Tag Archives: Advice

Where is my Gollibe?

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Are you a single Nigerian guy? If yes, you most likely asked yourself this question after watching Flavour’s new music video. If you didn’t ask yourself this question, at least the question crossed your mind. Chai, be honest, na! I loved the message behind the video. It was brilliant and I personally think it’s one of Flavour’s best works; however, this video does not help single Nigerian ladies aboard.

I have lived in the States for 13 years now. 2 out of 3 Nigerian men I meet want to go back home to pick their wives. It is perfectly fine if you already had someone back at home. That’s a different story. Due to the influence of Nigerian movies, social media, and our old school Nigerian mentality these men feel like they have to go back home to find their wives.

                         New flash for Nigerian guys aboard: You can find Gollibe anywhere. 

Golibe

What is so special about Gollibe? She is innocent: simple, good-natured, kind and family oriented. Guys want Gollibe because of her inner beauty and wife qualities. Every guy deserves a Golibe. Most men can agree that they want a good natured girl.

If you are looking for a good natured girl, why would life geographically restrict the good girls from coming to the city? Good girls can be found anywhere. The idea that good girls can only be found in the village is a ludicrous thought. Ladies in the city should not be penalized for being in the city. More exposure doesn’t mean more venality. Bad girls are everywhere, the village is not exempted.

City ladies can be good as village ladies. Village girls can be equally bad. Even though Nigerian men are more inclined to look for Gollibe in the village, I implore you to use the same tactics you would use to find Gollibe in the village in the city and see if you wouldn’t be surprised. Give the ladies around you a sincere chance before you go searching in the village.

How do find your Golibe in the village? You ask your friends and family for recommendations. They give you who they recommend. You meet her. Hopefully, you observe and court her long enough to really know her. You don’t have any preconceived notions about her. You give her a fair chance. Why can’t you do the same for the ladies there in Yankee with you?

Don’t be intimidated by the independent Nigerian ladies aboard, you can find your Gollibe anywhere!!!

Don’t Marry for these Reasons by John Dumelo

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Don’t marry for sex.
Don’t marry because you are of age.
Don’t marry because you are getting old.
Don’t marry because you are lonely.
Don’t marry because you need someone to support you financially.
Don’t marry because you mistakenly got pregnant.
Don’t marry because you don’t want to lose the person.
Don’t marry because of family pressures.
Don’t marry because you like the idea of marriage and admire every wedding gown you see.
Don’t marry because all your friends are getting married.
But get married because you are in love.
Get married because he or she is your best friend and when that love is no more, he or she can still make u smile…..?#?somedayiwillgetmarried?

Green Card Marriages: Don’t be a Victim

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As a Nigerian blogger, I have avoided posting anything about green cards marriages for various reasons. I was fine with my reasons until someone left this comment.

That is true because I manipulated an American girl to get green card, and after I got her pregnant, I went back to Nigeria that to be with a another girl who turns out to be a gold digger.

When I saw that comment, I got angry as to why this person decided to infect my day with their comment. I am not discouraging anybody from posting comments but this comment carried a lot of weight which I have to address.

Every year men and women become victims to green card marriages in the name of love; however, it doesn’t mean that every foreigner you meet without a green card is after you for a green card. Personally, I think people shouldn’t marry for anything else but love. In the perfect world everyone marries for love. In reality, everybody marries for a lot of reason

There are obviously some things that you should watch out for-check out this amazing website that has some signs you should watch out for. I agree with 95% of the signs that the lady outlined that’s why I am sharing this link with you. This link also has lots of stories from people which I think you can benefit from.

Marriage is very complex and everybody’s case is different. Ladies, two things signs that you should clearly watch out for:

  1. He pushes you into the marriage: he threatens to leave the relationship if you don’t obey his demands. In this situation, he is only thinking about himself and not what’s best for the relationship. If he can’t wait, you have every right to question his intentions.
  2. He purposes before you meet him. If you are an intuitive person, trust your instincts. If something doesn’t seem right then you need to take a step back and reevaluate. Let your family members and friends meet him, if something is not right they will tell you. Don’t be so blinded by love that you ignore the truth.

Love yourself enough so you can recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of you. Take your time; don’t let anybody rush you to do anything you don’t want to do. Love is anything but selfish.

Marriage is not a joke especially with children involved. TAKE YOUR TIME!! Time will reveal the true character of a person. If you don’t have the time, let them go.
Wait! There’s hope: check out this story.

