Where is my Gollibe?

Are you a single Nigerian guy? If yes, you most likely asked yourself this question after watching Flavour’s new music video. If you didn’t ask yourself this question, at least the question crossed your mind. Chai, be honest, na! I loved the message behind the video. It was brilliant and I personally think it’s one of Flavour’s best works; however, this video does not help single Nigerian ladies aboard.

I have lived in the States for 13 years now. 2 out of 3 Nigerian men I meet want to go back home to pick their wives. It is perfectly fine if you already had someone back at home. That’s a different story. Due to the influence of Nigerian movies, social media, and our old school Nigerian mentality these men feel like they have to go back home to find their wives.

                         New flash for Nigerian guys aboard: You can find Gollibe anywhere. 

Golibe

What is so special about Gollibe? She is innocent: simple, good-natured, kind and family oriented. Guys want Gollibe because of her inner beauty and wife qualities. Every guy deserves a Golibe. Most men can agree that they want a good natured girl.

If you are looking for a good natured girl, why would life geographically restrict the good girls from coming to the city? Good girls can be found anywhere. The idea that good girls can only be found in the village is a ludicrous thought. Ladies in the city should not be penalized for being in the city. More exposure doesn’t mean more venality. Bad girls are everywhere, the village is not exempted.

City ladies can be good as village ladies. Village girls can be equally bad. Even though Nigerian men are more inclined to look for Gollibe in the village, I implore you to use the same tactics you would use to find Gollibe in the village in the city and see if you wouldn’t be surprised. Give the ladies around you a sincere chance before you go searching in the village.

How do find your Golibe in the village? You ask your friends and family for recommendations. They give you who they recommend. You meet her. Hopefully, you observe and court her long enough to really know her. You don’t have any preconceived notions about her. You give her a fair chance. Why can’t you do the same for the ladies there in Yankee with you?

Don’t be intimidated by the independent Nigerian ladies aboard, you can find your Gollibe anywhere!!!

5 Types of Africans you will meet in your country:

1. An African who lived in, their home country for a long time and migrated to your home country as adults. These types of Africans are those who have stayed in your country for a long time, but their accent sounds as if they recently migrated to your country. They can lose their accents, but some of them choose not to. These types of Africans are more likely to hold onto their culture and practices. They are very traditional and still stay true African identity.

2. An African who came to your home country at a young age: this African can remember growing up in their home country.   They are a combination of their own country and your home country. They can tell the difference between living in their country and your own country. They have the best of both worlds. They will choose to stay true to their African roots, be fully immerged in your culture or both.

3. Africans who grew up in your home country: this African has never been to their parent’s country. They can only tell you  from what they have been told, heard or read. This African is a born-citizen of your country with an African name.

  1. Africans who just arrived from their home country: when you meet these ones you will know them right away. Give them time, they will get acclimated.
  1. Africans who have lived in your country for a long time and forgot about their African identity.

Next Post: How to communicate effectively with these different types of Africans.

Don’t Marry for these Reasons by John Dumelo

Don’t marry for sex.
Don’t marry because you are of age.
Don’t marry because you are getting old.
Don’t marry because you are lonely.
Don’t marry because you need someone to support you financially.
Don’t marry because you mistakenly got pregnant.
Don’t marry because you don’t want to lose the person.
Don’t marry because of family pressures.
Don’t marry because you like the idea of marriage and admire every wedding gown you see.
Don’t marry because all your friends are getting married.
But get married because you are in love.
Get married because he or she is your best friend and when that love is no more, he or she can still make u smile…..?#?somedayiwillgetmarried?

Green Card Marriages: Don’t be a Victim

As a Nigerian blogger, I have avoided posting anything about green cards marriages for various reasons. I was fine with my reasons until someone left this comment.

That is true because I manipulated an American girl to get green card, and after I got her pregnant, I went back to Nigeria that to be with a another girl who turns out to be a gold digger.

When I saw that comment, I got angry as to why this person decided to infect my day with their comment. I am not discouraging anybody from posting comments but this comment carried a lot of weight which I have to address.

Every year men and women become victims to green card marriages in the name of love; however, it doesn’t mean that every foreigner you meet without a green card is after you for a green card. Personally, I think people shouldn’t marry for anything else but love. In the perfect world everyone marries for love. In reality, everybody marries for a lot of reason

There are obviously some things that you should watch out for-check out this amazing website that has some signs you should watch out for. I agree with 95% of the signs that the lady outlined that’s why I am sharing this link with you. This link also has lots of stories from people which I think you can benefit from.

Marriage is very complex and everybody’s case is different. Ladies, two things signs that you should clearly watch out for:

  1. He pushes you into the marriage: he threatens to leave the relationship if you don’t obey his demands. In this situation, he is only thinking about himself and not what’s best for the relationship. If he can’t wait, you have every right to question his intentions.
  2. He purposes before you meet him. If you are an intuitive person, trust your instincts. If something doesn’t seem right then you need to take a step back and reevaluate. Let your family members and friends meet him, if something is not right they will tell you. Don’t be so blinded by love that you ignore the truth.

Love yourself enough so you can recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of you. Take your time; don’t let anybody rush you to do anything you don’t want to do. Love is anything but selfish.

Marriage is not a joke especially with children involved. TAKE YOUR TIME!! Time will reveal the true character of a person. If you don’t have the time, let them go.
Wait! There’s hope: check out this story.

