Nigerian women, there’s an invisible bride price market in our society.
8 out 10 Nigerian guys believe with the right price, they can get any girl in Nigeria.
If a man can buy you, you are an expensive Ferrari with baby-making capability, house-making capability, cooking capability, love-making capability and much more.
3 out of the 4 Nigerian guys I meet want to make money before they choose their wives.
One guy clearly told me that a lot of Nigerian girls will flock around when there is money, so he will choose who he really wants when he has money.
A lot of Nigerian women are belittling their value for common naira or dollars.
We have devalued our worth to mere $$$$.
YOU ARE PRICELESS..
You are too expensive for money to buy.
Don’t devalue your worth for anyone or anything. It is not worth it.
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband has trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Definition of good looking (for women: big breasts, big butts and a pretty face. For men: tall, muscular, six packs and a handsome face) for the purpose of this post. From my observation, people with these features in the American society are venerated.
Good-looking people have it pretty easy in a society that value first impressions. People automatically attribute positive emotions to people with pretty faces and features. It is very easy for a good-looking person to depend on their looks for better opportunities and privileges in this society. Most of the time, people who are genetically blessed with a pretty face live a less ignominious life.
As a good girl you will enjoy these perks:
1. Having more ‘friends’ since most people want to associate themselves with someone good-looking.
2. Having rich friends-even if your parents are poor, don’t worry your pretty face gets a pass into the rich club.
3.Being showed love and ask out on a date by guys oftener .
4. Having boys fight over you.
5. Always been part of the popular group because you have “the hottie” pass.
6. You get an extra tip as a waitress, customer service rep or a sales person.
7. And many more.
As a boy you will enjoy these perks:
1. Getting her to stare
2. Being the popular (football) player everyone wants to hang around.
3. Getting the girl you want (95% of the time)
4. Having a lot of friends.
5. Getting the job you want
To name a few..
Having a pretty face with attractive features helps in this society, we can all agree. We capitalize on looks too much in this society to the point that children begin having low self- esteem issues in elementary schools and below average looking people commit suicide because they feel they are ugly.
Let’s be real, good-looking people with pretty faces and attractive features are genetically blessed. They are blessed with attractive features genetically passed down, none of which they earned. They did nothing to earn their fine looks. Thus, it is an oblivious action to bless people with favors they don’t deserve. Gifts in the name of being “good-looking” are absolutely unnecessary. None of these “good-looking” people worked for their pretty face and attractive features yet; they get a pass in this society. The one that annoys me the most is when we give passes to “good-looking” people with bad behaviors. Somehow their good-looks is an excuse for their bad behavior or character. By the way, not all “good-looking” people have bad behaviors.
NEWS FLASH: PHYSICAL BEAUTY FADES, CHARACTER IS FOREVER.
People who are not attractive to you shouldn’t be treated poorly because they are attractive to someone else. There’s no uniform scale of attractiveness; yes the people with pretty faces and attractive features will get the most attention, it doesn’t mean that those without these features are unattractive. We are all attractive!!! Stop putting down people who are not attractive to you.
Indeed, we are sexual beings; we naturally favor people who are attractive to us.There’s nothing wrong in admiring God’s creation; however, we are wrong for placing more emphasis on people’s attractiveness than their character. It’s doesn’t matter how fine you are on the outside, if your character stinks; you are ugly in my eyes.
In my opinion..
Good Looks+ bad Character=Ugly
Good Looks + good Character=GORGEOUS
Bad looks+ good character=Gorgeous
Bad Looks + bad character=UGLY
We often think that maturity comes with age, but that’s not always the case. A man can be a boy at any age.
He has children that he is not taking care of: A real man takes care of his children even if it means paying child support. He is grown enough to take on his responsibility. On top of that he tries to be in his children’s lives.
He has 3 or more baby mamas: At some point a man has to realize that too many baby mama is too stressful to keep up. So he commits to one woman.
It’s a beauty contest with a boy: the pretty girl will always win. A man’s attraction goes beyond looks. Looks will get a man’s attention, but character, values will keep his attention.
A boy has no future goals: He lives with no purpose.
He is financially reckless: he has no savings, but he invests so much money in pimping his ride. He doesn’t understand the importance of budgeting, saving and future planning. He works, but he is constantly asking people for money.
A boy lives his life to impress others.
He sags his pants. There’s nothing mature about anyone who sags their pants.
You find yourself mothering him.
Spends his whole day playing play station.
He flirts with other women in front of you.You need a MAN and not a boy!!
Woman, love yourself.
Make time for yourself..
Take you on a date..
Think you are beautiful
Work hard.
Play hard.
Treat yourself
Fight for you and above all, know your value.
If you don’t know your value, you will settle for less.
You deserve the best!!
Know your Worth!!!
You are worth it!!
To all the strong women out there, I celebrate you!!
After 14 years in America, here’s my advice to my fellow Nigerians migrating to the United States of America. My advice is solely from my experience. This is not to negate the fact that your experiences might be different from mine.
1. Smile: Smiling is huge in the American culture. I remember a lot of Americans telling me that they thought I was “mean”(rude person) because I didn’t smile. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, smile because it shows that you are friendly.
