Coming to America 101 for Nigerians..

Coming to AmericaAfter 14 years in America, here’s my advice to my fellow Nigerians migrating to the United States of America. My advice is solely from my experience. This is not to negate the fact that your experiences might be different from mine.

1. Smile: Smiling is huge in the American culture. I remember a lot of Americans telling me that they thought I was “mean”(rude person) because I didn’t smile. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, smile because it shows that you are friendly.

2. If your name is hard to pronounce, be prepared for people to ask you if you have a nickname. I thought my name was simple until I came to the States. I had to teach a lot of Americans on the right way to pronounce my name. They asked me for a nickname, I say “no.” I hate people asking me for a nickname because it seemed like I was changing my name to fit their inability to pronounce my name. You can give them a nickname, that’s your call.

3. Be prepared to educate people on Africa: it depends on the types of people you meet. A lot of people are curious about Africans and Africa, so expect a lot of questions. Brush up on your African geography, history and be prepared to answer any questions. You will get intelligent questions as well, nothing tedious. Get ready. Don’t be surprised if somebody asks you if you have Ebola.

4. If you want attention, wear your African attire: you wear African attire like nothing back at home. Over here, people will look at you except you wear it in a place where they are familiar with African attires. You will get a lot of compliments for your African attires. Some Americans are intrigued by our African attires.

5. You have an accent-After 14 years in the States; Americans can still hear my accent. Americans will ask you a lot of questions about your accent.

6. If your friends invite you to the movies or somewhere that requires money. Don’t assume that because they invited you that there are responsible for paying. You are responsible for paying except they specifically tell you they will pay for you. If you don’t have money, let them know.

7.You can call everyone by their first names here, except for your teachers and boss. The whole Aunty and Uncle still apply for Nigerian adults here(at least for me).

Welcome to America!!! Buckle up, work hard, study hard and don’t forget to make Nigeria proud. Wink!!

Any questions? Please comment below or email me: [email protected]

Life Quote 2015: Feb 27

“Don’t be afraid to step in uncertainty, when you know that the God that you are stepping out with is certain.”-Ismael Lowery

For Single Christian Ladies: Chase God and Look Good

Chase God and look Good is a simple way to combat desperation while putting things under perspective.

Chasing God is very important for us as singles because only God can complete us. You know what the bible says “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added” Matthew 6:33. As a single the type of guy I want is also chasing God so we will find each other in Christ. God doesn’t want us to idolize relationships, marriages.. He wants us, complete in Him first. Chasing God will also help us to focus our relationship with Christ instead of looking for our significant other. Don’t forget that “every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord” James 1:17. A good man is a gift from God. It makes more sense to chase the giver of good gifts.

Why should you look good? Men are visual creatures. The same way you want your man to look fly when you meet him. You should strive to look fly to impress him too. One of the greatest lie I told myself as a single was “I wanted a guy who loved my inner beauty and not my outward.” So for years, I didn’t wear makeup (Yikes!!). My non-wearing make-up days didn’t go so well. The reality is that guys are visual creatures. I didn’t have a lot of guys in my social circle yet I wanted a guy to like my inner beauty first. How was that going to happen?

Chasing God and looking good puts us in a win-win situation because no man in this world can complete us except Christ. The looking good is so that your husband doesn’t bleed the “blood of Jesus” when God points you out to him. There’s no need to act desperate as we chase God the husband will come.

Hebrew 12:2-“Looking onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”

Take a break from the norm: do something different this Valentine’s Day…

Businesses capitalize on special days to the point that it loses its luster.

"love should spur you with the feeling ike you can conquer the world"

“Your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.”-9jagirl4real

Valentine’s day is not about gifts: flowers, jewelry..etc.. Valentine’s day is a day to celebrate your relationship. There’s no universal way of celebrating Valentine’s day. Your relationship is different from other people’s relationship so your Valentine’s day should be celebrated in a way that reflects your relationship.

Here are some 10 new ways you can spice up your Valentine’s day:

1. Love is priceless-Give each other a gift that money can’t buy

2.Be spontaneous by doing something different from your Valentine’s day tradition- if you always go out to eat, go out to a beautiful park in another city and have a picnic. Do something out the norm that will still bring meaning and satisfaction to your relationship.