A Letter to my followers..

Dear Followers,

Thank you so much for your likes, comments, messages and shares.
2014 was a great year for 9jagirl4real.
Thank you for being part of this journey with me.
I appreciate each and every one of you.
I wish you all a very happy and blissful New Year.

Love,
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Nigerian Men are buying Nigerian Women like Suya..

Woman Holding BanknotesNigerian Women, our sole purpose on earth is not to get married to a politician or a rich man. It is also not our duty to give any man a male child that’s God’s duty. A lot of us have the mentality of marrying rich because the present economic situation in Nigeria. A man who buys your heart with his money will use the same money to manipulate and control you in marriage except he loves you. Even when he loves you, he can still use his money to manipulate you. It is our duty to claim our rights in our society by fighting for it. I hope you are paying attention to what is happening in our society. A lot of rich Nigerian men can get away with anything when it comes to women by using their money. Nigerian women, they are using their money to manipulate you.

How can a politician have a mistress that his wife knows about? Why can’t his wife put her foot down against it? Why are we allowing our men to mistreat us and misuse us? I am aware that not all Nigerian men are this way. A woman should not go crying to her in-laws before her husband understand that he is hurting his wife. Most of these men who do these things do them because they know they can get away with it. Do men really value us as women or do they see us as the properties they can buy? (Please, answer this question). Nigerian women, we are responsible for our place in our society. If you don’t want a place in society continue allowing men to buy you like suya.

Enough is enough!! Nigerian Ladies, the way to solve your economic problem is not to marry a rich husband who can use his money to manipulate you. The way to solve this economic problem is not to sleep with men for job offers or salary. The only solution to this problem is for us to think independently outside the men in our lives. Stop thinking you need a man to maintain you. You can start your business (honestly, genuinely without sleeping with any man for funds). It is time for independent Nigerian women to emerge.

We can be financially stable without depending on any man. I don’t think it’s wrong to depend on your husband to provide for the family, but we need to stand up as Nigerian women and stop allowing these men to use their money to manipulate us.

Money doesn’t equal happiness.

THANK YOU for Helping Nigeria DEFEAT Ebola..

The World Health Organization declared Africa’s largest country by population “Ebola-free” on Monday, a sign of how easily the virus could have been contained had other West African countries acted as swiftly as Nigeria did.-The Wall Street Journal

This is one of the most excited news I have heard in a long time from Nigeria. I am so proud of my country for taking active steps to defeat Ebola.  THANK YOU to all the W.H.O doctors who traveled from their home country to help us contain this deadly virus, State and federal Ministries of Health, volunteers, helpers and anybody who played a part in helping us defeat Ebola. THANK YOU so much!!!! God bless you each and every one of you and your families. We appreciate all your help!!!!

I encourage every Nigerian to use the social media to say thank you to people who worked hard to help us eradicate Ebola.

It’s not a woman’s job to find her husband..

It’s a taboo to be Single and Nigerian. A guy told me the other day “Hey, you need to go out and start meeting people” to increase my chances of meeting Mr. Right to marry.
People, please help me answer this question..
IS IT A WOMAN’s Responsibility to find her husband?
Why does everybody at a certain stage in woman’s life metamorphose to relationship experts?
LEAVE US SINGLE LADIES ALONE..
Please, marriage is not by force.
Again, it is not a woman’s job to find her husband.
I pursue God and he will bless me at his own time.
I REFUSE to go out searching..

Nigerian women we need to watch who we talk to..
It is not a woman’s job to go searching for her husband.
If he can’t find me when I travel, work, church or wherever I am then he is not for me.

Rush into marriage and rush out..

Our choice right?

Nigerian Report Card: Nigerian Wedding Dance 2014

Nigerians, its time to report to class for your Nigerian Report Card. 

We start this series off by grading Nigerians Wedding Dance 2014 on Youtube. The categories on how the dances will be graded are: 

1. Creativity (1-10)
2. Music (1-10)
3. Synchronism-everybody dances on one accord (1-10)
4. Video quality (1-10)
5. Originality (1-10)

The highest score for each category is a 10. The highest score a dance can earn is 50 and the lowest score is 1.

Let the Grading Begin.

Yemi and Mayowa Dance 1:

Creativity: 10.. (The dance was very creative) 
Music: 10 (loved it)
Synchronism: 10 (Nobody was off) 
Video Quality: 10.. It wasn’t blurry. 
Originality: 10 (Song and dance was very different. It was very original) 

Grade: A 

Dance 2: Ayoluvmi and Ope 

Creativity: 6 (I have seen some of those moves before) 
Music: 10 (I loved the combination of American and Nigerian music) 
Synchronism: 9 
Video Quality: 10
Originality: 7 (Some moves were not that original. The Nigerian moves with Nigerian songs were very Nice) 

Grade: B 

Gari and Karen’s Dance 3

Creativity: 10 (Dance moves were entertaining to watch)
Music: 10 (Who doesn’t love Kukere?!)
Synchronism: 2 (Some of the bridesmaids were dancing something else. I hope you noticed the short groomsmen in the front killing it). 
Video Quality: 1 (It should be a zero but I am feeling generous because today is my birthday). 
Originality: 10 (Love the creative moves)

Grade: C 

If you disagree with the grades, comment below and give your own grades.