2. If your name is hard to pronounce, be prepared for people to ask you if you have a nickname. I thought my name was simple until I came to the States. I had to teach a lot of Americans on the right way to pronounce my name. They asked me for a nickname, I say “no.” I hate people asking me for a nickname because it seemed like I was changing my name to fit their inability to pronounce my name. You can give them a nickname, that’s your call.
3. Be prepared to educate people on Africa: it depends on the types of people you meet. A lot of people are curious about Africans and Africa, so expect a lot of questions. Brush up on your African geography, history and be prepared to answer any questions. You will get intelligent questions as well, nothing tedious. Get ready. Don’t be surprised if somebody asks you if you have Ebola.
4. If you want attention, wear your African attire: you wear African attire like nothing back at home. Over here, people will look at you except you wear it in a place where they are familiar with African attires. You will get a lot of compliments for your African attires. Some Americans are intrigued by our African attires.
5. You have an accent-After 14 years in the States; Americans can still hear my accent. Americans will ask you a lot of questions about your accent.
6. If your friends invite you to the movies or somewhere that requires money. Don’t assume that because they invited you that there are responsible for paying. You are responsible for paying except they specifically tell you they will pay for you. If you don’t have money, let them know.
7.You can call everyone by their first names here, except for your teachers and boss. The whole Aunty and Uncle still apply for Nigerian adults here(at least for me).
Welcome to America!!! Buckle up, work hard, study hard and don’t forget to make Nigeria proud. Wink!!
1. If you googled (how to make a Nigerian Man love you), you are trying too hard. Men in general subconsciously have desperate detectors. I have never met a man who likes desperate; he probably exists, I haven’t met him yet. No matter how desperate you are, he does not have to know.
Why should you hide desperate? This is very important because some Nigerian guys can capitalize on it and use it to their advantage. Trust me, hiding the thirst will work for you. If he likes you, he will chase you. Allow him to chase you.
Nigerian guys are in your home country for a chance for a better job opportunity, education, etc. They already understand that something worth having is worth chasing. If he likes you, he will come after you except he is married or a wimp. If he married or a wimp, you don’t want him anyways, let him go. Stop trying so hard to win his attention. If he doesn’t like you, you will meet somebody else who adores you.
2. Love yourself: you know that quote “nobody can love you until you love yourself”(unknown).. Very true!! No guy in this world can love you until you love yourself.
3. Have something going for yourself: education is huge in our Nigerian culture. If you are not educated, at least have something going for yourself.
4. Be yourself: This may sound like a cliché but it is absolutely true. Be the best you and you will attract the right man.
Honestly ladies, there’s no right formula to get a Nigerian man (or any guy). My suggestion is to stop trying and be yourself. Guys are ok with a smile to let them know you are interested. Know your worth ladies and lets these guys chase after you. You are worth the chase!!!
Chase God and look Good is a simple way to combat desperation while putting things under perspective.
Chasing God is very important for us as singles because only God can complete us. You know what the bible says “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added” Matthew 6:33. As a single the type of guy I want is also chasing God so we will find each other in Christ. God doesn’t want us to idolize relationships, marriages.. He wants us, complete in Him first. Chasing God will also help us to focus our relationship with Christ instead of looking for our significant other. Don’t forget that “every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord” James 1:17. A good man is a gift from God. It makes more sense to chase the giver of good gifts.
Why should you look good? Men are visual creatures. The same way you want your man to look fly when you meet him. You should strive to look fly to impress him too. One of the greatest lie I told myself as a single was “I wanted a guy who loved my inner beauty and not my outward.” So for years, I didn’t wear makeup (Yikes!!). My non-wearing make-up days didn’t go so well. The reality is that guys are visual creatures. I didn’t have a lot of guys in my social circle yet I wanted a guy to like my inner beauty first. How was that going to happen?
Chasing God and looking good puts us in a win-win situation because no man in this world can complete us except Christ. The looking good is so that your husband doesn’t bleed the “blood of Jesus” when God points you out to him. There’s no need to act desperate as we chase God the husband will come.
Hebrew 12:2-“Looking onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”
Businesses capitalize on special days to the point that it loses its luster.
“Your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.”-9jagirl4real
Valentine’s day is not about gifts: flowers, jewelry..etc.. Valentine’s day is a day to celebrate your relationship. There’s no universal way of celebrating Valentine’s day. Your relationship is different from other people’s relationship so your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.
Here are some 10 new ways you can spice up your Valentine’s day:
1. Love is priceless-Give each other a gift that money can’t buy
2.Be spontaneous by doing something different from your Valentine’s day tradition- if you always go out to eat, go out to a beautiful park in another city and have a picnic. Do something out the norm that will still bring meaning and satisfaction to your relationship.
3. Celebrate Valentine’s day every day 14th day of every month for the whole year or pick another date for your own valentine’s day.
4. Write each other secret love notes and let your partner find them in some unconventional places.
5. For married couples(because I don’t endorse premarital sex): have a quickie in a new spot.
6. If you can afford it: celebrate Valentine’s day in different country(Hint: An African Country).
7. Start a new relationship tradition.
8. Send your children an annoying Valentine’s day selfie.
