Surrounding yourself with encouraging people-the company you keep will dictate where you are going in life
4. Knowing what you want
5. Working your butt off- Be willing to lose sleep.
6. Making impossible the new possible
7. Failing hard and failing often
8. Beating on your craft-keep working on your craft until you perfect it.
9. Learning to embrace confrontation
10. Doing what is right
*Your inner awesomeness is already in the inside of you*
Guess what? I have the solution to all our Nigerian problems.
You want to know?
We are the solution to our problems.
You heard me right.
You are the solution to your country’s problems.
Do you think the United States of America or China would be where they are today if they waited for foreigners to help them build their country?
NO!!!
Nigerians stop blaming politicians and start blaming yourselves.
We are the solution to our problems but we haven’t figured out the solution because we are not thinking outside the box.
I want to show you something to help you understand the importance of thinking outside the box.
Below, I have posted two video of young people who thought outside the box and brought solutions to their African Community.
1. This little boy found a way of saving lions and people in his community by thinking outside the box.
How did he do it? Watch the video to find out.
2. This African young man did something that surpises M.I.T professors by thinking outside the box. How did he do it? Watch the video to find out.
My people, our real problem is that we are not thinking. These young boys don’t have PHD degrees but they are making a difference. WHAT IS OUR EXCUSE? It’s time to start THINKING, NIGERIANS.
THINK NIGERIANS THINK!!!
WE HAVE THE SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEMS BUT WE NEED TO START THINKING!!
Did you know that your body releases a hormone called “cortisol” to help you deal with stress? Cortisol has negative effects on our body long term. My challenge for you is to live stress-free this year. Please add this goal to your New Year’s resolution. We all have one life to live and we can shorten our time on earth if we don’t reduce stress in our lives.
Here are some things I recommend you should do to de-stress:
1. Worry less-Worry doesn’t solve anything. In fact, it makes the problem worse.
2. Exercise-I know by exercising you are stressing your body but trust me, you will feel so much better if you exercise.
3. Sleep-If you don’t get enough sleep, it will affect your body at some point. Don’t play with sleep. SLEEP!
4. Laugh-Laughter is good medicine. Laugh and laugh again..
5. Do something you enjoy- if you enjoy playing soccer, hanging out with friends. Do it and make sure you include it in your schedule.
6. Count your blessings-You think you have it worse? There is somebody who has it worse than you.
7. Put things in perspective-see things from another angle for a change.
8. Learn to cast your cares unto God because he cares for you.
I hope you will add more to this list as you learn to live stress-free this year.