Things you do as a teenager that you will regret when you get older:

  1. Smoking-it might look “cool” to smoke among your peers, but it is setting you up for a lifetime of smoking addiction. Everything you do as a teenager is not always “kool.” One day you will grow up to regret it. Google the consequences of smoking and see what you are exposing yourself to. Smoking increases your chances of various health problems. If you don’t want to listen to me just make sure you have a good health insurance.

    2. Smoking illegal circumstances: again might seem “kool” now that you are young but you can’t find a legit job when you get older. You can be a genius and become a business owner, but when you are hooked on this stuff you will be doing business to support your drug addiction. Smoking illegal substances opens the door to extreme poverty and bad judgment. Your teenage friends don’t know how smoking these illegal substances will affect you for the rest of our life. Don’t believe me: Get ready to fail some drug tests. If you can’t pass your drug test, you wouldn’t be able to get a legit job. Hello, poverty!!

    3. Bullying the nerdy kids-guess what? Nerds are smart. What do we know about smart people? Smart, nerdy people make money. When the nerd you bullied in high school ends up being your boss (you will regret ever bully nerdy kids).   Bully shouldn’t take place in our schools; however, it is happening. We should all take a stand against bullying. You don’t know people’s future. The nerd you bullied could be the next president. If you like it or not, you will always regret bullying that nerd because the nerd will always win!

    4. Joining a gang: only gets you up for time in prison. Are you in a gang? Enjoy your life now as a free kid because you will soon sleep in a room right next to your toilet. Don’t allow your peers to fool you; being in a gang makes you weak. Nothing positive comes from being in a gang. Smell the roses now because you will soon be sitting in a juvenile prison regretting your actions. Nobody is greater than the law.

    5.Dropping out of High school– Yes, you can always go back and get your GED. People still regret the actions that lead them to drop out.

6. Having a baby: you are not financially, psychologically ready for the stress that comes with having a baby. You are a baby having a baby. The responsibility that comes with having a baby is one that you are absolutely not ready for. Your whole life changes when you have a baby. Your baby becomes the center of your world. A lot of teenagers regret having a baby this young.

7. Getting married-As a teenager, you are still growing and learning about the world and love. You will soon find out that the person you are in high school is not the person will you become after college. You are still growing. Give yourself time to grow. Your body is going through changes. Your hormones are raging. Getting married now is only something you will regret later.

10 Ways to Avoid a Baby’s daddy drama..

  1. Don’t have babies for irresponsible guys who are not responsible for themselves. How can you expect an irresponsible guy to be responsible for someone when he is not responsible for himself?
  2. Have some self-esteem: low esteem will make you do some crazy things to compensate for your low self-esteem
  1. Take care of your child by yourself without his help-take responsibility of the fact that you had unprotected sex with a guy who couldn’t give you anything. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Own it and move on with your life.
  2. Don’t have a baby for a man who clearly doesn’t like children: if he doesn’t like children how do you expect him to like your child. His child might change his mind(your call)
  3. Don’t have babies for a man who doesn’t want babies- he doesn’t want kids, he doesn’t want kids.
  4. Don’t have babies for a man who has children he is not taking care of-What makes you think he is going to take care of your kids?(If you can’t find an answer.. Don’t have kids for him)
  5. Stop having unprotected sex with random guys: (If you must: use protection).
  6. Know that any “baby-daddy” drama will affect your kids. Is it really worth it putting your kids through that? Save your child from 18 years of drama.
  7. Abstain from sex till marriage
  8. Listen to women’s stories about baby daddy’s drama. Learn from their mistakes.Your children deserve the best, please don’t put your children through this.

Words of Wisdom to Black American Women about American Men..

I am reading this book “Why I love Black women by Michael Dyson” and I will do a book review soon. Love this book.

Here are some wise quotes from this book..

“I think a lot of Sisters are just looking in the wrong places and settling for all the wrong things..money and cars. If they only knew the best man to find is one that truly loves God, because if he does, he can’t help himself but love you.”

“Learn to love yourself which will protect you being vulnerable to men who seek to disrespect, reject, or misuse women”

I am tired of hearing about black men mistreating their women so I will be posting information on this blog to empower women. We need to love ourselves enough to walk out of abusive relationships.

More to come..

It’s not a woman’s job to find her husband..

It’s a taboo to be Single and Nigerian. A guy told me the other day “Hey, you need to go out and start meeting people” to increase my chances of meeting Mr. Right to marry.
People, please help me answer this question..
IS IT A WOMAN’s Responsibility to find her husband?
Why does everybody at a certain stage in woman’s life metamorphose to relationship experts?
LEAVE US SINGLE LADIES ALONE..
Please, marriage is not by force.
Again, it is not a woman’s job to find her husband.
I pursue God and he will bless me at his own time.
I REFUSE to go out searching..

Nigerian women we need to watch who we talk to..
It is not a woman’s job to go searching for her husband.
If he can’t find me when I travel, work, church or wherever I am then he is not for me.

Rush into marriage and rush out..

Our choice right?

Dear Mr. Someone,

7/3/14

I can’t wait to meet you but I have to be sold out to our creator first. Life has been tough the last few days. First of all, I am sorry I stopped writing to you. I will start back because it gives me solace.

I am sitting on my bed waiting for your mother-in-law to wake up so I can go to the gym. I have had many counterfeits come into my life pretending to be “you.” I knew they were not you because I will know when I meet you. I can’t wait to meet you baby. 

