Forever the Best Father’s Day Gift

Father's Day 2017Father’s day is coming up!! My amazing  father will be here for father’s day.
The best gift a woman can give her children is to pick a good man for her future children. I think it is not wise to be having unprotected sex with any man you wouldn’t be proud to give your children as a father.

Please avoid these types of guys when you want children:

1. A guy who is currently not taking care of his children from previous relationships
2. A guy who has no financial capital to provide for your child
3. A guy has a crazy baby’s mama he cannot control.
4. A male who is obviously sleeping around with every female he comes in contact with.
5. A guy who doesn’t want kids.
6. A guy who is not prepared to have a baby.
7. A guy who has a reckless lifestyle with no clear plans of where he is going with his life.
8. A guy who is not responsible for himself. He has no control over his finances. His mother or father pays for this upkeep.
9. He doesn’t have any long-term goals that include you. If you want to get married before kids. He has no goals of marrying you.
10. The guy who you know obviously doesn’t like you. If you like him and think you can convert him to like you after a child, think again!! If you like him and he doesn’t like you, you are only hurting yourself having a baby with him.

Think about the type of father you want to give your children. Give your children a man they can be proud of. Give them a father who will do them right all the days of their life. Give them a man who will fight for them.

The best gift you can give your future children is to pick a good man to be their father!!

To all great fathers out there.. God bless You for all you do!

With love,

9jagirl4real

Photo Credit: Google

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African Proverbs about Love..

Afrolove

1. Falling in love is easy, staying in love is the hustle. (- Africa)

2. It is better to be loved than feared. (- Sierra Leone)

3. One doesn’t love another if one doesn’t accept anything from her. (- Chad, Niger, Nigeria- Kanuri/Bornu)

4. Love doesn’t listen to rumors.

5. Love is like a baby: it needs to be treated tenderly. (- Congo)

6. If a woman doesn’t love you, she calls you brother. (- Ivory CoastBaule)

7. People who love one another do not dwell on each other’s mistakes. (- Kenya- Gikuyu)

8. The house of a person we love is never far. (- Kenya- Gikuyu)

9. A letter from the heart can be read on the face. (- Kiswahili)

10. Love has to be shown by deeds, not words. (- Kiswahili)

11. Love doesn’t rely on physical features. (- Lesotho)

12. He who loves you; loves you with your dirt. (- Uganda- Ganda)

13. The way you got married isn’t the way you’ll get divorced. (- Haiti)

14. He who doesn’t like chattering women must stay a bachelor. (- Congo)

15. It is the habit that a child form at home, that follows them to their marriage. (- Nigeria)

16. If you marry a monkey for his wealth, the money goes and the monkey remains as is. (- Egypt)

17. Having beauty doesn’t mean understanding the perseverance of marriage. (- Africa)

18. If you do not travel, you will marry your own sister. (- Mozambique)

19. Marriage is like a groundnut: you have to crack them to see what is inside. (- Ghana- Akan)

20. The buttocks are like a married couple though there is constant friction between them; they will still love and live together. (- Africa)

21. He who marries a beauty marries trouble. (- Nigeria)

22. It is better to be married to an old lady than to remain unmarried. (- Uganda)

23. A woman who is not successful in her own marriage has no advice to give to her younger generations. (- Nigeria)

24. The man may be the head of the home but the wife is the heart. (- Kenya- Gikuyu)

25. He was entrapped by the evening, it has cost him his marriage. (- Bantu)

26. One who loves you, warns you. (- Uganda- Baganda)

27. Talking with one another is loving one another. (- Kenya)

For more African proverbs, please check out the below website.

Source

Image Source: Google

Marrying a Nigerian Man

Hey Everyone,
This is my second vlog on 9jagirl4real.
This is something new I am starting on this blog!!
Please click  to watch the video.

Thanks for watching.
Please post or email me your comments.
God bless!!!

The Fantasy of love and the reality of Marriage..

Tiwa Savage

From a young age, I have always known I would marry for love and nothing else.
I have grown to discover that is not enough.  I also have to use my head.
The reality is the heart will always want what it wants at all cost logical or illogical.

Be WISE!
Nowadays, love is not enough.
See your potential mate through the eyes of your future children, what would they say?
The person you choose could become the mother or father of your children.
Is this person the kind of mother or father you want for your children?
A wise man once said, “the spouse you choose is a reflection of your intelligence.”

Forget about their looks, money for once. Will your love stand the test of time?
Is your relationship built on a good foundation?
Will the strength of your love survive the test in marriage?
Whether you choose to stay or leave your marriage will affect your children.

Let’s make this practical.
You convinced a woman to marry you because you have money. Why are you surprise she left now that the money is gone? Whose fault is it?
Don’t blindly marry anybody. The reality of divorce is too real.

Know what you naturally like. Don’t settle for less and think you can change anybody when you enter marriage.
Don’t ignore anything that bothers you in the pre-marital stage thinking that marriage will solve it.
Marriage magnifies your problems.
Seek counsel from people in successful marriages.
Marry someone who genuinely loves you and you also love.

