Tag Archives: Marriage

Green Card Marriages: Don’t be a Victim

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As a Nigerian blogger, I have avoided posting anything about green cards marriages for various reasons. I was fine with my reasons until someone left this comment.

That is true because I manipulated an American girl to get green card, and after I got her pregnant, I went back to Nigeria that to be with a another girl who turns out to be a gold digger.

When I saw that comment, I got angry as to why this person decided to infect my day with their comment. I am not discouraging anybody from posting comments but this comment carried a lot of weight which I have to address.

Every year men and women become victims to green card marriages in the name of love; however, it doesn’t mean that every foreigner you meet without a green card is after you for a green card. Personally, I think people shouldn’t marry for anything else but love. In the perfect world everyone marries for love. In reality, everybody marries for a lot of reason

There are obviously some things that you should watch out for-check out this amazing website that has some signs you should watch out for. I agree with 95% of the signs that the lady outlined that’s why I am sharing this link with you. This link also has lots of stories from people which I think you can benefit from.

Marriage is very complex and everybody’s case is different. Ladies, two things signs that you should clearly watch out for:

  1. He pushes you into the marriage: he threatens to leave the relationship if you don’t obey his demands. In this situation, he is only thinking about himself and not what’s best for the relationship. If he can’t wait, you have every right to question his intentions.
  2. He purposes before you meet him. If you are an intuitive person, trust your instincts. If something doesn’t seem right then you need to take a step back and reevaluate. Let your family members and friends meet him, if something is not right they will tell you. Don’t be so blinded by love that you ignore the truth.

Love yourself enough so you can recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of you. Take your time; don’t let anybody rush you to do anything you don’t want to do. Love is anything but selfish.

Marriage is not a joke especially with children involved. TAKE YOUR TIME!! Time will reveal the true character of a person. If you don’t have the time, let them go.
Wait! There’s hope: check out this story.

Nigerian Report Card: Nigerian Wedding Dance 2014

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Nigerians, its time to report to class for your Nigerian Report Card. 

We start this series off by grading Nigerians Wedding Dance 2014 on Youtube. The categories on how the dances will be graded are: 

1. Creativity (1-10)
2. Music (1-10)
3. Synchronism-everybody dances on one accord (1-10)
4. Video quality (1-10)
5. Originality (1-10)

The highest score for each category is a 10. The highest score a dance can earn is 50 and the lowest score is 1.

Let the Grading Begin.

Yemi and Mayowa Dance 1:

Creativity: 10.. (The dance was very creative) 
Music: 10 (loved it)
Synchronism: 10 (Nobody was off) 
Video Quality: 10.. It wasn’t blurry. 
Originality: 10 (Song and dance was very different. It was very original) 

Grade: A 

Dance 2: Ayoluvmi and Ope 

Creativity: 6 (I have seen some of those moves before) 
Music: 10 (I loved the combination of American and Nigerian music) 
Synchronism: 9 
Video Quality: 10
Originality: 7 (Some moves were not that original. The Nigerian moves with Nigerian songs were very Nice) 

Grade: B 

Gari and Karen’s Dance 3

Creativity: 10 (Dance moves were entertaining to watch)
Music: 10 (Who doesn’t love Kukere?!)
Synchronism: 2 (Some of the bridesmaids were dancing something else. I hope you noticed the short groomsmen in the front killing it). 
Video Quality: 1 (It should be a zero but I am feeling generous because today is my birthday). 
Originality: 10 (Love the creative moves)

Grade: C 

If you disagree with the grades, comment below and give your own grades. 

 

For my Nigerian Sisters,

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SINGLE BUT NOT STUPID 379 written by George Essien

Most African women marry for financial security and miss out on that beautiful feeling and joy called love. They live boring lives with a man they sincerely don’t connect with,enduring the marriage through the years.

Very few marry for love.And those who marry for love work out their financial security together and get it eventually,haven’t you noticed?Then they have the two – love and finance. Romance and finance.

My thoughts:

Forget that money thing..
Love is priceless o!
Your love is too expensive for money.

Please my Nigerian sisters,
you deserve to be happy.
I want you to be happy.
I am tired of seeing women maltreated in their marriages
Love, friendship, and commitment makes a difference.
Remember, you have to love him too.
If you don’t love him..don’t marry him because you will take his love for granted.

