African Amnesia

love-africa-stickerA very common condition where native-born Africans in developed countries suddenly forget their African identity and heritage in the absence of trauma.

Common Causes:
1. Extreme embarrassment for their African country, identity or heritage.
2. Extreme love for their new country.
3. Forced to denounce their native country for serious reasons.
4. Social acceptance
5. Status change

Symptoms:
1. Loss of memories in Africa
2. Loss of appetite for native African foods, patient can’t even stand the sight.
3. Sudden inability to speak their native African language.
4. Exaggerated love for anything that undermines their native African country.

Treatment:
1. A reality clap from someone with a massive hand.
2. Deployment from the developed country.
3. A huge party with all the patient’s favorite foods from motherland.
4. A reality check from family members and friends.

Coming to America 101 for Nigerians..

Coming to AmericaAfter 14 years in America, here’s my advice to my fellow Nigerians migrating to the United States of America. My advice is solely from my experience. This is not to negate the fact that your experiences might be different from mine.

1. Smile: Smiling is huge in the American culture. I remember a lot of Americans telling me that they thought I was “mean”(rude person) because I didn’t smile. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, smile because it shows that you are friendly.

2. If your name is hard to pronounce, be prepared for people to ask you if you have a nickname. I thought my name was simple until I came to the States. I had to teach a lot of Americans on the right way to pronounce my name. They asked me for a nickname, I say “no.” I hate people asking me for a nickname because it seemed like I was changing my name to fit their inability to pronounce my name. You can give them a nickname, that’s your call.

3. Be prepared to educate people on Africa: it depends on the types of people you meet. A lot of people are curious about Africans and Africa, so expect a lot of questions. Brush up on your African geography, history and be prepared to answer any questions. You will get intelligent questions as well, nothing tedious. Get ready. Don’t be surprised if somebody asks you if you have Ebola.

4. If you want attention, wear your African attire: you wear African attire like nothing back at home. Over here, people will look at you except you wear it in a place where they are familiar with African attires. You will get a lot of compliments for your African attires. Some Americans are intrigued by our African attires.

5. You have an accent-After 14 years in the States; Americans can still hear my accent. Americans will ask you a lot of questions about your accent.

6. If your friends invite you to the movies or somewhere that requires money. Don’t assume that because they invited you that there are responsible for paying. You are responsible for paying except they specifically tell you they will pay for you. If you don’t have money, let them know.

7.You can call everyone by their first names here, except for your teachers and boss. The whole Aunty and Uncle still apply for Nigerian adults here(at least for me).

Welcome to America!!! Buckle up, work hard, study hard and don’t forget to make Nigeria proud. Wink!!

Any questions? Please comment below or email me: [email protected]

For Single Christian Ladies: Chase God and Look Good

Chase God and look Good is a simple way to combat desperation while putting things under perspective.

Chasing God is very important for us as singles because only God can complete us. You know what the bible says “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added” Matthew 6:33. As a single the type of guy I want is also chasing God so we will find each other in Christ. God doesn’t want us to idolize relationships, marriages.. He wants us, complete in Him first. Chasing God will also help us to focus our relationship with Christ instead of looking for our significant other. Don’t forget that “every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord” James 1:17. A good man is a gift from God. It makes more sense to chase the giver of good gifts.

Why should you look good? Men are visual creatures. The same way you want your man to look fly when you meet him. You should strive to look fly to impress him too. One of the greatest lie I told myself as a single was “I wanted a guy who loved my inner beauty and not my outward.” So for years, I didn’t wear makeup (Yikes!!). My non-wearing make-up days didn’t go so well. The reality is that guys are visual creatures. I didn’t have a lot of guys in my social circle yet I wanted a guy to like my inner beauty first. How was that going to happen?

Chasing God and looking good puts us in a win-win situation because no man in this world can complete us except Christ. The looking good is so that your husband doesn’t bleed the “blood of Jesus” when God points you out to him. There’s no need to act desperate as we chase God the husband will come.