3. Celebrate Valentine’s day every day 14th day of every month for the whole year or pick another date for your own valentine’s day.

4. Write each other secret love notes and let your partner find them in some unconventional places.

5. For married couples(because I don’t endorse premarital sex): have a quickie in a new spot.

6. If you can afford it: celebrate Valentine’s day in different country(Hint: An African Country).

7. Start a new relationship tradition.

8. Send your children an annoying Valentine’s day selfie.

9. Do something wild, crazy and still legal

10. Prank your kids for your amusement.

The Hottest Song right now in Nigeria: Godwin By Korede Bello Music Review

This song is HOT!!!
I can’t stop listening to this song.

It gives Glory to God for every good thing that happens.

The only negative that I could say about this song is that it only recognizes the positive things that happen to us.

We are commanded to give thanks in everything..

Everything: good, bad, ugly, beautiful. God deserves the praise in everything because it could have been worse.

With all the craziness going on in Nigeria, it is refreshing to hear a #No nyash song giving Glory to God.
This is the type of song Nigerian artists need to be producing, songs that elevate people’s spirit by giving them a reason to smile in spite of the problems in their lives.
Godwin is the front runner in our 2015 Nigerian Music challenge.

In the Good, bad…#Godwins

Don’t Marry for these Reasons by John Dumelo

Don’t marry for sex.
Don’t marry because you are of age.
Don’t marry because you are getting old.
Don’t marry because you are lonely.
Don’t marry because you need someone to support you financially.
Don’t marry because you mistakenly got pregnant.
Don’t marry because you don’t want to lose the person.
Don’t marry because of family pressures.
Don’t marry because you like the idea of marriage and admire every wedding gown you see.
Don’t marry because all your friends are getting married.
But get married because you are in love.
Get married because he or she is your best friend and when that love is no more, he or she can still make u smile…..?#?somedayiwillgetmarried?

2015 Life Quote 1

“A man will love a woman who respects him; a woman will respect a man who loves her.”-Unknown

Love her and she will give you the world.
Respect him and he will fight the world for you.

Love is PRICELESS!!!

Green Card Marriages: Don’t be a Victim

As a Nigerian blogger, I have avoided posting anything about green cards marriages for various reasons. I was fine with my reasons until someone left this comment.

That is true because I manipulated an American girl to get green card, and after I got her pregnant, I went back to Nigeria that to be with a another girl who turns out to be a gold digger.

When I saw that comment, I got angry as to why this person decided to infect my day with their comment. I am not discouraging anybody from posting comments but this comment carried a lot of weight which I have to address.

Every year men and women become victims to green card marriages in the name of love; however, it doesn’t mean that every foreigner you meet without a green card is after you for a green card. Personally, I think people shouldn’t marry for anything else but love. In the perfect world everyone marries for love. In reality, everybody marries for a lot of reason

There are obviously some things that you should watch out for-check out this amazing website that has some signs you should watch out for. I agree with 95% of the signs that the lady outlined that’s why I am sharing this link with you. This link also has lots of stories from people which I think you can benefit from.

Marriage is very complex and everybody’s case is different. Ladies, two things signs that you should clearly watch out for:

  1. He pushes you into the marriage: he threatens to leave the relationship if you don’t obey his demands. In this situation, he is only thinking about himself and not what’s best for the relationship. If he can’t wait, you have every right to question his intentions.
  2. He purposes before you meet him. If you are an intuitive person, trust your instincts. If something doesn’t seem right then you need to take a step back and reevaluate. Let your family members and friends meet him, if something is not right they will tell you. Don’t be so blinded by love that you ignore the truth.

Love yourself enough so you can recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of you. Take your time; don’t let anybody rush you to do anything you don’t want to do. Love is anything but selfish.

Marriage is not a joke especially with children involved. TAKE YOUR TIME!! Time will reveal the true character of a person. If you don’t have the time, let them go.
Wait! There’s hope: check out this story.

A Letter to my followers..

Dear Followers,

Thank you so much for your likes, comments, messages and shares.
2014 was a great year for 9jagirl4real.
Thank you for being part of this journey with me.
I appreciate each and every one of you.
I wish you all a very happy and blissful New Year.

Love,
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