One of my close friends graduated from Benedict College.
I was insulted by the venue of this graduation.
I don’t know whose idea it was to host a graduation in football field under 90 degree weather.
It was so hot; it felt like we were in an oven.
To make matters worse, the graduates were dressed in black robes sitting under the hot sun for hours.
Seriously, a lot of the guests were so hot that they had to miss watching the graduation.
Students don’t spend four years in college to get burnt on their graduation day.
The exposure to such extreme temperature under black robes is disrespectful to your students and their families.
For your next graduation, please think about the temperature and how it will affect your students on their big day.
Under the hot sun is the worst place to give long speeches and accolades.
Please be considerate of your students, their friends and families.
Definition of good looking (for women: big breasts, big butts and a pretty face. For men: tall, muscular, six packs and a handsome face) for the purpose of this post. From my observation, people with these features in the American society are venerated.
Good-looking people have it pretty easy in a society that value first impressions. People automatically attribute positive emotions to people with pretty faces and features. It is very easy for a good-looking person to depend on their looks for better opportunities and privileges in this society. Most of the time, people who are genetically blessed with a pretty face live a less ignominious life.
As a good girl you will enjoy these perks:
1. Having more ‘friends’ since most people want to associate themselves with someone good-looking.
2. Having rich friends-even if your parents are poor, don’t worry your pretty face gets a pass into the rich club.
3.Being showed love and ask out on a date by guys oftener .
4. Having boys fight over you.
5. Always been part of the popular group because you have “the hottie” pass.
6. You get an extra tip as a waitress, customer service rep or a sales person.
7. And many more.
As a boy you will enjoy these perks:
1. Getting her to stare
2. Being the popular (football) player everyone wants to hang around.
3. Getting the girl you want (95% of the time)
4. Having a lot of friends.
5. Getting the job you want
To name a few..
Having a pretty face with attractive features helps in this society, we can all agree. We capitalize on looks too much in this society to the point that children begin having low self- esteem issues in elementary schools and below average looking people commit suicide because they feel they are ugly.
Let’s be real, good-looking people with pretty faces and attractive features are genetically blessed. They are blessed with attractive features genetically passed down, none of which they earned. They did nothing to earn their fine looks. Thus, it is an oblivious action to bless people with favors they don’t deserve. Gifts in the name of being “good-looking” are absolutely unnecessary. None of these “good-looking” people worked for their pretty face and attractive features yet; they get a pass in this society. The one that annoys me the most is when we give passes to “good-looking” people with bad behaviors. Somehow their good-looks is an excuse for their bad behavior or character. By the way, not all “good-looking” people have bad behaviors.
NEWS FLASH: PHYSICAL BEAUTY FADES, CHARACTER IS FOREVER.
People who are not attractive to you shouldn’t be treated poorly because they are attractive to someone else. There’s no uniform scale of attractiveness; yes the people with pretty faces and attractive features will get the most attention, it doesn’t mean that those without these features are unattractive. We are all attractive!!! Stop putting down people who are not attractive to you.
Indeed, we are sexual beings; we naturally favor people who are attractive to us.There’s nothing wrong in admiring God’s creation; however, we are wrong for placing more emphasis on people’s attractiveness than their character. It’s doesn’t matter how fine you are on the outside, if your character stinks; you are ugly in my eyes.
In my opinion..
Good Looks+ bad Character=Ugly
Good Looks + good Character=GORGEOUS
Bad looks+ good character=Gorgeous
Bad Looks + bad character=UGLY
Chase God and look Good is a simple way to combat desperation while putting things under perspective.
Chasing God is very important for us as singles because only God can complete us. You know what the bible says “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added” Matthew 6:33. As a single the type of guy I want is also chasing God so we will find each other in Christ. God doesn’t want us to idolize relationships, marriages.. He wants us, complete in Him first. Chasing God will also help us to focus our relationship with Christ instead of looking for our significant other. Don’t forget that “every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord” James 1:17. A good man is a gift from God. It makes more sense to chase the giver of good gifts.
Why should you look good? Men are visual creatures. The same way you want your man to look fly when you meet him. You should strive to look fly to impress him too. One of the greatest lie I told myself as a single was “I wanted a guy who loved my inner beauty and not my outward.” So for years, I didn’t wear makeup (Yikes!!). My non-wearing make-up days didn’t go so well. The reality is that guys are visual creatures. I didn’t have a lot of guys in my social circle yet I wanted a guy to like my inner beauty first. How was that going to happen?