Love is PRICELESS!!

Is our dating culture setting us up for divorce?

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Think about this question before you read my answer.

picture-of-me-3.pngWhen things don’t go our way in our relationships, we break up. A lot of people enter into relationships to see what they can get not what they can give. How is your dating relationship, preparing you for marriage? Are you learning to forgive each other? Are you learning the importance of communication? Marriage stands against everything this dating culture stands for. Marriage is about love and commitment. How many of us are truly committed to “forever”? Most people on their wedding days quote “till death do us part” but how many of them run out when issues come up. We are so used to breaking up that the idea of divorce doesn’t seem that bad to us. Is our breaking up habit setting us up for divorce later?

Here is a theory from a schoolmate..

“Ok, I have a theory. I am going to call it, Anderson’s 21st Century of Relationship and Marriage Dysfunction. Young adults in the 21st century under the age of forty, have a problem with the word “sacrifice.” In order to have and maintain a strong marriage and relationship sacrifice is a required necessary element! However, because of the power and innovation of technology, young adults have become selfish, self-centered, egotistical, and have developed the Burger King mentality of thinking “they can have it their way.”

Therefore, if they cannot have what they want, when, where, and how they want it, the relationship or marriage is rendered not worth it and a break up is effective immediately! Not to mention those who remain single past forty never been married or in a longstanding relationship because they say they couldn’t find anybody they were interested in; they did not once even question if whether or not there expectations were even slightly “unrealistic,” which…they usually were! To conclude my theory: selfishness and lack of sacrifice are destroying relationships and marriages in young adults in the 21st century! This is just part one of my theory!”- Justin  Anderson

Things Nigerian guys need to consider before going home to pick a wife..

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This one is for Nigerian guys who want to go back home to find a wife. First of all, I want to congratulate you on this big step. Finding a wife is not easy at all o!  This post is really for Nigerian guys who call their parents or people they trust back at home to find them one innocent virgin girl for them to come home to marry. C’mon… Guys!! Come on!! I know the idea of finding one innocent girl to marry is intriguing, but wait one minute…  How long do you know her? This post is coming from a special place because I hate seeing people hurt.

You called someone you trust to find you a lady who can cook you egusi and give you lots of babies doesn’t mean anything. They found you a lady who you can be a great wife and mother doesn’t mean she is the person they say she is. You are the person who will be spending the rest of your life with her (hopefully). Invest time and get to know who you are marrying. I know the people who gave you this recommendation have the best intentions for you doesn’t mean that this girl is on the same page as them.

Their recommendation is not enough… Get to know the lady you are marrying. It surprises how some guys will get a recommendation about a lady and marry her quickly. Marriage is not a joke. Going home to marry someone and bringing them overseas is a big commitment and sacrifice. You need to be sure of your decision. Don’t rush into the marriage. Get to know the person you are marrying for your own peace of mind.

When you marry people in general without investing the time to know the person for yourself, you are marrying at your own risk. The immigration battle is not worth it if you are not going to have a peace of mind in your marriage. I have heard of circumstances where a man has gone home to marry and the woman came over here to rip where she didn’t sow.  People you know all your life can still tear you down, but don’t take that risk by not knowing the person you are marrying.

Risk is great but marriage is not the place for it. Before you go home to marry please get to know the person you are marrying for yourself. The people giving you these recommendations are not marrying her, you are. Be careful and choose wisely!!

modiva:</p><br /><br /> <p>Nigerian guys</p><br /><br /> <p>* Nigerian Power Rangers

He asked her and she said??

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A guy sent a girl this picture and asked her “Would go all out like this on your wedding day?”

Her response:
No that’s too much money to spend on a wedding. The decorations are breathtaking but I would rather invest more in my relationship with my husband (my marriage) or use that money to help people instead of wasting it on too much decorations. What about you? Would you go all out like that for your wedding?

His response:
Is whatever the Wife wants. Our wedding day is her day as long as it makes her happy and we can afford it. How can I try to bring happiness to others if I can’t bring happiness to the one closest to me? Charity begins at home abi.

My response:
Omo your wife is blessed o among women. I hope she realizes what she has and doesn’t take your beautiful amazing heart for granted.

How to know a Nigerian man loves you?