2015 Music Challenge for Popular Nigerian Artists: Say No to Nyash Music..

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bankyMusic Challenge 1: Make a song that has nothing to do with a woman’s behind and breasts. We have enough songs about our women body part. I think we can all agree that our women are blessed.

Music Challenge 2: Make a song about our corrupt political system that is putting our country behind. It makes no sense to be singing about sex, butts, breast when our people are suffering. Your afro-beats are contagious. It is time to  use your talent to cause a change reaction in our country.

Music Challenge 3: Make a song in a village setting different from your ethnic group. Nigeria has many different cultures that is not yet represented in our music. Learn the culture and showcase their culture in your next music video.

Music Challenge 4: Collaborate with other artists to make a song that unites us. A song for peace and not war, we are currently fighting the war against Boko Haram. Show some support for the children who were kidnapped.

Music Challenge 5: Make a song that is completely different from what your fans are used to. You need to reinvent yourself to stay relevant. Afro-artists can’t be placed in a box. Fans want to hear song different from the norm.

Music Challenge 6: Showcase some young people in your videos who are doing great things in their academics or community. Let your songs send a positive message to society.

Music Challenge 7: After you have made all the money. Please think about the people. Think about your country.

For the Love of Nigeria.. NO MORE BOOTY SONGS. Say No to Nyash Music in 2015…

2014 in review

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

To God be the Glory!!!!

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

10 Ways to Avoid a Baby’s daddy drama..

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  1. Don’t have babies for irresponsible guys who are not responsible for themselves. How can you expect an irresponsible guy to be responsible for someone when he is not responsible for himself?
  2. Have some self-esteem: low esteem will make you do some crazy things to compensate for your low self-esteem
  1. Take care of your child by yourself without his help-take responsibility of the fact that you had unprotected sex with a guy who couldn’t give you anything. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Own it and move on with your life.
  2. Don’t have a baby for a man who clearly doesn’t like children: if he doesn’t like children how do you expect him to like your child. His child might change his mind(your call)
  3. Don’t have babies for a man who doesn’t want babies- he doesn’t want kids, he doesn’t want kids.
  4. Don’t have babies for a man who has children he is not taking care of-What makes you think he is going to take care of your kids?(If you can’t find an answer.. Don’t have kids for him)
  5. Stop having unprotected sex with random guys: (If you must: use protection).
  6. Know that any “baby-daddy” drama will affect your kids. Is it really worth it putting your kids through that? Save your child from 18 years of drama.
  7. Abstain from sex till marriage
  8. Listen to women’s stories about baby daddy’s drama. Learn from their mistakes.Your children deserve the best, please don’t put your children through this.

Nigerian Men are buying Nigerian Women like Suya..

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Woman Holding BanknotesNigerian Women, our sole purpose on earth is not to get married to a politician or a rich man. It is also not our duty to give any man a male child that’s God’s duty. A lot of us have the mentality of marrying rich because the present economic situation in Nigeria. A man who buys your heart with his money will use the same money to manipulate and control you in marriage except he loves you. Even when he loves you, he can still use his money to manipulate you. It is our duty to claim our rights in our society by fighting for it. I hope you are paying attention to what is happening in our society. A lot of rich Nigerian men can get away with anything when it comes to women by using their money. Nigerian women, they are using their money to manipulate you.

How can a politician have a mistress that his wife knows about? Why can’t his wife put her foot down against it? Why are we allowing our men to mistreat us and misuse us? I am aware that not all Nigerian men are this way. A woman should not go crying to her in-laws before her husband understand that he is hurting his wife. Most of these men who do these things do them because they know they can get away with it. Do men really value us as women or do they see us as the properties they can buy? (Please, answer this question). Nigerian women, we are responsible for our place in our society. If you don’t want a place in society continue allowing men to buy you like suya.

Enough is enough!! Nigerian Ladies, the way to solve your economic problem is not to marry a rich husband who can use his money to manipulate you. The way to solve this economic problem is not to sleep with men for job offers or salary. The only solution to this problem is for us to think independently outside the men in our lives. Stop thinking you need a man to maintain you. You can start your business (honestly, genuinely without sleeping with any man for funds). It is time for independent Nigerian women to emerge.

We can be financially stable without depending on any man. I don’t think it’s wrong to depend on your husband to provide for the family, but we need to stand up as Nigerian women and stop allowing these men to use their money to manipulate us.

Money doesn’t equal happiness.