Chasing God and looking good puts us in a win-win situation because no man in this world can complete us except Christ. The looking good is so that your husband doesn’t bleed the “blood of Jesus” when God points you out to him. There’s no need to act desperate as we chase God the husband will come.
Hebrew 12:2-“Looking onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”
Smoking-it might look “cool” to smoke among your peers, but it is setting you up for a lifetime of smoking addiction. Everything you do as a teenager is not always “kool.” One day you will grow up to regret it. Google the consequences of smoking and see what you are exposing yourself to. Smoking increases your chances of various health problems. If you don’t want to listen to me just make sure you have a good health insurance.
2. Smoking illegal circumstances: again might seem “kool” now that you are young but you can’t find a legit job when you get older. You can be a genius and become a business owner, but when you are hooked on this stuff you will be doing business to support your drug addiction. Smoking illegal substances opens the door to extreme poverty and bad judgment. Your teenage friends don’t know how smoking these illegal substances will affect you for the rest of our life. Don’t believe me: Get ready to fail some drug tests. If you can’t pass your drug test, you wouldn’t be able to get a legit job. Hello, poverty!!
3. Bullying the nerdy kids-guess what? Nerds are smart. What do we know about smart people? Smart, nerdy people make money. When the nerd you bullied in high school ends up being your boss (you will regret ever bully nerdy kids). Bully shouldn’t take place in our schools; however, it is happening. We should all take a stand against bullying. You don’t know people’s future. The nerd you bullied could be the next president. If you like it or not, you will always regret bullying that nerd because the nerd will always win!
4. Joining a gang: only gets you up for time in prison. Are you in a gang? Enjoy your life now as a free kid because you will soon sleep in a room right next to your toilet. Don’t allow your peers to fool you; being in a gang makes you weak. Nothing positive comes from being in a gang. Smell the roses now because you will soon be sitting in a juvenile prison regretting your actions. Nobody is greater than the law.
5.Dropping out of High school– Yes, you can always go back and get your GED. People still regret the actions that lead them to drop out.
6. Having a baby: you are not financially, psychologically ready for the stress that comes with having a baby. You are a baby having a baby. The responsibility that comes with having a baby is one that you are absolutely not ready for. Your whole life changes when you have a baby. Your baby becomes the center of your world. A lot of teenagers regret having a baby this young.
7. Getting married-As a teenager, you are still growing and learning about the world and love. You will soon find out that the person you are in high school is not the person will you become after college. You are still growing. Give yourself time to grow. Your body is going through changes. Your hormones are raging. Getting married now is only something you will regret later.
Don’t have babies for irresponsible guys who are not responsible for themselves. How can you expect an irresponsible guy to be responsible for someone when he is not responsible for himself?
Have some self-esteem: low esteem will make you do some crazy things to compensate for your low self-esteem
Take care of your child by yourself without his help-take responsibility of the fact that you had unprotected sex with a guy who couldn’t give you anything. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Own it and move on with your life.
Don’t have a baby for a man who clearly doesn’t like children: if he doesn’t like children how do you expect him to like your child. His child might change his mind(your call)
Don’t have babies for a man who doesn’t want babies- he doesn’t want kids, he doesn’t want kids.
Don’t have babies for a man who has children he is not taking care of-What makes you think he is going to take care of your kids?(If you can’t find an answer.. Don’t have kids for him)
Stop having unprotected sex with random guys: (If you must: use protection).
Know that any “baby-daddy” drama will affect your kids. Is it really worth it putting your kids through that? Save your child from 18 years of drama.
Abstain from sex till marriage
Listen to women’s stories about baby daddy’s drama. Learn from their mistakes.Your children deserve the best, please don’t put your children through this.
I had something that happened to me when I was younger. Now I am older, I see the enemy is trying to use my past to influence my future. This is what I tell God in prayer, I refuse to be a victim of my past. I had no control over what happened to me. I was too young to understand the consequences of what happened. I refuse to be a victim of my past. I dare you today to pray the same prayer today.