Life will test your marriage.
Equip your relationships with all the necessary tools you need to succeed in your marriage, you owe your children that much.

Take your time to build a solid foundation, so your love can stand the test of time.

Photo Credit: Google

 

My Royal Nigerian Wedding..

RM 4Our invitation read “the parents …… and ….. request your presence at the joining of their children, Dr. Femi and Dr. Bola in holy matrimony.” Our wedding was the talk of town. Our wedding announcements were all over the news, blogs, and Nigerian websites. The single ladies envied me and gossiped about me in their domestic corners. Our guests were invited from all over the world. Our traditional wedding (cultural West-African) took place in a sophisticated island for the elites in Lagos, Nigeria. All six of my wedding planners were on stand-by making sure I was pleased on my dream day. Assorted wines were imported from France; even the goats killed for the occasion got a respectful death.

My husband is a US-trained brain surgeon. He is brilliantly sought after by the best of the best. He is naturally quiet in nature, but the grandeur of this day blew him away. Our guests were all given a uniform attire to grace our day in style. It was very amusing seeing our white friends in our traditional African attire. Our photographers, bloggers, and videographers were all imported from aboard. Presidents, Princes, and Princesses from different African countries honored our invitation. The best chefs and cooks served our eloquent dishes and Nigerian delicacies.

This is the wedding of my dream and I am not happy. The man I wanted was in his house drowning in his tears. I can’t stand the mere sight of him crying. I pleaded with him to understand. He cried, “What should I understand? Bola, I have dated you for six years and you are about to marry somebody else!! Why is this happening to me? I did not touch you from the very beginning because I wanted to marry..” (sobbing). We both cried and held each other. In my tears, I saw myself holding the man of my dreams while wearing another man’s engagement ring. My life became complicated.

Suku is a self-made millionaire with no college degree. My parents told me that they don’t want to associate themselves with an illiterate. I told them, he is not an illiterate, he is a millionaire. My father told me, “I am not interested in illiterate money.” For three years I pleaded with my parents to allow me to marry the man I loved, they refused. One precious day my mother blatantly scorned me about Suku saying she didn’t marry an illiterate and that only over her dead body would she allow me marry my love.

All Suku and I know to do these days is to hold each other and cry. He finally told me that he loved me so much that he will allow me to honor my parent’s wishes. I begged him not to give up on our love, he said, he wasn’t but he couldn’t watch me wait forever for an answer that will never come. We both cried for weeks when I told him that my parents agreed to Dr. Femi’s proposal to me. Dr. Femi is a great man with wonderful attributes; I already gave my heart to someone else. That guy my parents call an “illiterate” is the man of my dreams. He doesn’t have a college degree; he worked hard for every cent of his money. He built a multi-million naira business from scratch as an orphan.

This part is for my Nigerian ladies, who like me, are manipulated by their Nigerian parents to marry people they don’t want to marry. Don’t allow your Nigerian parents make the most important life decision for you. After the guests leave, the music stops, you take off your wedding dress, and marriage begins!! Life is too short to live with regrets. Make your own decisions, and take responsibility for the negative outcomes of your decisions. Your parents will one day die and leave you with your husband and you will have to figure it out. Don’t marry for status or to please anyone. I am not saying don’t listen to your parents, I am saying make your own decision and don’t let your parents make it for you. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.

Take your time and choose accordingly!!!

My marriage with Dr. Femi didn’t last.  The size of the love matters more than the size of the wedding. Money CAN’T buy happiness. Status CAN’T buy happiness.

I am back in the arms of the man of my dreams. I choose love. I choose Suku!

Respectfully yours,

Bola.

Edited by: Kelli Busbee

Please share this post to all your single Nigerian lady friends and like us on facebook!

Happy Independence Nigeria

It is easy to get lost in a society that has a system that works. I don’t have to deal with NEPA; I drive on roads that have traffic lights that work. America has a system that works for its society and citizens. With the comforts this country provides, I still want to return to Nigeria and its broken system.  Nigeria, you have my heart and first allegiance.

Nigeria is yet to find a system that works for its country. Like other countries, we must go through our fight to find our system. Greed has taken over politicians, our children are becoming orphans, wives and husbands are turning into widows. The pains of Boko Haram have turned our country upside down. All we want is a savior to deliver us from our ailments, but none can be found.  Regardless of all the problems that plague us as a country, I am hopeful that things will get better.

BETTER NIGERIANS MAKE A BETTER NIGERIA!!  It’s time to heal Nigeria.

Happy Independence Day!!!

Nigerian Brain: Meet the Nigerian Teen who got accepted to all 8 Ivy league Universities..

I am always so happy about this stories like this one.. Harold Ekeh
Education is huge for Nigerians, so we take pride in our success stories.

Meet our Nigerian Brain(Harold Ekeh)…

I am so proud of this teen. You have no idea. I love it when Nigerians in America make us proud.
To all Nigerians out there making Nigeria proud and a better place. I celebrate you!!!

To God be the GLORY!!