I pray God makes me a better woman for you and our children. It’s still early in the morning; the birds are singing early morning songs to God. I have not met you yet but my heart is full of joy that you are praying for me baby. Pray for me o.. Your baby needs it. I want more for us and our family. I think the reason we haven’t met yet is because I am still growing in Christ and I have to continue grow. I am blessed to have you in my life.

Nigerian Report Card: Nigerian Wedding Dance 2014

Nigerians, its time to report to class for your Nigerian Report Card. 

We start this series off by grading Nigerians Wedding Dance 2014 on Youtube. The categories on how the dances will be graded are: 

1. Creativity (1-10)
2. Music (1-10)
3. Synchronism-everybody dances on one accord (1-10)
4. Video quality (1-10)
5. Originality (1-10)

The highest score for each category is a 10. The highest score a dance can earn is 50 and the lowest score is 1.

Let the Grading Begin.

Yemi and Mayowa Dance 1:

Creativity: 10.. (The dance was very creative) 
Music: 10 (loved it)
Synchronism: 10 (Nobody was off) 
Video Quality: 10.. It wasn’t blurry. 
Originality: 10 (Song and dance was very different. It was very original) 

Grade: A 

Dance 2: Ayoluvmi and Ope 

Creativity: 6 (I have seen some of those moves before) 
Music: 10 (I loved the combination of American and Nigerian music) 
Synchronism: 9 
Video Quality: 10
Originality: 7 (Some moves were not that original. The Nigerian moves with Nigerian songs were very Nice) 

Grade: B 

Gari and Karen’s Dance 3

Creativity: 10 (Dance moves were entertaining to watch)
Music: 10 (Who doesn’t love Kukere?!)
Synchronism: 2 (Some of the bridesmaids were dancing something else. I hope you noticed the short groomsmen in the front killing it). 
Video Quality: 1 (It should be a zero but I am feeling generous because today is my birthday). 
Originality: 10 (Love the creative moves)

Grade: C 

If you disagree with the grades, comment below and give your own grades. 

 

10 questions you should STOP asking Africans..

1. Your name is what? Ohh.. I can’t remember that. Can I call you…….? 

2. Can you say something in African? 

3. Do you know Simba? 

4. You are African? Kool!! What country is that? 

5. Did you have a zoo in your backyard? 

6. (Clicking noises)… What did I say? 

7. Do you like it here? 

8. Can you tell me a curse word in African? 

9. Is your Dad a King? 

10. Have you seen Coming to America? 

What is the most attractive thing in a Man?

43b30-peterEvery lady has her preference. Some ladies will say swag, looks, money, brains and etc. Personally, I say his “heart for the Lord.” A man’s heart for the Lord is the most attractive thing in my opinion. I can’t describe to you how attractive it is for a guy to love the Lord.

As a Christian lady the first thing I look for in a man who is physically attractive is his relationship with the Lord. It’s one thing to see a guy who goes to church is another thing to see a guy who completely loves the Lord. You can’t really see if he loves the Lord until you spend time with him. This guy prays before he pursues you. He seeks to make God happy with all his decisions. He is searching for a Proverbs 31 woman. Your physical appearance is not enough; your heart for Christ is what he wants. He seeks God’s will above all. He stands for Christ. His love for God controls his every move. As a Christian woman, I want a man whose heart is submissive to God that means I can submit to him knowing he will always lead me back to Christ.

*Help this heart love nothing else but you oh Lord.

For my Nigerian Sisters,

SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID 379 written by George Essien

Most African women marry for financial security and miss out on that beautiful feeling and joy called love. They live boring lives with a man they sincerely don’t connect with,enduring the marriage through the years.

Very few marry for love.And those who marry for love work out their financial security together and get it eventually,haven’t you noticed?Then they have the two – love and finance. Romance and finance.

My thoughts:

Forget that money thing..
Love is priceless o!
Your love is too expensive for money.

Please my Nigerian sisters,
you deserve to be happy.
I want you to be happy.
I am tired of seeing women maltreated in their marriages
Love, friendship, and commitment makes a difference.
Remember, you have to love him too.
If you don’t love him..don’t marry him because you will take his love for granted.

Love is PRICELESS!!

Is our dating culture setting us up for divorce?

Think about this question before you read my answer.

picture-of-me-3.pngWhen things don’t go our way in our relationships, we break up. A lot of people enter into relationships to see what they can get not what they can give. How is your dating relationship, preparing you for marriage? Are you learning to forgive each other? Are you learning the importance of communication? Marriage stands against everything this dating culture stands for. Marriage is about love and commitment. How many of us are truly committed to “forever”? Most people on their wedding days quote “till death do us part” but how many of them run out when issues come up. We are so used to breaking up that the idea of divorce doesn’t seem that bad to us. Is our breaking up habit setting us up for divorce later?

Here is a theory from a schoolmate..

“Ok, I have a theory. I am going to call it, Anderson’s 21st Century of Relationship and Marriage Dysfunction. Young adults in the 21st century under the age of forty, have a problem with the word “sacrifice.” In order to have and maintain a strong marriage and relationship sacrifice is a required necessary element! However, because of the power and innovation of technology, young adults have become selfish, self-centered, egotistical, and have developed the Burger King mentality of thinking “they can have it their way.”

Therefore, if they cannot have what they want, when, where, and how they want it, the relationship or marriage is rendered not worth it and a break up is effective immediately! Not to mention those who remain single past forty never been married or in a longstanding relationship because they say they couldn’t find anybody they were interested in; they did not once even question if whether or not there expectations were even slightly “unrealistic,” which…they usually were! To conclude my theory: selfishness and lack of sacrifice are destroying relationships and marriages in young adults in the 21st century! This is just part one of my theory!”- Justin  Anderson