Genesis 50:20 says “what the enemy meant for evil. God turned it around for God.” God is still in the turning around business. He can turn anything around for good. We have to make conscious decisions to never be victim of the past. Un-forgiveness, bitterness, or any negative effects the past has on you are not God’s will for your life. The past wins if you allow it to have a negative effect on your future.
Rom 8:37 says “In all these things we are overcomers through him who loves us.” We are already overcomers in Christ Jesus.
Don’t be a victim of your past. Overcome it with good. Let it make you better person. I refuse to be a victim of my past. What about You?
This was the question I asked my 12yrs old self when I started attending middle school in the United States.
I was different..(very different. In fact, different is an understatement).
I was flesh out of boarding school in Nigeria that means my hair was short (very short, In fact I could pass for a guy). The Boarding school I attended in Nigeria, every student is required to cut off their hair because they didn’t want us to occupy our time with hair.
My hair was very short, I had this thick African accent (some of my peers thought I was Jamaican). Some thought my accent was kool but some didn’t really know how to accept me maybe cos I was completely different from them.
Ironically, the black kids were the worse.. Most of my bullies were black kids.
Why are people who look like me mean to me?
I expected the white kids to be the bullies cos I was completely different from them.
No..
My very own ppl bullied me.
The only difference between me and the black kids in my school was my thick accent, short hair and weird clothes. I was similar to them but why didn’t they accept me?
Coming to an unknown country, I was already culturally shocked.
But having people who looked like me bully and reject me was a hard thing for my 12 yrs old self to handle.
The white kids accepted me but don’t catch me between two white kids together that means I’d be ignored as if I wasn’t even there.
I wasn’t only bullied by one race, I was bullied by two races.
The white kids only accepted me when none of their other white friends were around
or when they fully accepted me, they told me, I couldn’t be invited to their sleep over parties because their parents were racist.
Mind you, I grew up in a country where everybody is literally BLACK.
Race was never a problem for me.
I never saw my race as a problem until I came to the States.
Certainly, I thought something was wrong with me..
why didn’t I just fit in?
In middle sch and high school.. I can’t really remember having a true black friend.
When I started wearing my hair in braids to school. The black girls were like “she thinks she is all that.” I have now figured out, they thought I was all that (jealous). Middle school was just a preparation for a full year of bullying in 9th grade. I don’t know what I did to these two black guys in my English class, they always had something to say. I couldn’t quite place why I was still a target after my hair grew, I didn’t wear weird clothes anymore. I guess, it didn’t matter that I looked like them.. cos I was still different.
To the white kids: I was black.
To the black kids: I was obviously different
I do admit I was different; however, after my weird clothes changed, my hair grew and my accent was not as thick. Why was I still different to black kids?
I should blame these kids for being so inconsiderate of my situation as this poor little African girl who just wanted to be accepted. No. The kids are not at fault. I am now grown ( I think, I am lol!). I think Parents contribute a lot to how kids think about their peers.
Parents if you constantly tell your kids to only talk to a certain race, class. etc.. you are opening your kids to an environment where they think something is wrong with people who don’t look like them or you don’t want them to associate. Why do you think bullying is still a problem in American schools? I am aware some bullies have issues at home but what about bullies whose parents tell them to only be friends with kids that look like them?
Kids are so innocent and pure. God didn’t create kids to see race. Allow a child and they will play with everybody. Sadly, parents start as early as elementary school to poison their kids minds to segregate. Racism/discrimination/bulling is still alive cos you are allowing it. How can you honestly teach your kids to hate or not associate with that race or class? I understand educating your child not to associate with kids who are trouble makers.
When you fill your kid’s head with hate at home don’t act surprised when he or she acts on it in school. The best place to teach tolerance is at home.
Black parents, your child doesn’t only have to deal with bullies from another race but also from your own race. I call it, double threat of Racism from kids of their own race. Bullying doesn’t discriminate but I do think black kids are easy targets.
Bullying is rampant in this society cos parents and society are telling little kids to stay away from people different from them for no particular reason.
Yes, there’s no right answer to this problem.
You want to stop bullying?!
Start by educating your children and lead by example.
Little kids are dying cos of bullying,
you need to start talking.
I know most of you wouldn’t do anything until your own child becomes a victim.
One of my close friends graduated from Benedict College.