Hebrew 12:2-“Looking onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”

A letter from Mr. Cabin Biscuit to Mr. Oreo,

Dear Mr. Oreo,

Cabin BiscuitsHow you dey? I am just here showing Mrs. Cabin biscuit this your video “Mr. Oreo.” I saw the video too.. It was nice sha, but mmm.. You already know what this letter is about so I am not going to front. I understand the message you were trying to convey, but couldn’t you do it and still call your video “Mr. Cabin biscuit.” Wait, why are you black on the outside and white on this inside? Wettin dey worry you?

No, I am not mad o, but I am just saying. Do you know how many Nigerian boarding students I have saved from starvation? Do you know that Nigerian boarding students cry to their parents if they don’t add me to their provisions? Do you know how many Nigerian families have me with groundnuts?

Don’t get me started.. I have a question for you Mr. Oreo. What has Oreo done for you that Mr. and Mrs. Cabin hasn’t done for you over the years? I have the right to vex. This is not fair now. I am here trying to save Nigeria from starvation and you are over there singing about Oreos. My friend you no get respect? Which kind wahala be this? I feel underappreciated in this country. This thing you do.. It no good o!!

I have talked to Mrs. Cabin biscuit about the consequences of your actions. Mrs. Cabin biscuit was even pleading with me to pardon you o(can you imagine?) I told her “forget that thing.” From the Cabin family to your family, we are banning you and your future generations from our savory taste. Don’t beg me; you have insulted me and my family. No Cabin Biscuit for you Mr. Oreoand your future generations. Look at Mrs. Cabin biscuit begging me. I think Mrs. Cabin biscuit is begging me because of your muscles. She said the Cabin family helped you gain all that muscle. Again.. You are BANNED from the Cabin Biscuits family.

I don’t understand why Nigerians are quick to promote foreigners before their own. Nigerians, it’s time to love yourselves. Mr. Oreo we are banning until you make a song about us na. My friend, you better respect yourself o.

Sincerely,
Mr. Cabin Biscuit and the Cabin Family

FYI: My family will be dancing to Kukere as we wait for our video. We expect our video by December 2015

Take a break from the norm: do something different this Valentine’s Day…

Businesses capitalize on special days to the point that it loses its luster.

"love should spur you with the feeling ike you can conquer the world"

“Your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.”-9jagirl4real

Valentine’s day is not about gifts: flowers, jewelry..etc.. Valentine’s day is a day to celebrate your relationship. There’s no universal way of celebrating Valentine’s day. Your relationship is different from other people’s relationship so your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.

Here are some 10 new ways you can spice up your Valentine’s day:

1. Love is priceless-Give each other a gift that money can’t buy

2.Be spontaneous by doing something different from your Valentine’s day tradition- if you always go out to eat, go out to a beautiful park in another city and have a picnic. Do something out the norm that will still bring meaning and satisfaction to your relationship.

3. Celebrate Valentine’s day every day 14th day of every month for the whole year or pick another date for your own valentine’s day.

4. Write each other secret love notes and let your partner find them in some unconventional places.

5. For married couples(because I don’t endorse premarital sex): have a quickie in a new spot.

6. If you can afford it: celebrate Valentine’s day in different country(Hint: An African Country).

7. Start a new relationship tradition.

8. Send your children an annoying Valentine’s day selfie.

9. Do something wild, crazy and still legal

10. Prank your kids for your amusement.

The Super Bowl 101: For Nigerians..

The Super Bowl is the national championship game of the National Football League(NFL) in the United States of America.
This football is not the same as our football where you kicked the ball into a goal.
Some Africans call it handball because the players literally hold the ball and try to get to the opponent’s side of the field to score a TOUCHDOWN.
TOUCHDOWN is similar to saying SCORE or in our football: GOAL.

There are three different types of scores in American football. The first is called a touchdown worth 6 point which comes with an extra 1 point to make it 7. Second score is a field goal worth 3 points. Third score is called a safety which is worth 2 points. In case you are down by four points and you are trying to tie the game, you can score a touch down which is 6 point and go for a 2 point conversion which is obviously 2 point (knowledge by Nsi aka. Possible Etim).

This is our football or soccer to Americans: Soccer  and this is American football American Football

The Super Bowl is a big deal for Americans the same way the World Cup is a big deal to Nigerians when Nigeria plays.
People gather together to watch the game. People order a large amount of food for the game. Some people like me watch the game for the commercials. The Super Bowl is also a big deal for businesses. Businesses pay a lot of money to make sure their commercials are shown during the game because they know a lot of people are watching.