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1. You will know-Ladies, we have something special called “female intuition” and it wouldn’t lead you astray. If your judgment is not clouded by past hurts, trust issues, and premarital sex, you should be able to trust your female intuition. Most of the time when we ask people for relationship advice, we subconsciously want them to tell us something different from the truth we already know. You already know if he loves you or not.

2. If you are sexually active with him; tell him you want to abstain from sex for a little while and see how he responds to that. If he loves you, he will abstain genuinely without cheating on you with somebody else. If he doesn’t love you, he will definitely cheat on you. Personally, I think it is better to stay away from sex during your premarital relationship because sex will cloud your judgment.

3. If you are sexually active, bring up the topic about having kids and see his reaction. If he doesn’t love you, the idea of having kids with you will not seat well with him. Ask and see his reaction. If he sees a future with you, he most likely loves you.

4. Nigerian men value their families. If he you are the first girl to meet his family, he really loves you. If the Nigerian guy has the habit of bringing girls home then ignore this point. Nigerian families are evolving before if a guy brought someone to meet his family his intentions were clear.

5. Friends-if he brings you around his friends, it’s a good sign. When you meet his friends, you want to pay attention to how they treat you. If he is a player-type, they might treat you like one of his many girls. Be observant and make your own judgment.

7. Love yourself and you will know when you are loved.

Tips:
1. Nigerian men are very intelligent. Be smart on how you deal with Nigerian men.
2. A Nigerian man will sleep with you and go back home(Nigeria) to marry a virgin.

Please Like us on Facebook..9jagirl4real!!!!

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You can buy this beautiful African necklace wore in the video here.

Divorce is NOT an option!!

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I am at the stage in my life where I am accepting applications for 9jaboy4real, if you are interested email me at [email protected] (only serious applications will be accepted, LOL!!). In a few years, I will be married and have children (by God’s grace). Even though, I am not yet married I am always thinking about what’s best for my children. What’s best for my children guides a lot of my decisions because if I like it or not; the decisions I make now will affect my children positively or negatively. I don’t want my children to suffer for the poor decisions I make in life.

I went to college with a guy who said that his dad lived down the street from his house but he refused to walk a few blocks to come see him. I saw the pain in that boy’s eyes from that day, I decided I’d never make a careless decision that will jeopardize my children’s happiness. I grew up with both my parents so I don’t fully understand what it means to only have one parent and rejection by another parent. I have heard of enough stories of children who felt abandoned by their father and I can’t imagine the emotional pain they go through every day. In life you can’t control what happens to you most of the time but what I can control I will.

Statistics are against children from broken homes. I have seen how broken families mess up children and I don’t want to put my children through that. Divorce affects the children more than it affects the parents. For the sake of my children, divorce can’t be an option.

Don’t get me wrong in the presence of verbal or physical abuse; divorce has to be an option because I need to stay alive to take care of my children. African women will do anything for their children and I am no different.
I don’t want to bring my children into an emotional mess. Each child deals with divorce in their own way. It is not God’s will for my children to be born into a broken home. My children deserve the right to have parents walking side by side to give them a better future.

To 9jaboy4real (whoever you are): Divorce is NOT an option!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 reasons to marry a Nigerian Man for Non-Nigerian Women:

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1. Most Nigerian men are aggressive meaning he will fight for you and his family at all cost.
2. Nigerian men love soccer-he might even love soccer more than you but he will always make you think that you are first.
3. Nigerian men secretly still love Nigerian women. Don’t let him deceive you.
4. Nigerian men love fufu (especially egusi with lots of goat meat): What? You don’t understand? You will.
5. Nigerian men speak a second language that might be attractive to you. Wait till he is around his friends and family; he will be talking about you with his friends and family in front of you.
6. Men cheat a lot. Nigerian men are not exempted.
7. Nigerian men have this big ego that is difficult to tame.
8. Nigerian men might want to go back to Nigeria.
9. Nigerian men might have more responsibility to take care of his family back at home.
10. Nigerian men are ready anything. Be ready to deal with anything.

Seriously, if you need a reason to marry a Nigerian man don’t marry him. Leave him for us (Nigerian women). Love has no reason. Nigerian men without a shadow of doubt are the best on earth.
To all women married or going to marry Nigerian men: PLEASE TREAT OUR MEN WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: Not everything on this list is true.