Where is my Gollibe?

Are you a single Nigerian guy? If yes, you most likely asked yourself this question after watching Flavour’s new music video. If you didn’t ask yourself this question, at least the question crossed your mind. Chai, be honest, na! I loved the message behind the video. It was brilliant and I personally think it’s one of Flavour’s best works; however, this video does not help single Nigerian ladies aboard.

I have lived in the States for 13 years now. 2 out of 3 Nigerian men I meet want to go back home to pick their wives. It is perfectly fine if you already had someone back at home. That’s a different story. Due to the influence of Nigerian movies, social media, and our old school Nigerian mentality these men feel like they have to go back home to find their wives.

                         New flash for Nigerian guys aboard: You can find Gollibe anywhere. 

Golibe

What is so special about Gollibe? She is innocent: simple, good-natured, kind and family oriented. Guys want Gollibe because of her inner beauty and wife qualities. Every guy deserves a Golibe. Most men can agree that they want a good natured girl.

If you are looking for a good natured girl, why would life geographically restrict the good girls from coming to the city? Good girls can be found anywhere. The idea that good girls can only be found in the village is a ludicrous thought. Ladies in the city should not be penalized for being in the city. More exposure doesn’t mean more venality. Bad girls are everywhere, the village is not exempted.

City ladies can be good as village ladies. Village girls can be equally bad. Even though Nigerian men are more inclined to look for Gollibe in the village, I implore you to use the same tactics you would use to find Gollibe in the village in the city and see if you wouldn’t be surprised. Give the ladies around you a sincere chance before you go searching in the village.

How do find your Golibe in the village? You ask your friends and family for recommendations. They give you who they recommend. You meet her. Hopefully, you observe and court her long enough to really know her. You don’t have any preconceived notions about her. You give her a fair chance. Why can’t you do the same for the ladies there in Yankee with you?

Don’t be intimidated by the independent Nigerian ladies aboard, you can find your Gollibe anywhere!!!

2015 Life Quote 1

“A man will love a woman who respects him; a woman will respect a man who loves her.”-Unknown

Love her and she will give you the world.
Respect him and he will fight the world for you.

Love is PRICELESS!!!

Green Card Marriages: Don’t be a Victim

As a Nigerian blogger, I have avoided posting anything about green cards marriages for various reasons. I was fine with my reasons until someone left this comment.

That is true because I manipulated an American girl to get green card, and after I got her pregnant, I went back to Nigeria that to be with a another girl who turns out to be a gold digger.

When I saw that comment, I got angry as to why this person decided to infect my day with their comment. I am not discouraging anybody from posting comments but this comment carried a lot of weight which I have to address.

Every year men and women become victims to green card marriages in the name of love; however, it doesn’t mean that every foreigner you meet without a green card is after you for a green card. Personally, I think people shouldn’t marry for anything else but love. In the perfect world everyone marries for love. In reality, everybody marries for a lot of reason

There are obviously some things that you should watch out for-check out this amazing website that has some signs you should watch out for. I agree with 95% of the signs that the lady outlined that’s why I am sharing this link with you. This link also has lots of stories from people which I think you can benefit from.

Marriage is very complex and everybody’s case is different. Ladies, two things signs that you should clearly watch out for:

  1. He pushes you into the marriage: he threatens to leave the relationship if you don’t obey his demands. In this situation, he is only thinking about himself and not what’s best for the relationship. If he can’t wait, you have every right to question his intentions.
  2. He purposes before you meet him. If you are an intuitive person, trust your instincts. If something doesn’t seem right then you need to take a step back and reevaluate. Let your family members and friends meet him, if something is not right they will tell you. Don’t be so blinded by love that you ignore the truth.

Love yourself enough so you can recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of you. Take your time; don’t let anybody rush you to do anything you don’t want to do. Love is anything but selfish.

Marriage is not a joke especially with children involved. TAKE YOUR TIME!! Time will reveal the true character of a person. If you don’t have the time, let them go.
Wait! There’s hope: check out this story.